Separation woes

[rimfire_crazed]

You need to get a lawyer who doesn't know her since she too is a lawyer.

Serious as a heart attack here. It's ethics be-damned to some of these divorce practitioners.

 

[DragonGunner]

Unfaithfulness will have nothing to do with this legally. Glad your seeing a lawyer. Sounds like she left an thought things over, hoping you would get depressed an just leave....some woman play on this depression for the man to make the wrong choices, which often mean leaving the home. You might guess I've been around the block a few times....I never left, but was tempted....an thats what they wanted....I stayed an told them to get out...they did an I took over the house an got it over to my name. Hang in there man....it sucks I know.....but it will get better...just don't make any rash choices an you'll be OK.

 

[CindyE]

Sorry you have to go through this crap but defend yourself from being taken to the cleaners. Nice guys really finish last in the divorce game.

Yup- I thought my ex and i were being civil and had things all worked out. He was unfaithful too, we had nothing in common anymore, married young, and got pregnant shortly after. The problem was, he still acted single and irresponsible, and i grew up quick. It really was a huge relief to know it was over. the low self-esteem and depression i'd been feeling got a lot better. but i did make some stupid choices during that time. i wanted it over quick, and thought we were pretty much in agreement of how things would be divided, and who would be responsible. i didn't get my own lawyer, i told him to just have his lawyer write it up. when we went to see the lawyer, some things had changed, but i just wanted it over, so i went along with it.
All in all, things didn't work out bad, and we are on decent terms now. But I was pretty stupid about some of it, and shouldn't have allowed emotions to weigh in on my decisions.

 

[printcraft]

You need to get a lawyer who doesn't know her since she too is a lawyer.

This. /\

Don't leave the house.

I would change the locks.

Petition immediately.

Follow all the advice of your attorney...... they know the routine, don't try to out think them or "work with your wife" outside of council, that WILL bite you in the buttocks.

 

[gungirl65]

The fact that she is an attorney may play in your favor if you hire an aggressive attorney. Make sure they know she is one first thing to make sure they are still interested in representing you & will fight aggressively for you. As an attorney she should be bound by rules of conduct, if she violates them during the divorce she could endanger her law license. Make sure the attorney is willing to file charges to have her disciplined or disbarred if the situation calls for it. This would be an extreme occurrence but it would be nice to have the option available if it is deserved.

 

[Dirtebiker]

Having to put more personal info out here than I prefer, but Im at a loss.

Had the unfortunate displeasure to discover several months worth of my wife's infidelity this past Monday. Long story short, I left the house for the day. She packed her bags and left for a hotel, and I came back to the house and have been taking care of the day to day things here. We have no kids.

She's been working while I am trying to complete my degree on GI Bill. House note is in both our names.

Tonight she says she is coming back to the house in the AM and wants me out. We moved to the sticks to start a little hobby farm out in the country, but we are well away from friends and family that I can turn to.

I really REALLY dont want to have to get the county police involved. I dont know if I legally HAVE to leave. Especially since she has already left, and is coming back to get me out just to screw with me.

Any info or links to where I can find out what my rights are in Indiana? Havent had much luck with the google fu.

No, you don't have to leave your house! Meet with a lawyer, of course.
Consider marriage counseling first, before divorce!
I may be " old fashioned" , but I believe marriage is FOREVER! It is possible to work things out! Maybe not likely, but possible.... If both of you want it to work.
I am always amazed at how easily most people give up on something they "promised" in front of GOD, family, and friends!

I'm not judging you, by any means! Good luck with whatever you choose!

 

[gungirl65]

The next few months will suck like no other. Just remember this is a temporary situation. Soon it will be better and you will build a better life than the one you are leaving behind. When it’s over you will find strength you didn’t know you had and you will have to answer to no one but yourself. Stay strong & try to stay positive. Look for creative ways to cope to get through this difficult time. An idle mind will get you into trouble if you let it. Let humor be your best friend.

Music is a good outlet. Play it loud & sing along. No sappy love sh*t though. I use to consider Linkin Park too head banger & angry for me when I was happy. Now I love it. Their Hybrid Theory CD has lots of great songs to scream along to. For giggles I go to You Tube & look up songs. I like I’ll Pray for You by Jaron. I like the thought of something bad happening to him. It’s fun to imagine it when you listen to the song. I like Cheater Cheater by Joey & Rory. It’s a fun song to sing a long with. Music will give you the opportunity to speak the feelings you are experiencing that your mate will deny the validity of. I would just avoid the cry in the beer songs or songs that have meaning for you as a couple.

For me I am dealing with the anger of betrayal. I am not use to feeling angry. This isn’t me. First off I can’t shoot the lying, POS. Yelling serves no constructive purpose & he just blames it on me anyway. So for me walking the trail, walking the dog, doing house & yard work, spending time with friends, family & pets helps to take the edge off. Move your body instead of giving into the temptation of overeating. The benefit of activities is that it helps release the tension & you can lose weight & make your self even more appealing. It’s fun to shape up. It boosts your self esteem & there is a satisfaction in knowing the guilty POS is turned on by your appearance but they can only look & not touch.

Make sure you get enough sleep. This situation is hard enough to deal with without adding lack of sleep to the equation. You need to take care of you now.

Join forums & make new friends. Hope this helps.

