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  • melensdad

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 94.7%
    18   1   0
    Apr 2, 2008
    24,079
    77
    Far West Suburban Lowellabama
    Jesus and the Democrat

    A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus sitting over there?' The waitress nodded 'yes,' so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

    The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus over there?' The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, 'My treat.'

    The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled ove r to a booth, sat down and hollered, 'Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light?' He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that God's boy over there?' The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. 'On my bill,' he said.

    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed' The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

    Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.' The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

    Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, 'Don't touch me... I'm collecting disability.'
     

    seamus

    Sharpshooter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Mar 21, 2008
    503
    18
    A very attractive woman was having a doctor/patient interview after her gynecological examination. The doctor was puzzled because the woman stated in the records that she had been married 3 times yet she was still a virgin, the evidence was overwhelming because he had seen the unruptured hymen himself! So he asked the woman; How is it possible that you have been married 3 times yet remain a virgin?" Well doctor, my first husband was 90 years old and totally impotent and was unable to consumate our marriage. My second husband turned out to be gay and was more interested in my wardrobe than me and my third husband was a republican and would just lay there in bed and tell me how good it was going to be!
     
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