Protection

[billyboyr6-otherhalf]

The boyfriend will be out of town for a few months making money for the family. He'd like for me to keep one of his handguns at home for the protection of our daughter and me. I do understand his thoughts and I'm fine with the idea, however; I don't care for his handguns and I feel like they have a significant recoil. The recoil makes me feel very much like I can't handle his gun with enough skill to provide the protection, should we need it. I suggested buying and Ruger 22 as I feel very comfortable with that but will do less damage should I need to use it. In my defense, I would rather just slow someone down rather than literally take their life (defense or not) and have that on my conscience. He said that I should try to handle one of his guns as one bullet would take an offender down and stay down (which is very true, accurate shot or not, it would do serious damage). This discussion then got me to thinking about our escape plan should we need it. I am a good shot, I am confident in that, but to take someone's life into my own hands at a threat scares me. I know that when it comes to defending my daughter, Mama Bear would win out every time...I just wondered if anyone has any comments, thoughts, or similar experience to help me get through these next couple months alone....it would be much appreciated!

Thanks!

 

[darkkevin]

Shotgun, home defense is easy with a shotgun. Have him (or someone) show you the in's and outs of the gun and it will be your best defense as a novice.

 

[Tink]

Although i would hate to take someone's life, if they are breaking into my house, i will be forced to defend myself. It's them or me. Shooting to put someone down long enough for you to get away? They still know where you live! If they aren't caught right away then what?

 

[IndyDave1776]

Aside from the 2-3% of the population who are certifiable sociopaths, aversion to killing is a perfectly normal human attribute. The question you have to ask yourself is that of whether you are sure a nonfatal shot will stop a perp who is wound up on drugs and quite literally feeling no pain, and from there how that works out for you and your daughter. Sometimes taking care of business is unpleasant but very necessary.

 

[billyboyr6-otherhalf]

Although i would hate to take someone's life, if they are breaking into my house, i will be forced to defend myself. It's them or me. Shooting to put someone down long enough for you to get away? They still know where you live! If they aren't caught right away then what?

This is the point that the bf brought up...he said, "Them or you?" I didn't think about the fact that they know where I live and could get away...thank you for that, great point!

 

[billyboyr6-otherhalf]

Aside from the 2-3% of the population who are certifiable sociopaths, aversion to killing is a perfectly normal human attribute. The question you have to ask yourself is that of whether you are sure a nonfatal shot will stop a perp who is wound up on drugs and quite literally feeling no pain, and from there how that works out for you and your daughter. Sometimes taking care of business is unpleasant but very necessary.

Another great point!! Thank you for this, this is all very informative and matter of fact!! The other question of mine is, i'm so uncomfortable shooting his guns. The recoil makes me feel so ill-prepared. I plan to practice before he leaves but if I'm this uncomfortable now, will I be accurate when it counts???

 

[netsecurity]

Just practice a lot. 9mm recoil should be okay after several trips to the range to get your confidence up. I would suggest range membership, or better yet, a course. A shotgun is also a great idea, but talk about devastating, be prepared for body parts to fly off!

The only thing that ever matters is you and your family's own health and safety, so practice rigorous gun safety, and don't think twice about what you might have to do in the worst case scenario, just do like you trained--hit the target.

 

[Valvestate]

I don't have kids yet, but to me the choice would be straight forward. I'd rather have the death of an intruder on my conscience than that of my own child and not having done my job to prevent it.

If I may ask, what kind of handgun did he leave you with?

 

[Colinb913]

Whether or not you can handle the recoil, the gun, or the pressure. The final question YOU have to ask YOURSELF is are you prepared to pull that trigger should you be obligated to? If you can answer that question, than you will be fine.

Oh, and if you can't handle a handgun, try a shotgun. I know, sounds goofy, but a 20 gauge shotgun will feel better recoil-wise, and do more damage than a handgun. My girlfriend is far more comfortable handling my 12 gauge shotgun, than my .380 pistol.

 

[Sticky]

Shoot a .22 and a 9mm (try 6" pie plates, or similar, at 7 to 10 yards). If you think the .22 is all the recoil that you can handle, then use the .22.

 

[coltford]

Tell billyboy to get you a 4 inch mod 10 and don light loaded 38 s that's what Kim uses when I am gone

 

[Fixer]

The boyfriend will be out of town for a few months making money for the family. He'd like for me to keep one of his handguns at home for the protection of our daughter and me. I do understand his thoughts and I'm fine with the idea, however; I don't care for his handguns and I feel like they have a significant recoil. The recoil makes me feel very much like I can't handle his gun with enough skill to provide the protection, should we need it. I suggested buying and Ruger 22 as I feel very comfortable with that but will do less damage should I need to use it. In my defense, I would rather just slow someone down rather than literally take their life (defense or not) and have that on my conscience. He said that I should try to handle one of his guns as one bullet would take an offender down and stay down (which is very true, accurate shot or not, it would do serious damage). This discussion then got me to thinking about our escape plan should we need it. I am a good shot, I am confident in that, but to take someone's life into my own hands at a threat scares me. I know that when it comes to defending my daughter, Mama Bear would win out every time...I just wondered if anyone has any comments, thoughts, or similar experience to help me get through these next couple months alone....it would be much appreciated!

Thanks!

I would say until you get past this debate with yourself your choice in guns is irrelevant. You are not shooting to take someones life you are stopping them from doing harm to you or your family. Just slowing them down will not stop them from doing you harm. It is a gamble I would not take. Some will run after being shot once, others may fall down, and a few will become enraged and attack. 1 shot even in the heart will not immediately neutralize a target.
Coming to terms with the task of self defence and stopping the threat seems to be your biggest hurdle. Any hesitation when the time comes could be the difference between live and death.
Whatever gun and caliber you decide make sure you are extremely comfortable with it.
Massad Ayoob has a lot of writings and videos about just this subject. Might help put things into perspective for you.

 

[Dirtebiker]

Your best bet is to take at least one, or more if you can, home defense course. And as many trips to the range as you are able, to get accustomed to whichever weapon you choose.
Above all else, you need to decide if you can take a life when the need arises!



In most cases, a shotgun is the best home defense weapon!

 

[looney2ns]

The more practice you have, the better you can handle the recoil. Part of it is physical, and part of it is mental. The heavier the gun, the less recoil it has.
As you mentioned, you do need a plan.
[ame]http://youtu.be/TyMOBTWD5d0[/ame]

 

[dobeluvr]

What type and caliber does your boyfriend have. It may just be a simple matter of choice in ammunition. My wife has a 2" snubnose .357 revolver. It is downright painful to shoot .357 ammo out of it. When we went to the range she could only shoot one time before she had enough. Changed the ammunition to 38 special and she went thru the 2 boxes with no complaints at all.

 

[actaeon277]

I second the defensive shooting class.
And, see if there are any INGO Meet & Shoots in your area. Great chance to try out different weapons, and meet friendly people.
If someone is willing to hurt you, hurt them. They placed it on themselves.
You MUST be able to shoot to stop the threat. Otherwise, they can disarm you.
Mental preparation is a MUST. I'm not saying become a stone cold killer.