Tried to get my wife involved

[CavMedic]

So I was talking to wife about shooting sports and just generally trying to get her interested and the conversation went something like this:
Me:So do you want to go to the range with me?

Wife:No, I dont like guns and I am not interested in them at all.

Me: Well, I would like you to have a basic familiarity with them just in case something happens while I am not at home.

Wife:To use a gun don't you have to be kinda far away from the person? (note, she asked while sitting in my lap)

Me: No, I could shoot you from right here...(at this point I realized that my foot had fully inserted itself into my mouth)

Wife: gee...that REALLY makes me want to learn now...

So, how does one recover from this?

 

[dmarsh8]

Do you guys have any female friends or family that is knowledgeable and trained in firearms??

 

[Que]

Show this to her. Only you will know if this is too much, but it's only one suggestion among the many you will get.

[video=youtube_share;NdOcxAjjApw]http://youtu.be/NdOcxAjjApw[/video]

 

[CavMedic]

I hope that guy was found in an alley...

 

[dmarsh8]

very chilling.
this also points out how important it is to have a gun readily available even at home,"during the day,"_____....

 

[the1kidd03]

For many people, especially women, it takes a bit of a "shock factor" for the light bulb to turn on. Most of the violent crime victims I've worked with sadly didn't get that "light bulb experience" except for when it was too late, then they regret being so naïve later on. The same goes for people such as your wife who haven't experienced it. People who have no formal education in firearms are simply conditioned to believe they are bad and dangerous by the media and Hollywood. This develops a subconscious and irrational fear of firearms for many because a simple foundation for fear development is the lack of factual knowledge. We fear that which we don't understand or know nothing about. Then when the only knowledge we do have of something is negative, it develops a fear within us. This is known in psychology as "fear conditioning" because fear is a LEARNED emotion. You don't naturally fear something unless you in one form or another have been taught to in some way, other than the fear of the unknown that is.

This makes people like your wife challenging to varying degrees depending on the person. It sounds like you won't have that challenging of a time with her based on what information you provided. She at least seemed to have a sense of humor about the conversation. It takes time, persistence (but not pushy-ness), and above all else patience on your part. This is where MOST people fail at educating and converting the minds of people who have developed these fears or are otherwise under-educated on the topic. Many gun owners don't have the level of patience needed and wind up becoming pushy in their efforts.

Focus on knowledge for starters. Bring up the topic any chance you can without pushing it into focus, so to speak. Give her as much knowledge as you can to build her confidence in a gun as being nothing more than a machine which does not have a mind of its own. Once she comes to that realization (that the holder is in control of the gun) then you can focus on self-defense based knowledge instead of the gun itself.

This is of course, assuming she's open to discussing the topic to any degree. Sometimes people are not. In those contexts, videos such as the one above and other shocking real life facts often provide the needed spark to open them up to conversation for the sake of learning. A couple points I bring up in my classes are that of police response times compared to length of an attack, videos of violent/random attacks, and explaining the principles of police not having a duty to protect. These key points often provide that pivotal light bulb experience which simply opens their eyes to more conversation and learning.

Hope this helps. I've worked with a LOT of people like your wife. I have yet to meet someone's whose mind cannot change if they are remotely rational. Some, simply want their agenda and will not listen to reason beyond getting what they want. Surprisingly, they are much fewer than people think. The only other thing that is important to understand is that there are some people who MORALLY do not agree with the idea of ANY person even having the ABILITY to take another's life. This is simply a difference in culture and morals often, but it's important to be able to identify this early on. Their mindset will NOT change and it's important to simply demonstrate respect for this perspective once you identify it.

 

[N8RV]

I know my wife. I couldn't drag her, kicking and screaming, to a gun range for training (well, I could, but I'd certainly pay the price.) For something that consequential, it has to be HER idea. Period. She took an NRA Basic Handgun Orientation course over a year ago, and I mistakenly thought the hook was set, and all I had to do was reel her in. Nope. All of my subsequent encouragement and cajoling has been wasted effort.

Now, that's not to say that I can't wear her down a little at a time though. Just as the gentle, babbling brook eventually wears the sharp edges off of hard rocks and makes them smooth, so I gently nudge her now and then to consider training. I think she's coming around ... slowly.

It occurred to me one day that, since shooting is so "my world" to her, she would naturally expect to use MY stuff. It doesn't have to be that way. I ordered a pair of Blackhawk "tactical" pants in her size (or so I thought), explaining that the size and location of pockets would make any training that she might want to do someday a lot easier for holding the needed equipment. Bought her a good belt, too. The pants didn't fit right, and the belt was too big. She sent them back.

To simplify her eventual training, I bought a Glock 17 -- arguably the best handgun for primary training ...

That didn't work. After using it myself for awhile, I took another path. I made her a special holster. Not one of mine, but her very own ...

Still not impressed. Harrumph. Well, let's make it even MORE special ... what girl wouldn't want a little bling on her special holster?

Still no movement toward the range. What else could I do?? Ahah! MORE BLING, naturally. I made her a matching single/double mag holder ...

