Snowflake Hippies

[1SG USA Ret]

I was working at what some of you remember as the "Unemployment Office" when a young Hippie walked in and took a number. Well I ended up calling his number and he came over to my booth and started complaining right off that he couldn't find a job that suited him. I pulled up his record and noticed he was no longer getting benefits. He had maxed out. I asked if he had been looking and he said "yes" but for various reasons, he was either overqualified, underqualified, job paid too little, etc. As he was sitting there whining, I looked him over. Long greasy hair with dirty shirt and jeans, about 25 years old or so. Missing teeth and unshaven. I said let me look and see if I can find you some work. He wanted part-time, no labor, within local commuting. Don't we all. I pulled out a file and began. Rich couple at Geist needs a chauffeur preferable age 25 with no points or accidents on driver's license. Lives in guest house on property free and "On Call" 24/7/365. Meals furnished or paid for. Must wear suit and tie and be clean shaven and keep family Mercedes spotless at all times. Will drive 21 year old daughter around Indy and to movies and concerts in 3 state area. Will also accompany daughter overseas and perform security by shadowing her while attending events and chauffeuring her and carrying bags. Job pays $200K a year. At that, the hippie jumped up yelling "I can do this, I can do this!" Then he looked at me real hard like and said "Are you shittin' me?" I said "Yeah, but you started it!"