Open letter to all computer users

[cwillour]

We use wireless as little as possible. This is on a machine that has 2 servo drives that have 2 sync with 2 other servo drives in another machine to feed a coil. We can't run wire because the machine travels in a T pattern. It moves offline to load a coil then back online, travels north about 10' and then back south about 60'. There's no practical way to festoon it.

Festoon to cord reel might be the answer, but I would need a better drawing of the layout. Do you know what kind of track? I have also used simple overhead cord reels in similar situations, provided I did not have too large of an obstruction. All wiring must be shielded to even have a chance to work, however.

I used to deal with festoon for below-the-hook devices and positioning controls on overhead cranes with some regularity when I worked at a crane company.

Also, I have found squirrel cage motors (the RPMs tend to be higher than what I normally see on wound rotor motors) are a nightmare for 2.4GHz radios (I have had slightly better luck with 5GHz gear) but I try limit my distances in shops near machining or high-current equipment to 50' or less and hardware whenever possible. If nothing else, I will use a WiFi bridge to get to an appropriate spot near the equipment and hardware from there.

 

[HandK]

Hope things get better for you!

 

[Scutter01]

Maybe the guy who left a porn DVD thought it was how he had to pay the nerd who fixed his computer.

We prefer the term "technical americans". The n-word is our word. You're not allowed to use it.

 

[Sylvain]

We prefer the term "technical americans". The n-word is our word. You're not allowed to use it.

[STRIKE]Nerd[/STRIKE] technical american boy.

 

[Scutter01]

Laugh while you can. "The geeks shall inherit the earth." It's all right there in black-and-white. So...you know...we've got that going for us.

 

[Sylvain]

Laugh while you can. "The geeks shall inherit the earth." It's all right there in black-and-white. So...you know...we've got that going for us.

Geek and nerd, is that the same thing?

 

[cwillour]

Geek and nerd, is that the same thing?

A nerd studies in order to become a geek.

 

[ArmedProgrammer]

Hey Scutter -

It works that way in software land as well. This is a classic piece - author is unknown. I love what I do - but this illustrates one of the occupational hazards.

If Architects had to work like Programmers

Dear Mr. Architect!

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminium, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminium, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

P.S.:
My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

P.P.S.:
Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

 

[cwillour]

News flash: ALL IT guys are the surly IT guy. I haven't known one yet that isn't.

Funny you should say that ... my wife has been telling me that I sound more bitter towards non-technical office managers and senior managers/COOs as the years go by (and I really have to keep from laughing when I hear most business managers and directors bring me their ROI analysis for the enhancements they want me to sell their bosses on.)

 

[hoosierdaddy1976]

Laugh while you can. "The geeks shall inherit the earth." It's all right there in black-and-white. So...you know...we've got that going for us.

that's only because you'll eat anything. from dictionary.com:
geek- a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken.

 

[trillobite]

Worst one I had, was when my boss's boss asked me to work on his home computer. It was a Dell Poweredge, and he used it for company paperwork at his at-home office.

It got hit by a power surge, and could I fix it?

So, he brings it in to my worksite, I stick it in my trunk, and work another 6 hours of my shift.

Driving home, I smell something funny, but I shrug it off as computer dust.

Get home, grab his tower from my trunk, and set it inside my front door, while I change into clean clothes, and eat supper.

Finished up my meal, cleaned off my desk, and set the tower on it.

Pull the screw from the back of the case, and slide open the side panel.






Scream, jump back, run to the kitchen, grab a trash bag, dump the tower into the bag, drop a activated bug bomb into the trash bag, tie the bag shut, drop it out the back door, grab the jug of Enforcer, and spray down the house, porch, car, my shoes, take a shower......





After a hour of trying to relax, and finally getting my heart rate down, I pick up my house phone, dial a phone number......
Me: "Yeah, hi Jim. Say, do you have a problem with roaches at your house?"
Him: "A slight issue in the kitchen, why?"
Me: "This computer is going to be expensive to repair, you should go buy a new one. It's really not worth the cost to fix it."
Him: "Let me get back to you, I'll call right back."



Him: "Steve (His boss, which means I'm involved three levels up in the company, now) said to fix it, and just send him the bill."
Me: "Okay, it's your money, not mine."


Next morning, on my day off, I go to the store, and pick up several containers of isopropyl alcohol.
Back home, I carry the trash bag out back, to the picnic table (thanks, Hefty, for making some awesome bags), open it up, soak the computer down with more bug spray, and cover the table and the surrounding ground with bug spray. I really don't like roaches.

Pull on my wife's rubber dish gloves (knowing I'll owe her new ones), reach inside the case, and start wiping and scraping out bugs. A guess would be about 60 of them. I will always regret not taking a picture, at the time.
I get down far enough, to see a hard drive with cracked controller chips, a case too impregnated with feces to be saved, and a bad smelling PSU.

Out comes the motherboard, and it gets washed off with the garden hose and a toothbrush, then with the alcohol. So does the ram. The only two items salvageable.
I pick up a used case (luckily, it's a identical Dell case). New hard drive, PSU, CD drive, processor heat sink and fan, and a fresh load of Windows 98.
Total bill, with ID-10-T fee included, $450.

I still don't think I charged enough. But it was a bit less than buying a identical replacement, at the time. I sent the bill to my boss's boss's boss, itemized, but leaving out the exact nature of the "excessive debris" inside the case. All files unsalvageable.


So, years later, I'm sharing this story with some co-workers, and they tell me, yes, they know all about his house. They played poker with him, and never at his house. They did, once, and after walking in the front door and seeing roaches on the walls, they turned around and left.
Thanks for the warning, pals.

Now, anytime I get a computer to work on, I pull the side panel as soon as I get it....either in their car, or in their house.

 

[LEaSH]

Turn it off and on again?

IT crowd

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn2FB1P_Mn8

 

[No Lot Lizards]

Op my lolcats account isnt working I know its 5 am but can you come fix it for me

 

[HollidaySlim]

• Take your porn DVD out of your laptop before handing it to me for service unless you're offering it to me as a tribute.

Not to necro this, but why is this so hard for users to figure out?

Guy sends his PC back to our corporate offices because the NIC died on his machine. We fire it up to confirm the NIC is truely dead and notice the DVD-ROM has media in it, look at what the disk contains and wouldn't you know it...porn...~4 gigs of really really hardcore weird stuff. .

Fixed the machine and called the user to inform him we fixed it and would be shipping out the PC and all media that was shipped to us. He said nothing for about 5 -10 secs and then concluded the conversation with "whoops"