TEXAS DEPUTY SHERIFF EXAM

[redneckmedic]

THE OFFICIAL TEXAS DEPUTY SHERIFF EXAM

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West

Texas Sheriff's Department.

After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview. The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test",

that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son." Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:

* six illegal aliens,
* six lawyers,
* six meth dealers,
* six Muslim extremists, and
* a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant. "Great attitude son. You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"

 

[starbreather]

Thats hilarious, thanks for sharing.

 

[femurphy77]

I PASSED! I PASSED!!

 

[Kedric]

LOL good one. I think most of us would pass. Maybe they need a bunch of new sheriffs....

 

[Suprtek]

I just thought they were making the new guy get lunch...

 

[sepe]

LOL good one. I think most of us would pass. Maybe they need a bunch of new sheriffs....

Unless the meth dealers, Muslim extremists, and illegal aliens were all lawyers, I don't know that I'd pass. Extreme Christians have been at least as annoying as Muslim extremists in my daily life, I've met some really decent illegal aliens, and I don't surround myself with meth heads or dealers...so it would probably just be the lawyers getting smoked.

 

[revsaxon]

Yup... sounds about right.

Yay Texas!

 

[aaron580]

Nobody messes with texas! I plan on moving there one day. Thats the funniest thing ive read all day!

 

[sepe]

Nobody messes with texas! I plan on moving there one day. Thats the funniest thing ive read all day!

Don't Mess With Texas isn't as romantic as it seems if you know where it came from. It is about not littering.

 

[redneckmedic]

Unless the meth dealers, Muslim extremists, and illegal aliens were all lawyers, I don't know that I'd pass. Extreme Christians have been at least as annoying as Muslim extremists in my daily life, I've met some really decent illegal aliens, and I don't surround myself with meth heads or dealers...so it would probably just be the lawyers getting smoked.

 

[gungirl65]

Personally I would probably only be able to shoot 2 of the 5, the
* six meth dealers,
* six Muslim extremists

However that doesn't keep me from sharing this joke a friend sent me over the weekend.

A Californian and an Arizonian were Elk hunting in the Hualapai
Mountains when an illegal alien runs across a clearing.

The Arizonian takes careful aim, shoots, and kills him.

"You can't do that!" cried the Californian. No... Remember this is a
Red State, it's legal here in Arizona " replies the Arizonian.

Later that night the Californian goes to Kingman to buy some beer from
Wal-Mart. He puts the beer on the roof of his truck and while he's
making room behind the seat, an illegal alien runs by, grabs the beer,
and runs away.

The Californian thinks "No problem" draws his pistol, shoots, and kills
him.

As he is retrieving his beer the police come and arrest him.

"But I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Arizona !"
protests the Californian.

"Well yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use bait."

 

[gungirl65]

Don't Mess With Texas isn't as romantic as it seems if you know where it came from. It is about not littering.

That's better than what I thought you were going to say. I thought maybe you were going to say the people were "dirty" and that's why we shouldn't mess with them.

 

[Hoosier Cowboy]

Love it!!!!!!!

 

[BE Mike]

Unless the meth dealers, Muslim extremists, and illegal aliens were all lawyers, I don't know that I'd pass. Extreme Christians have been at least as annoying as Muslim extremists in my daily life, I've met some really decent illegal aliens, and I don't surround myself with meth heads or dealers...so it would probably just be the lawyers getting smoked.

 

[IndyDave1776]

Unless the meth dealers, Muslim extremists, and illegal aliens were all lawyers, I don't know that I'd pass. Extreme Christians have been at least as annoying as Muslim extremists in my daily life, I've met some really decent illegal aliens, and I don't surround myself with meth heads or dealers...so it would probably just be the lawyers getting smoked.

How many of them consider it their religious duty to kill you?