 

[SideArmed]

Sorry to hear this, it's never good. Not sure if this has been said or not, but get a digital voice recorder and use it religiously. If you are even in remote proximity of her, turn it on, or leave it on all the time. Record ALL interactions/phone calls with her from here to the foreseeable future.
Having a voice recorder really helped in a huge way when it came to getting custody of my son. I can't stress how helpful it was in court to be able to have the phone calls and interactions recorded to back up the truth.

Good luck, and as others have said, Lawyer up, and file first.

 

[wtfd661]

All great advice has been given, so all I can say is Prayers sent your way.

 

[ocsdor]

... bug the phone...

In Indiana, this is illegal unless one of the parties involved in the phone conversation is doing the recording. This includes recording using a device not attached to the phone line (i.e. webcam with microphone).

 

[DragonGunner]

No, you don't have to leave your house! Meet with a lawyer, of course.
Consider marriage counseling first, before divorce!
I may be " old fashioned" , but I believe marriage is FOREVER! It is possible to work things out! Maybe not likely, but possible.... If both of you want it to work.
I am always amazed at how easily most people give up on something they "promised" in front of GOD, family, and friends!

I'm not judging you, by any means! Good luck with whatever you choose!

You need to read post 14...then you wouldn't have to of posted.

 

[Rambler]

Just be thankful that you don't have kids. As bad as you think it is now, it could be a THOUSAND times worse.

Good luck.

 

[Rambler]

No, you don't have to leave your house! Meet with a lawyer, of course.
Consider marriage counseling first, before divorce!
I may be " old fashioned" , but I believe marriage is FOREVER! It is possible to work things out! Maybe not likely, but possible.... If both of you want it to work.
I am always amazed at how easily most people give up on something they "promised" in front of GOD, family, and friends!

I'm not judging you, by any means! Good luck with whatever you choose!

Translation: I'm going to make some broad and judgmental statements, but that doesn't mean I'm being judgmental.



Since when does "old fashioned" mean ignorant, judgmental and condescending? Oh wait.....I see that you banged the OP over the head with GOD. Heck, if you've got him on your side, how can anyone possibly disagree with you?

 

[ultraspec]

We were married after I left the service.
We've been in marriage counseling. Her infidelity started while we were engaged in said counseling. It occurred over the past two months.
Im not interested in salvaging the marriage, just want to know if she can have me booted from a house that my name is on in Indiana.
She is a lawyer, which makes matters more difficult for me. I hope she still has enough respect for the law not to trump up some bull**** to have me ousted from the house. In her current mental condition I put nothing past her.

Off to find a lawyer.

SOme very good advice here however Ill ADD one thing.


Take all your guns somewhere and leave them before she tries to pull something else on you. Since she is a lawyer you have to protect yourself anyway you can. I would consult an attorney and see what they say however like others have said you have to think about what the outcome may be on this one, you definately DONT want to catch a domestic violence case out of the stuff you are going through. Your word against hers if there are no witnesses and her being a lawyer she knows what to tell the police if they come.

 

[ultraspec]

One other thing.....Sorry to hear you are going through all this.

 

[spasmo]

Please refrain from name calling. Keep the thread on topic please.

 

[ArmedProgrammer]

Scarnucci -

I just saw this. If you don't remember me, I've been to your place. My son and I stopped by and said hi to you. I am sorry to hear of this. I no longer own the place down the road from you. PM me if there's anything we can do to help you.

 

[ultraspec]

Serious as a heart attack here. It's ethics be-damned to some of these divorce practitioners.

This. /\

Don't leave the house.

I would change the locks.

Petition immediately.

Follow all the advice of your attorney...... they know the routine, don't try to out think them or "work with your wife" outside of council, that WILL bite you in the buttocks.

Def listen to the part of getting one that does not know her.

DO NOT change the locks. If you do this you are preventing her entry into the house when she is LEGALLY entitled to entry (as she is on the mortgage according to you)

 

[Dead Duck]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Duck
... bug the phone...

In Indiana, this is illegal unless one of the parties involved in the phone conversation is doing the recording. This includes recording using a device not attached to the phone line (i.e. webcam with microphone).

Actually this is what I said - Sorry if it got taken incorrectly-

When your gone, she might have people come over to go through and throw your things out, bug the phone/house, change the locks. Keep it civil but she is not your friend anymore.

It was meaning that HER and/or her friends could bug the phone/house and change the locks on him while he is not home so he needs to be careful.
Legally, he could bug the phone as long as he is on one end of the conversation but he would have to turn it off if he left her alone in the house.
My X did all of the above to me. I found her recording device while I was planting my own. Hers were on - 24/7. I would never officially suggest for anyone to illegally plant a bug but, now its out there - food for thought.

I was preparing for every evil scenario she could throw at me(I hated having to do that) and I almost had to use all of them to counter hers. Dirty - Dirty - Dirty.
Yes - She was that evil because there was money involved.

 

[williamsburg]

sorry to hear about the situation youre in...ive beendown the same road and it sucks...just keep straight and level minded...i would transfer anything that you can thats joint into your name and split from all joint dealings you can(utilities,credit cards,etc) and take a few minutes and put a freeze on your credit...iuts free w/ indiana atty general online...but before it gets too far...LAWYER

hope anything i said helps and i know others said the same as well

sorry to hear