Things you may hear from a Klingon Programmer

[dburkhead]

Shamelessly stolen from another conference.


12 Things you may overhear...
...if you have a Klingon Programmer.

12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"

11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need quad i7 processors if I am to do battle with this code!"

10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon."

9 ) "Indentation? I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"

8 ) "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes', leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in it's wake."

7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters', they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."

6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak."

5) "I have challenged the entire SQA team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again."

4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"

3) "By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!"

2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!"

1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"

 

[Fletch]

This post is epic beyond words.

 

[Pami]

This post is epic beyond words.

I so completely agree.

 

[lovemywoods]

I'm strangely fascinated by this post and repulsed at the same time!!
Could it be that I'm struggling with my own inner geekiness?

 

[JetGirl]

This post is epic beyond words.

How long did it take you to print it up, frame it, and hang it in your office??

 

[EvilleDoug]

If it was "You might be a redneck if..." I might understand, but .



I guess liking girls when I was young stunted intellectually !

 

[printcraft]

Nothing about Tribbles anywhere in that.

We all know Klingons hate Tribbles. (and Tribbles hate Klingons)

 

[Fletch]

How long did it take you to print it up, frame it, and hang it in your office??

 

[JetGirl]

Pics of it on your wall!

 

[Fletch]

Pics of it on your wall!

Well, the whistleface was because I actually considered it, not because I did it.

 

[JetGirl]

Well, the whistleface was because I actually considered it, not because I did it.

Whatever you gotta tell yourself...

 

[SKSnut]

This post is epic beyond words.

i was looking for the right words when i found them. I'm gonna copy and past this-hiliarious

 

[Roadie]