(Not a carry issue) My 13 yr old defended himself yesterday w/ force...

[daddymikey1975]

I came home from work and my 13 year old said to my wife "did you tell dad what happened at school?" (he's been in some trouble before so I kinda got a little worried that he screwed up)

His story is as follows:

"I was standing in the lunch room talking to my girlfriend and this kid bigger than me, comes up behind me and gets me in a headlock/choke hold. I elbowed him as hard as I could in the gut, he let go, I tuned and pushed him. He fell down and everyone was laughing at him."

I asked if he got in trouble and he said that none of the teachers got involved. He said that he told the nearest teacher and that she would let the principal know. My wife spoke w/ the principal and he said he would 'check into things."

I told him that I'm very proud of him defending himself and that he did the right thing. I've always taught my children the following:

1) If someone is talking trash, or verbally harassing you (either at school or not) to tell them to pound sand and walk away to make their personal space bigger. If they bring the fight to you and it escalates, defend yourself at all cost.

2) If someone puts their hand on you first (at school or not) you immediately, and with force, defend yourself at all cost. You might get in trouble with the school (which I will adamantly protest) but will NOT get in any trouble with me or mom.

3) You are not allowed to take the first punch under any circumstances.

4) You are not allowed to verbally escalate a situation to provoke someone else to take the first shot.

I believe he did good, and I made sure I told him as much and how proud I was of him. :yesway

 

[the1kidd03]

Excellent rules to teach.....

 

[Turf Doctor]

Well taught.Great rules indeed.

 

[Classic]

Surprised the school didn't try to punish him for defending himself, that's their usual response.

 

[Scarecrow]

 

[armedindy]

back when i used to get into scuffles, the first thing my dad would always ask me was if i won. Then he would ask me what i could have done to avoid the altercation altogether.

 

[SideArmed]

Excelllent response by your son, and Kudos to you for teaching him to do the right thing.

This hits home with me, as I have a son who is getting up to the school age where bullying and fights can become a problem. I hope that I am able to instill in him good values as well and am able to teach him when it is apropriate to walk away and when it is apropriate to defend yourself.

 

[youngda9]

#3...not allowed to take the first punch. There has to be more to this. I know it goes along with #1. Please expand.

 

[dangar]

Well done...on his actions and your instruction.

 

[KG1]

#3...not allowed to take the first punch. There has to be more to this. I know it goes along with #1. Please expand.

I took it to mean not allowed to "throw" the first punch. Not sure if that's what you are looking to clarify.

 

[MrsGungho]

Surprised the school didn't try to punish him for defending himself, that's their usual response.

my son was suspended for 1 day for defending himself. I got a short version of the story on the phone, the principal explained more when I got there. What I got on the phone the boy was going to it good when he got home. Once I heard the whole story I took him out for Ice Cream. I will never punish a suspension when he was defending himself.

I would wait a couple days to make sure the school doesn't do something at a later date OP.. sounds like "looking into it" could mean trouble may still rear it's ugly head

 

[HoughMade]

Good rules and good for your son.

My kids are home schooled, so logically if everyone followed the rules, there's be no punches thrown....doesn't quite work out like that.

 

[dansgotguns]

Sons lucky to not spend jail time. Sounds extreme but thats how they handle things up here in "the region". It's ridiculous how schools handle fights any more. My son is almost 2 and I'm worried about when when he is schoolage for reasons like this. I know of numerous schools that if your in a fight, defending yourself or not, injuries or not, your getting arrested by an officer who is at that school all day every day. I remember when our bus driver would pull over if someone was fighting, light up a smoke and watch the fight. Then they put cameras in the buses, so he just pointed it at the roof lol. This was about 5-7 years ago. Towards my senior year is when they started all this arresting kids bs.

 

[HICKMAN]

mine all follow the same rules.

well done

 

[RGriff69]

Good on your son for defending himself. We have the same rules at my house.

 

[roisigns]

Be careful ....they try to outlaw self-defense at school.

 

[dyerwatcher]

He sounds like a fine young man that will mature into a responsible, contributing member of society. Nice job.

 

[daddymikey1975]

Surprised the school didn't try to punish him for defending himself, that's their usual response.

#3...not allowed to take the first punch. There has to be more to this. I know it goes along with #1. Please expand.

I took it to mean not allowed to "throw" the first punch. Not sure if that's what you are looking to clarify.

Clarification = He isn't allowed to throw the first punch at school. I don't see a reason for it. If he's that frustrated, he needs to walk away and make his personal space bigger. If the fight is brought to him, he is to stand his ground. (hope that clarifies your question)

Good rules and good for your son.

My kids are home schooled, so logically if everyone followed the rules, there's be no punches thrown....doesn't quite work out like that.

My kids tussle all the time at home. Brotherly love or something LMFAO

 

[KG1]

Clarification = He isn't allowed to throw the first punch at school. I don't see a reason for it. If he's that frustrated, he needs to walk away and make his personal space bigger. If the fight is brought to him, he is to stand his ground. (hope that clarifies your question)

That's what I understood it to mean and was offering my take to the other poster that I thought was looking for clarification. I agree with your point of view as well.

 

[GNRPowdeR]

Good call, Mikey... *High-Five to your son*