I understand PERFECTLY!!!
2009 - 2011 were the most painful years of my life. In 2009 it started with frequent headaches. Then around the beginning of 2010, it changed to migraines. One every month or so. Buy by May 2010, I was having 4-5 completely debilitating migraines a week.
I was out of the office a ton and even when I was there, I was still out of wack from the previous day. Mine would start within 30 minutes or so from waking up and last until the evening.
I went to a LOT of doctors in here in the NE part of the state. Most of them thought that I was making it up and it was a physiological issue. But it was real excruciating pain. I have completely blown out both of my knees through the years. Once so badly that my lower leg was turned 90 degrees to the right from my upper leg. That pain is only a fraction of what the migraines were. It was like someone had a giant balloon inside my head. And every time my heart would beat, that balloon would get so big it was crushing my brain inside my own skull.
I perfectly understand what they mean my "suicide headache". There were times I would think that I would not be upset at all if whatever I was going through killed me. But then I would think of what that would do to my wife and my son, and I would regret that thought. It was the most surreal experience I have been through. Because of the insane amount of pain that is so frequent, you want to die, but you don't want to die.....at the exact same time.
After getting nowhere with the local doctors, my manager at the time suggested Mayo Clinic. Apparently the wife of a co-worker had some real serious and puzzling issues that the local docs could not figure out. Mayo figured it out and got her back on track.
I went to Mayo and spent 3 1/2 weeks with non stop tests every single day.
No cancer, brain tumors, or any of the typical causes.
For some unknown reason, which Mayo still cannot explain to this day, my blood pressure was all messed up. But only during my migraines. Like beyond anything that should be possible / I should have been dead long ago messed up. I was testing at something like around 200 / 120 something. Can't remember the exact numbers now. I just remember the first time they tested me the used a machine and thought it was broken. When they got the same things using the old cuff pump and stethoscope, they were speechless.
Using some testing equipment strapped to me or several days, they found out that it was only while I was awake during those migraines. When I slept, my blood pressure was almost textbook perfect at something like 121 / 79. And awake, but without migraines was only slightly higher. But at that point, the migraines were more on than off. So they determined that it was not something physical that was causing the pressure spike. Otherwise, it would last all the time. They said it had to be a chemical problem, but they could not figure out what that was.
Apparently this is not all that uncommon. I was told they often see men in their 30's with no prior history in the same circumstances as me. And their solution was not all the fancy either. According to Mayo, they don't even know why for sure that this works. They have guesses, but they have not been able to scientifically prove them. They ended up putting me on a daily mega dose (I think that is what they called it) of Propranolol. It's my understanding it's a very old blood pressure med. I take 120mg each morning and another before bed. 240mg a day. I was told that it was not an immediate cure. But they found that frequently, especially after 6 months or so, most men in my situation see significant relief.
Unfortunately, they were not wrong on the timing. A quick fix would have been much better. But now, I don't care. I have been migraine free for 4 years now! Not a single migraine since 2011. On occasion I will have a regular headache. But NOTHING like those migraines. This experience has completely changed my perspective on pain and how it can mess with your whole life and your families life.
DO NOT GIVE UP looking for help and looking at 2nd, 3rd or 4th opinions. And there are several medical centers here in the US that could be options if needed. I highly recommend Mayo in Minnesota. Because they house all their centers there on one campus, they can schedule you in to get multiple tests done in a very short period of time and get you back home. There is also Carrick Brain Centers, John Hopkins, Cleveland Clinic, and several other good facilities nationwide that can help.
Best wishes and hopes for you.
2009 - 2011 were the most painful years of my life. In 2009 it started with frequent headaches. Then around the beginning of 2010, it changed to migraines. One every month or so. Buy by May 2010, I was having 4-5 completely debilitating migraines a week.
I was out of the office a ton and even when I was there, I was still out of wack from the previous day. Mine would start within 30 minutes or so from waking up and last until the evening.
I went to a LOT of doctors in here in the NE part of the state. Most of them thought that I was making it up and it was a physiological issue. But it was real excruciating pain. I have completely blown out both of my knees through the years. Once so badly that my lower leg was turned 90 degrees to the right from my upper leg. That pain is only a fraction of what the migraines were. It was like someone had a giant balloon inside my head. And every time my heart would beat, that balloon would get so big it was crushing my brain inside my own skull.
I perfectly understand what they mean my "suicide headache". There were times I would think that I would not be upset at all if whatever I was going through killed me. But then I would think of what that would do to my wife and my son, and I would regret that thought. It was the most surreal experience I have been through. Because of the insane amount of pain that is so frequent, you want to die, but you don't want to die.....at the exact same time.
After getting nowhere with the local doctors, my manager at the time suggested Mayo Clinic. Apparently the wife of a co-worker had some real serious and puzzling issues that the local docs could not figure out. Mayo figured it out and got her back on track.
I went to Mayo and spent 3 1/2 weeks with non stop tests every single day.
No cancer, brain tumors, or any of the typical causes.
For some unknown reason, which Mayo still cannot explain to this day, my blood pressure was all messed up. But only during my migraines. Like beyond anything that should be possible / I should have been dead long ago messed up. I was testing at something like around 200 / 120 something. Can't remember the exact numbers now. I just remember the first time they tested me the used a machine and thought it was broken. When they got the same things using the old cuff pump and stethoscope, they were speechless.
Using some testing equipment strapped to me or several days, they found out that it was only while I was awake during those migraines. When I slept, my blood pressure was almost textbook perfect at something like 121 / 79. And awake, but without migraines was only slightly higher. But at that point, the migraines were more on than off. So they determined that it was not something physical that was causing the pressure spike. Otherwise, it would last all the time. They said it had to be a chemical problem, but they could not figure out what that was.
Apparently this is not all that uncommon. I was told they often see men in their 30's with no prior history in the same circumstances as me. And their solution was not all the fancy either. According to Mayo, they don't even know why for sure that this works. They have guesses, but they have not been able to scientifically prove them. They ended up putting me on a daily mega dose (I think that is what they called it) of Propranolol. It's my understanding it's a very old blood pressure med. I take 120mg each morning and another before bed. 240mg a day. I was told that it was not an immediate cure. But they found that frequently, especially after 6 months or so, most men in my situation see significant relief.
Unfortunately, they were not wrong on the timing. A quick fix would have been much better. But now, I don't care. I have been migraine free for 4 years now! Not a single migraine since 2011. On occasion I will have a regular headache. But NOTHING like those migraines. This experience has completely changed my perspective on pain and how it can mess with your whole life and your families life.
DO NOT GIVE UP looking for help and looking at 2nd, 3rd or 4th opinions. And there are several medical centers here in the US that could be options if needed. I highly recommend Mayo in Minnesota. Because they house all their centers there on one campus, they can schedule you in to get multiple tests done in a very short period of time and get you back home. There is also Carrick Brain Centers, John Hopkins, Cleveland Clinic, and several other good facilities nationwide that can help.
Best wishes and hopes for you.
