I really do appreciate the insights. I wish I was kidding when I said never mind, my shoulder is so jacked up these days it takes me a month to get something done I used to be able to do in a week or less. Probably be a waste of money and effort to plant them as I won't be able to take care of them properly. Hopefully I can get a decent garden going next year, another thing I know nothing about so we'll see.
FWIW, I have planted 2 fruitless "fruit" trees as ornamental trees in the past and they're quite beautiful and NONE of the work... None of the food either, but none of the stinging insects as well (a personal problem for me) and no annual stress monster of feeling like you have to can/freeze/dry every parcel of fruit that comes off of them.
I had a plumb and a cherry. I'd go with the plumb twice if I had it to do over again. I just preferred that look.