Parents have been wrong for thousands of years; Do not sleep next to your infant

[rmabrey]

Rambone, you are now getting to the point of dangerous with your little advice column. Adults sleeping next to newborns is deadly. Period. No level of liberal warm and fuzzy hope this doesn't put my child in therapy because they are alone, even though they don't have the psyche for self realization yet will every make it safer. Maybe next time I go on a run when a mother smothers her child to death because she fell asleep while breast feeding in the upright position, I will send you her number. Or the dad that takes a nap for only a moment with his infant and only drapes his arm over the kid, is now screwed up for life. You might want to try to live in a world of risk vs benefit.

^^ This.

Its flat out dangerous.

 

[steveh_131]

That is the worst argument I have read in this OP yet.

Then you haven't read much.

Yes, it's idiopathic. We have no idea what causes it. Maybe sleeping alone in their crib can cause it part of the time. You can't prove or disprove it.

I'm not denying that children have died this way. I'm simply saying that it's perfectly possible that the benefits may outweigh the risks.

And for the record, my wife and I discussed it and decided AGAINST co-sleeping. I'm not some brainwashed tin-foil-hat wearing hippy liberal. I just don't buy into every so-called fact that the medical community is pimping on any given day.

Make decisions for yourselves. If you're healthy, breastfeeding, not taking medications, and have healthy and natural eating and sleeping habits, then maybe co-sleeping is what's best for your family. Or find a safe way to do it, like this:

 

[redneckmedic]

Then you haven't read much.

LOL, little feller I teach an entire block on Emergency Medicine for the Prehospital Pediatric Patient. Which includes a section on SIDS. I am not a Google>Copy>Paste>Post kinda guy.

We know several things about SIDS, and the higher correlation has nothing to do with the child being alone or attending a slumber party while sleeping. In fact there has been some cases where the child has been as old as 5 and suffered from SIDS.

I do everything I can to try not to come off as a jerk when posting, but sometimes other peoples ignorance makes my post wear that mask.

 

[steveh_131]

LOL, little feller I teach an entire block on Emergency Medicine for the Prehospital Pediatric Patient. Which includes a section on SIDS. I am not a Google>Copy>Paste>Post kinda guy.

Big feller, that was in response to what you said about not reading a dumber argument in this thread. Nobody doubts that you are basically Dr. House but smarter.

We know several things about SIDS, and the higher correlation has nothing to do with the child being alone or attending a slumber party while sleeping. In fact there has been some cases where the child has been as old as 5 and suffered from SIDS.

So you have no idea what it is or what's causing it. We can really just stop there and accept the fact that you have no idea if there is a causal relationship between sleeping alone in a crib and "SIDS". Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. Stop pretending to have all the answers.

I do everything I can to try not to come off as a jerk when posting, but sometimes other peoples ignorance makes my post wear that mask.

Ignorance is pretending that you can tell every single person how to raise their children based on little or no scientific evidence.

 

[snowman46919]

Ignorance is pretending that you can tell every single person how to raise their children based on little or no scientific evidence.

Ignorance is arguing aggressively over a claim with no scientific evidence for EITHER side over the internet even though you both seem staunchly placed with your OPINIONS. Gentleman you both raise some good points lets leave the sticks where they lay instead of leading this thread down a road I have traveled myself that leads to nothing but the loss of a good thread.

 

[redneckmedic]

Steveh_131 thank you for the kind words. I'm glad that we have came to a mutual understanding.

 

[steveh_131]

Ignorance is arguing aggressively over a claim with no scientific evidence for EITHER side over the internet even though you both seem staunchly placed with your OPINIONS. Gentleman you both raise some good points lets leave the sticks where they lay instead of leading this thread down a road I have traveled myself that leads to nothing but the loss of a good thread.

You'll notice that I didn't advocate one way or another, and I in fact chose NOT to co-sleep with our children.

And I'm the one who is advocating being informed about both sides of the debate, not pushing my opinion on anyone.

Steveh_131 thank you for the kind words. I'm glad that we have came to a mutual understanding.

You'll notice that your post was the first to make accusations of ignorance and achieve a condescending tone. I was simply pointing out that there are much dumber arguments made in this thread than mine. Get off your high horse.

Also, some interesting reading for people who want to learn more than the mainstream belief:

Ask Dr. Sears: Co-Sleeping a SIDS Danger? - Parenting.com

And a chart at this link:

http://thebabybond.com/images/TryThisSIDSGraphNow.gif

Note: This chart only shows a correlation, not a cause. Also, the source's credibility is unknown, so explore the raw statistics yourself if you have an interest in actual knowledge of the facts.

 

[rambone]

Regarding the mysterious reasons that infants stop breathing in their sleep... Perhaps there is a logical explanation after all. It is just marketed as its own unexplained syndrome (SIDS).

