open letter to a mugger

[ATM]

Saw this elsewhere and had to share:

Letter from Craigslist

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that
you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife
on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my
girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
across this message. I’d like to apologize. I didn’t
expect you to [censored] your pants when I drew my pistol after
you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a
reason that evening, and it wasn’t that cold outside.
You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911
.45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a
shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
It’s a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your
head, isn’t it? I know it probably wasn’t a great
deal of fun walking back to wherever you’d come from
with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I’m
sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn’t have
you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to
mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
“Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, and
explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some
gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless
guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all of the
cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your
cell. They’ll be on your bill in case you’d like to
know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and
I’ve only had the phone for a little over a day now, so
I don’t know what’s going on with that. I hope they
haven’t permanently cut off your service. I was about to
make some threatening phone calls to the DA’s office
with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a
little rough on you when you did this whole attempted
mugging thing, so I’d like to make it up to you. I’m
sure you’ve already washed your pants, so I’d like
to help you out. I’d like to reimburse you for the
detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and
was it liquid or powder? I’d also like to apologize for
not killing you and instead making you walk back home
humiliated. I’m hoping that you’ll reconsider your
choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me and we’ll do lunch
and laundry. Peace!
- Alex

This is NOT the tactics forum. It's NOT a good idea. It's just funny

 

[NateIU10]

 

[MACHINEGUN]

I love it when a plan comes together.

 

[dwh79]

That is great has to be the best thing on craigs list. I would say this would be a better post on every the side of every atm to maybe give these low lifes who can read at least some thinking material before they rob a person at the ATM.

 

[ATM]

<--- NOBODY robs the ATM!

 

[repair]

<--- NOBODY robs the ATM!

True but I see a lot of videos of you chained and being dragged though doors

Also I tired of paying 2.50 to get my own money and exactly how did you get my money anyways.

 

[BE Mike]

I guess I have a different take on the subject. If this story is true, which I doubt, then what this fellow did after defending himself with his handgun, puts him in the same class as the mugger.

 

[4sarge]

I guess I have a different take on the subject. If this story is true, which I doubt, then what this fellow did after defending himself with his handgun, puts him in the same class as the mugger.

I doubt that the story is factual, adds a twist ending and maybe just maybe what the would be Bad Guy deserved. Maybe, he just should have let the robber have his way. Oh heaven forbid to resist an armed assailant I take it you never enjoyed Charles Bronson in all of those Death Wish movies.

for the post and repped for the story

 

[cox7215]

i love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...............R

 

[Terry Moore]

Real or not, that could be the funniest thing read. I can only imagine the look on the guys face if it was real!!

 

[ATM]

True but I see a lot of videos of you chained and being dragged though doors

Also I tired of paying 2.50 to get my own money and exactly how did you get my money anyways.

The 2.50 (3.00 for non-INGO members) covers my monthly therapy bills due to the emotional trauma caused by frequently being CHAINED AND DRAGGED THROUGH DOORS.

You gave me the money to hang onto. It's for your own good...
You'd just blow it all on guns and ammo.

 

[ballzac86]

True but I see a lot of videos of you chained and being dragged though doors

Also I tired of paying 2.50 to get my own money and exactly how did you get my money anyways.

I always thought it stood for "ass to mouth"....

I see videos of that sometimes, and there are also chains....but no dragging through the doors. haha

 

[ATM]

I always thought it stood for "ass to mouth"....

I see videos of that sometimes, and there are also chains....but no dragging through the doors. haha

That costs extra.:moon:

 

[SavageEagle]

If I was the guy, I'd done it all the same, save for using his stuff and spending his money and what not. I'd probably just gave it to the homeless guy and been on my way. But since it couldn't have been factual, RIGHT THE *** ON!!!!!!! BWHAHAHAHA

Very nice!

Oh and btw, ATM, if you are having so much trouble with the chains and being draggededed, they do make 2" concrete bolt anchors... If that doesn't work, imbed yourself into the wall!

 

[Bill of Rights]

Saw this elsewhere and had to share:

Letter from Craigslist

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that
you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife
on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my
girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
across this message. I’d like to apologize. I didn’t
expect you to [censored] your pants when I drew my pistol after
you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a
reason that evening, and it wasn’t that cold outside.
You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911
.45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a
shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
It’s a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your
head, isn’t it? I know it probably wasn’t a great
deal of fun walking back to wherever you’d come from
with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I’m
sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn’t have
you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to
mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
“Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, and
explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some
gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless
guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all of the
cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your
cell. They’ll be on your bill in case you’d like to
know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and
I’ve only had the phone for a little over a day now, so
I don’t know what’s going on with that. I hope they
haven’t permanently cut off your service. I was about to
make some threatening phone calls to the DA’s office
with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a
little rough on you when you did this whole attempted
mugging thing, so I’d like to make it up to you. I’m
sure you’ve already washed your pants, so I’d like
to help you out. I’d like to reimburse you for the
detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and
was it liquid or powder? I’d also like to apologize for
not killing you and instead making you walk back home
humiliated. I’m hoping that you’ll reconsider your
choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me and we’ll do lunch
and laundry. Peace!
- Alex

This is NOT the tactics forum. It's NOT a good idea. It's just funny

My guess: probably not true.

Hypothetically, though...

Gun at mugger's head: good for him
Mugger himself?
Taking the shoes, phone and wallet:
Personally, I'd have given the shoes to a homeless guy as described, given the wallet (with ID, hopefully) to the cops, and maybe used the phone to call his mother.

In all seriousness, IF it really happened, the call to the police should have been his first action after the mugger was gone and he and his girlfriend were safe. Hell, if the guy had time to get the failed mugger's shoes, wallet, and phone, I'd think he should have proned the mugger out and had him call the cops on himself.

But yeah.. making him himself... that's classic.

Blessings,
B

 

[repair]

The 2.50 (3.00 for non-INGO members) covers my monthly therapy bills due to the emotional trauma caused by frequently being CHAINED AND DRAGGED THROUGH DOORS.

You gave me the money to hang onto. It's for your own good...
You'd just blow it all on guns and ammo.

But I like guns and ammo!

 

[Crystalship1]

Shweet!!!!

 

[BE Mike]

I doubt that the story is factual, adds a twist ending and maybe just maybe what the would be Bad Guy deserved. Maybe, he just should have let the robber have his way. Oh heaven forbid to resist an armed assailant I take it you never enjoyed Charles Bronson in all of those Death Wish movies.

for the post and repped for the story

Nah, I never said that the guy shouldn't have defended himself. But, taking the wallet and using the credit card and racking up charges would just put him in the same class as the mugger. Two wrongs don't make a right. BTW, I own the complete series of Death Wish movies, and really enjoy them.