Talk to your kids!

[chtheo]

This morning I was getting ready to take my 10yr old daughter downtown to perform with her choir (ICC) at the Indianapolis Arts Garden.

As I was donning my holster and pistol, she asks me if I "really have to carry my gun today" To this I responded quickly "yes". My answer was immediate and definitive so she knew the discussion was over.

It took us about 15 minutes from that point to finish getting ready and load up in the truck. During that time, I couldn't help but reflect on the exchange. I have 3 daughters and they grew up around guns. They have all shot my guns, have their own guns and and have aided in the cleaning process. I was trying to figure out why she was uncomfortable with me carrying my pistol!?

When we finally got on the road I took the opportunity to bring this issue up. I told her that I really appreciated her feelings and her ability to express her concerns. I asked her if she was uncomfortable with me carrying my pistol. She answered by stating that she just didn't understand why I needed it, especially in a place with so many kids.

I also asked if she felt afraid or had any safety concerns with me carrying (keep in mind I am 38 and have been carrying since I was legally allowed, so this is nothing new to her) She told me there were no safety concerns and was not afraid. She was just uncomfortable with me carrying because she didn't understand WHY, and she doesn't see any other 'parents' doing the same.

I went on to explain that it is my duty as her father to make sure her mother and her 2 sisters are protected. I further explained that if someone wished to cause any of the other kids harm at this event, it would also be my responsibility to protect anyone who could not protect themselves. I told her that I take this responsibility very seriously and train on a regular basis. I also took out my LTCH and gave it to her to read. I explained that I am legally allowed to carry and I feel more people should.

I simply took it for granted that my children knew these things, and I wished I had this conversation sooner. After we talked I saw this giant "weight" lift off her shoulders. It was as if she had been carrying this great burden and now it was gone.

Take the time to talk to your kids! I know when my other two get home, we will be having the same discussion.

Thanks for listening INGO, and I'm sorry this is so long, but I didn't have the time to make it shorter!

-chtheo

 

[HamsterStyle]

Well put. I actually had a very similar conversation with my 9 year old son and my 30 year old sister last week.

 

[Sylvain]

She was just uncomfortable with me carrying because she didn't understand WHY, and she doesn't see any other 'parents' doing the same.

I think most parents that carry around other kids do it concealed, you really dont have any good way to know if other parents are carrying unless you know them and know that carry.Or unless they are printing really bad of course.

 

[chtheo]

I think most parents that carry around other kids do it concealed, you really dont have any good way to know if other parents are carrying unless you know them and know that carry.Or unless they are printing really bad of course.

Agreed, as do I. And I explained that as well.

Now, she's looking at everyone's belt line for printing. LOL

 

[TheDude]

Its really a good conversation to have once they understand discretion. You dont want your 4 to 7 year old announcing to the world your armed....well I dont.

 

[LarryC]

+1 to the OP, I think its great that you took the time and effort to completely allay her concerns. I no longer have this problem (unless I need to explain to my Great Grandchildren. She also has the information necessary to explain to her friends (if necessary) why her father carries a weapon.

 

[Sylvain]

Agreed, as do I. And I explained that as well.

Now, she's looking at everyone's belt line for printing. LOL

I just assume that 100% of the people I see in the street are armed (guns, knives or any other deadly weapon) so it doesn't really matter if I can see any of them actually printing.
I see them therefore they are armed.
You have a large number of people who carry legally, you have some people who carry illegally as well, so that leaves a few number of people unarmed in the street.

Also keep in mind that since you are carrying a gun on your person there is a gun present no matter where you go and it could fall into the wrong hands.
No matter where you go people have a gun at hand's reach, yours.
Of course that's where your weapon retentions techniques and training come to play to make sure that YOUR gun stays in YOUR hands.
By you carrying the people you meet daily are potentially armed with your own gun if they are not already carrying their own.

Just something to keep in mind and a good reason to practice weapon retention techniques and situation awareness.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

It seems I have to have this conversation with my wife every now and again--still!

Sounds like to did a good job.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

It seems I have to have this conversation with my wife every now and again--still!

Sounds like to did a good job.

 

[Glock10MM]

Good job chtheo.