What woman could resist that?

Now ... I just sit back and wait. In time, the gentle water will wear her down ...

 

[88GT]

Show this to her. Only you will know if this is too much, but it's only one suggestion among the many you will get.

[video=youtube_share;NdOcxAjjApw]http://youtu.be/NdOcxAjjApw[/video]

Or this one. The video is dramatized for television programming, but the audio is the full 911 call.

911 Caller Without Gun in Home Invasion - YouTube

It's also a good example of how dogs aren't enough.

 

[88GT]

Or this one:

DONNA JACKSON 911 CALL - YouTube

 

[DRob]

There is a south Indy chapter of The Well Armed Woman which meets monthly at Beech Grove Firearms. Some women would much rather learn from a stranger or another woman than from their husband.

 

[gregkl]

I agree with the1kidd. I will add, you may take a tack by introducing her to the sport of shooting. There are so many shooting activities that don't involve personal defense situations.

I just did and Appleseed with my wife(a non-shooter) and she really enjoyed it. She is now definitely interested in going to the range and shooting more now that she learned some fundamentals and showed some good improvement in her skills.

Appleseed is all about our history, heritage and learning the art of riflemanship. No scary scenarios, no run and gun, etc. Not that I have any issues with that type of shooting, but I prefer the soft approach for someone who is not really interested or familiar with shooting.

My wife will shoot all of my guns, but she likes shooting a .22.

There will be a time for her to learn personal defense, but for now I am happy that she wants to spend a couple hours with me at the range!

 

[SandyConner]

So I was talking to wife about shooting sports and just generally trying to get her interested and the conversation went something like this:
Me:So do you want to go to the range with me?

Wife:No, I dont like guns and I am not interested in them at all.

Me: Well, I would like you to have a basic familiarity with them just in case something happens while I am not at home.

Wife:To use a gun don't you have to be kinda far away from the person? (note, she asked while sitting in my lap)

Me: No, I could shoot you from right here...(at this point I realized that my foot had fully inserted itself into my mouth)

Wife: gee...that REALLY makes me want to learn now...

So, how does one recover from this?

See if you can find a friend that has a wife that likes to shoot and then go to the range with the other couple.

It worked for me.

 

[SandyConner]

There is a south Indy chapter of The Well Armed Woman which meets monthly at Beech Grove Firearms. Some women would much rather learn from a stranger or another woman than from their husband.

Do you know when they meet?

I suppose I could call the store...

 

[Midwest Chick]

Or this one:

DONNA JACKSON 911 CALL - YouTube

Even though the audio on the link is 11 minutes, the whole thing lasted over 30 before the police actually got there. When seconds count, police are often tens of minutes away. I'd rather be able to defend myself then have to rely on someone who may or may not get there in time.

 

[MCgrease08]

After more than 3 years of asking my wife to shooting with me I had almost given up. Today out of the blue she tells me she's ready to go shooting. It's all about patience.

I even showed her some pictures of a few different guns and she said she liked the looks of the Glock 19. Clearly she has no taste in guns yet, but a major first step none the less.

 

[.356luger]

fortunately for me my father inlaw introduced my wife to guns at a young age and she has her lifetime permit ect. she is home right now probably drinking coffee with my 1911 condition1 within 4 feet of her .

i probably wouldn't go scare tactics with her try some reactive targets? shaving cream cans shoot and see, trade for something she wants to do "lets go to the range and then we can go walk through Nashville and go to dinner"? or what ever she likes. better yet play the iwant to spend more time with you card.

some times shock and awe works but sometimes some good old fashion manipulation is what it takes to get the seed planted lol

 

[manley82]

DRob good call out I think my wife would fall in this category...

 

[Grizhicks]

The Well Armed Woman

The 2 Indianapolis area chapters are:

Central Indiana
meets @ Eagle Creek Pistol Range
2nd Sunday of each month; 1:00-3:00 pm
contact: Shelly Arens - shellyarens@gmail.com

or

IndySouth
meets @ Beech Grove Firearms Range
4th Sunday of each month; 2:00-4:00 pm
contact: Shelia Rosario - sheliarosario58@gmail.com

BTW. I'm going to start going with my wife to Eagle Creek (put shoot seperate from the women), so anyone want to join me is welcome. -- Greg/Grizhicks

 

[indyjs]

Mine will go pistol shooting. We tried trap and the rental gun was too big or her. I bought an adjustable stock cz712 and now she takes me to the range. Mine finds punching holes boring and likes to see a target react when hit

 

[jimmythang]

I was able to get my wife to go once to the range and was just too scared after she fired one round. I didn't push making a return trip again. Recently she inquired on getting her LTCH. I offered to pay for a training course before she did that. She thought that was a good idea. I tried to get her to go with me on a recent trip and she seemed excited but when it was time to go she got nervous again. She is supportive about keeping firearms in the house and I think she wants to take the next step but i am not going to push her. Perhaps a training class that emphasizes safety and training without live fire may be a good start.