 

[RichardR]

Perhaps the State should remove newborn babies from their parents custody as soon as they are born.

It's the only way to be absolutely sure that an irresponsible parent won't neglect or abuse or endanger a child.

 

[ATOMonkey]

Regarding the mysterious reasons that infants stop breathing in their sleep... Perhaps there is a logical explanation after all. It is just marketed as its own unexplained syndrome (SIDS).

The Websense category "Racism and Hate" is filtered.

 

[Pami]

Perhaps the State should remove newborn babies from their parents custody as soon as they are born.

It's the only way to be absolutely sure that an irresponsible parent won't neglect or abuse or endanger a child.

They're already working toward that, I think. I read today that drop-side cribs are officially banned (to sell or resell) as of June because 32 infants and a suspected 14 others have died in the last 10 years due to these cribs.

Day cares across the country have one year to replace their drop-side cribs, and parents are encouraged to destroy the ones they have.

 

[rambone]

They're already working toward that, I think. I read today that drop-side cribs are officially banned (to sell or resell) as of July because 32 infants and a suspected 15 others have died in the last 10 years due to these cribs.

Day cares across the country have one year to replace their drop-side cribs, and parents are encouraged to destroy the ones they have.

Wow. Thank God we have people smarter than us that can tell us how to be safe and proper citizens.

Again, the experts only seem to be catering to the lowest common denominator of parents (which makes their advice pretty useless to the rest of us). Just like the nanny-state legislators think that if they can create restrictive enough laws, that they can make unfit parents into capable ones somehow.

 

[88GT]

Yeah um , you need to train the kid to stay in his/ her bed and put themselves back to sleep when they wake up. Our boys were sleeping by themselves through the night by the time they were 8 or 10 months old. IN THEIR OWN BED!Never let them sleep with us. The youngest while he was breast feeding slept in a basket next to the bed so mama could get to him easily but other than that they slept in their own beds.
I know folks that let their young-uns come in their room when they were little and now they do it at 10 and 12 years old.
Sorry, my bedroom is adults only unless they are invited in to watch tv or read with us.

I can do ya one better. Both of mine were sleeping 7pm to 7am through the night by 13weeks. No midnight feedings unless a growth spurt popped up and didn't get addressed during the day.

I did sleep with #2 on the couch with him on my chest for about 7 weeks since he slept so much better on his tummy because of his reflux. After that, he went right into the crib. He's 20months now and #1 is 4.5 years.

I'm going to stop there because this is going to veer into the attachment parenting tirade I normally have. Better not to go there.

This article's advice was news to me, and I thought I would keep you guys abreast of what the experts are saying. I expect that there are people of both opinions here. I posted this because I read it in another forum and saw all of these mothers sharing their stories about how their doctors have actually yelled at them for following their maternal instincts. That bothers me.

It's not new at all. But if you're not exposed to any situations in life that bring it to your attention, you may never know it exists. The debates on this and BF vs FF are uglier than anything we'll ever see here in our OC vs CC debates.

Maternal instincts don't necessarily come with common sense though.

 

[Pami]

Here's the article I mentioned above.

After dozens of deaths, drop-side cribs outlawed - Health - Kids and parenting - msnbc.com

My bad.. it takes effect in June, not July.

 

[public servant]

"Do not sleep next to your infant." So say the experts at the American Academy of Pediatrics. Forget about the bonding and the emotional connection achieved from physical contact with your newborn.

So, you decide. Have most of the parents in the course of history been doing it wrong? Should newborn infants sleep alone in a dark crib in their own room?

Do you have children of your own?

 

[redneckmedic]

WWJD?











Sleep alone in a manger. If its good enough for the son of God....its good enough for my child

 

[public servant]

WWJD?











Sleep alone in a manger. If its good enough for the son of God....its good enough for my child

 

[Expat]

Dang, our two kids were kept in the other room, in a crib with those drop down sides, laid on their stomachs... it is a wonder they lived.

 

[Pami]

Dang, our two kids were kept in the other room, in a crib with those drop down sides, laid on their stomachs... it is a wonder they lived.

When I posted the crib thing on my FB page, my mom pointed out that I came home and slept in a laundry basket with a pillow in the bottom. And the kitchen sink was my bathtub. I think I'm mostly ok. Mom agreed. She said, "Mostly."

 

[rambone]

Do you have children of your own?

No I don't. But I hope to understand what I'm getting into before I get there. I think most people wait until they are already knee deep in diapers before the do some reading about raising kids. I want a head start.

I posted this thread because I thought a good part of INGOers would like to know that they are breaking the rules by bonding with their kids. I appreciate people's input on the matter.

How many kids would it take to make my opinion any more relevant? I still wouldn't be an expert unless I put on my white coat and stethoscope.