Its really a good conversation to have once they understand discretion. You dont want your 4 to 7 year old announcing to the world your armed....well I dont.

Agreed.

 

[chtheo]

I just assume that 100% of the people I see in the street are armed (guns, knives or any other deadly weapon) so it doesn't really matter if I can see any of them actually printing.
I see them therefore they are armed.
You have a large number of people who carry legally, you have some people who carry illegally as well, so that leaves a few number of people unarmed in the street.

Also keep in mind that since you are carrying a gun on your person there is a gun present no matter where you go and it could fall into the wrong hands.
No matter where you go people have a gun at hand's reach, yours.
Of course that's where your weapon retentions techniques and training come to play to make sure that YOUR gun stays in YOUR hands.
By you carrying the people you meet daily are potentially armed with your own gun if they are not already carrying their own.

Just something to keep in mind and a good reason to practice weapon retention techniques and situation awareness.

Thank you Sylvain, those are very good points.

 

[WC Deer Hunter]

Good job. A lot of people don't even know what their kids look like these days let alone talk to them.

 

[Raskolnikov]

Excellent post, chtheo! Your kids are lucky to have such a responsible father. Your family should be proud!

 

[chtheo]

Excellent post, chtheo! Your kids are lucky to have such a responsible father. Your family should be proud!

Thank you. That means a lot.

 

[churchmouse]

My kids (all adults now) grew up around firearms. They knew what they were, what they were capable of and were taught to use them safely. They were and still are being taught to use them defensively. Now we are dealing with the grand kids and the cycle continues.

 

[SmileDocHill]

Let her know at least 2 other people in that audience were armed, myself and someone I saw with an ankle holster printing (unless that person was you). There was also a guy in a "NRA" hat in the front row. I didn't see him printing but chances are at least decent that he was carrying.

I make a point to frequently let my kids see me put my gun in my pocket or belt depending on the carry method so it is just assumed it is with me. I put it on with the same body language as though I'm putting my wallet in my pocket or pen in my shirt and don't give off vibes like I'm gearing up for a deployment.

When I take my kids to the range I always try to let them see me draw my carry gun and go through a couple magazines. I think this is important because if they never see it in action it is harder to respect what it is able to do. To a young person it can be difficult to grasp a concept by just being told. Seeing or doing something is an entirely different level of understanding. The first time I did that really solidified this practice for me. We'd been shooting .22's the entire time but I let them know I was going to go through some rounds on the one I carry before I left. They had the same "it is no big deal we see that thing all the time" body language until I started shooting it. Their change in body language made it clear that they looked at it differently. This is no replacement for the safety conversations or simply always having them locked up unless it is on your person but it does take away some of the mystery.

BTW, did you see that poor kid that passed out? I was impressed at the professional response by the staff of ICC.

 

[chtheo]

Let her know at least 2 other people in that audience were armed, myself and someone I saw with an ankle holster printing (unless that person was you). There was also a guy in a "NRA" hat in the front row. I didn't see him printing but chances are at least decent that he was carrying.

I make a point to frequently let my kids see me put my gun in my pocket or belt depending on the carry method so it is just assumed it is with me. I put it on with the same body language as though I'm putting my wallet in my pocket or pen in my shirt and don't give off vibes like I'm gearing up for a deployment.

When I take my kids to the range I always try to let them see me draw my carry gun and go through a couple magazines. I think this is important because if they never see it in action it is harder to respect what it is able to do. To a young person it can be difficult to grasp a concept by just being told. Seeing or doing something is an entirely different level of understanding. The first time I did that really solidified this practice for me. We'd been shooting .22's the entire time but I let them know I was going to go through some rounds on the one I carry before I left. They had the same "it is no big deal we see that thing all the time" body language until I started shooting it. Their change in body language made it clear that they looked at it differently. This is no replacement for the safety conversations or simply always having them locked up unless it is on your person but it does take away some of the mystery.

BTW, did you see that poor kid that passed out? I was impressed at the professional response by the staff of ICC.

Thanks SDH, and yes I did see that kid. He pretty much went face first on the tile floor. I too was impressed with the very quick response by the staff. Also by Ms Dwyer for letting the other kids stop and open their vests to cool off.