So I went to bed on a Friday night...And when I woke up I saw this.....

[dvd1955]

I just tell everybody I'm getting taller. What used to grow at the top of my head now only reaches up to my ears, eyebrows and nose.

 

[churchmouse]

I am NOT clicking on that!

Well thats my good buddy Chock and I am not going there either.

 

[Tanfodude]

Wait till you have one on your pubes.

 

[Snapdragon]

 

[jbombelli]

I once woke up after a dream, and immediately got mad. I realized that not only was Ron still alive, I didn't have a nice new Benelli shotgun in my closet.

I'm my dream, I was walking out of a drug store, and this guy I knew, Ron, who was such an idiot that everyone called him MoRon, walked up and pointed a Benelli at me. So I drew the 1911 I didn't own, and shot him. He dropped the Benelli and ran off. I picked it up and said "sweet, I have a new Benelli...", walked home, put it in my closet and went to bed. Then I woke up.

 

[churchmouse]

I once woke up after a dream, and immediately got mad. I realized that not only was Ron still alive, I didn't have a nice new Benelli shotgun in my closet.

I'm my dream, I was walking out of a drug store, and this guy I knew, Ron, who was such an idiot that everyone called him MoRon, walked up and pointed a Benelli at me. So I drew the 1911 I didn't own, and shot him. He dropped the Benelli and ran off. I picked it up and said "sweet, I have a new Benelli...", walked home, put it in my closet and went to bed. Then I woke up.

HHhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[femurphy77]

Stinkwell Dingleberry Festival - Discussion on Topix

Ain't gonna happen. No Sir! Ain't gonna happen.

 

[Old Syko]

Indy, Indy, Indy, since no-one seemingly ever filled you in on the ways of things I'll take the time to help. Did you ever see that little pop off valve on a butterball turkey? Well this is yours. On the turkey it signifies the turkey is done. In human terms it signifies that it is time to start. To begin with you need to call your doctor to set up an appointment to have your water tight seal broken. This entails the use of a large latex or plastic glove and if you pay him a little extra, a good amount of KY jelly. (Pay him plenty!!!) In order to understand this better, Google veterinary cow pregnancy check and watch the videos. Once this is complete you are to be scheduled for a little early morning follow up but with this one you will be offered an absolutely fascinating liquid dinner the night before. For this little endeavor you will be examined by someone you've likely never met before but must trust in ways you've never imagined until now. This individual will let you take a little nap and when you awaken he will hand you some of the most amazing pictures you could never have imagined and he will then offer to shake your hand before he disappears. DON'T DO IT! This man is NOT your friend. You will find out later, what he did involved a TV camera duct taped to a telephone pole. I assure you there is much more and much worse to come later but this may be all you can handle for now. So when you feel strong enough to handle more truths such as this lemme know and I will fill you in.

GETTING OLD IS NOT FOR THE WEAK. Be strong and live long.

 

[BugI02]

You failed to mention the TRUE curse of aging - runaway ear hair growth

 

[DoggyDaddy]

I've thought about letting my ear hair grow out and comb it over. I thought I was losing my hair, but in reality, it's just relocated.

You failed to mention the TRUE curse of aging - runaway ear hair growth

Oh, it's been mentioned...

 

[Expat]

The grey has pretty much took over the chest area completely... I grew out a beard last year and it was pretty Santa-ish... the head is just about all grey now...

 

[1DOWN4UP]

The gray wild hair curse is upon me.Is the less hair to comb,and more face to wash curse coming?

 

[thunderchicken]

Indy, Indy, Indy, since no-one seemingly ever filled you in on the ways of things I'll take the time to help. Did you ever see that little pop off valve on a butterball turkey? Well this is yours. On the turkey it signifies the turkey is done. In human terms it signifies that it is time to start. To begin with you need to call your doctor to set up an appointment to have your water tight seal broken. This entails the use of a large latex or plastic glove and if you pay him a little extra, a good amount of KY jelly. (Pay him plenty!!!) In order to understand this better, Google veterinary cow pregnancy check and watch the videos. Once this is complete you are to be scheduled for a little early morning follow up but with this one you will be offered an absolutely fascinating liquid dinner the night before. For this little endeavor you will be examined by someone you've likely never met before but must trust in ways you've never imagined until now. This individual will let you take a little nap and when you awaken he will hand you some of the most amazing pictures you could never have imagined and he will then offer to shake your hand before he disappears. DON'T DO IT! This man is NOT your friend. You will find out later, what he did involved a TV camera duct taped to a telephone pole. I assure you there is much more and much worse to come later but this may be all you can handle for now. So when you feel strong enough to handle more truths such as this lemme know and I will fill you in.

GETTING OLD IS NOT FOR THE WEAK. Be strong and live long.

So since you have to pay the Dr to give you the extra K-Y and will no doubt be violating you with the rubber glove treatment, I just gotta ask...does the Dr at least buy you dinner or something? Or is this more of a wham bam thank you now pay up deal?

 

[Alpo]

HHhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

The mind is a terrible thing, Church.

 

[Alpo]

It's a good indication you are no longer prime breeding material. In light of the above, I offer you the following: I have it on good authority that having a few $100 bills in a visible shirt pocket will allow women to consider you mildly sexually attractive.

 

[Old Syko]

So since you have to pay the Dr to give you the extra K-Y and will no doubt be violating you with the rubber glove treatment, I just gotta ask...does the Dr at least buy you dinner or something? Or is this more of a wham bam thank you now pay up deal?

Actually the dinner is the night before and all liquid as I mentioned. Ever had a really fine wine that had turned? That ain't even close.

 

[Old Syko]

It's a good indication you are no longer prime breeding material. In light of the above, I offer you the following: I have it on good authority that having a few $100 bills in a visible shirt pocket will allow women to consider you mildly sexually attractive.

I've met Indy. Never seen a shirt with a pocket big enough to hold that many hundies.

 

[Snapdragon]

It's a good indication you are no longer prime breeding material. In light of the above, I offer you the following: I have it on good authority that having a few $100 bills in a visible shirt pocket will allow women to consider you mildly sexually attractive.

If that's what it takes to get her, then she's not worth it.

 

[Dead Duck]

If that's what it takes to get her, then she's not worth it.

Ya but some are cheaper than that.
It just depends where you go.

 

[thunderchicken]

Actually the dinner is the night before and all liquid as I mentioned. Ever had a really fine wine that had turned? That ain't even close.

Dang liquid diet meal that tastes worse than bad wine...can you at least chase it with a frosty Coors light? So when do they start this molestation?