TSA Strategies

[dross]

1. Opt out, but sing the Star Spangled Banner while being feel searched.

2. Fall to the ground in feigned agony right after he runs your hand up your leg and accuse him of squeezing your testicles.

3. For a woman or a girl child, swear that they rubbed back and forth. File a sexual harassment complaint.

4. Claim they were making aroused noises while they did the search. Ask for a supervisor and file a complaint.

 

[ArmedProgrammer]

Or wear underwear with "If you can read this, you need to read the 4th Amendment, jackass" Written across your posterior... and choose the scanner.

That's the approach I will take - until I can avoid the situation altogether. That will be accompanied with a letter to Continental/United along with my frequent flier info - telling them why they are losing a customer worth a lot of money to them....

I think that custom TSA message underwear as a form of protest is the way to go. Metallic ink that shows up on the microwave scanner - this could be fun... I've got TONS of ideas for good ones...

 

[BtownBlaster]

I'm all for making the process as difficult as possible for the screener. Make rude comments, stuff ridiculously large plastic phalli down your pants, eat a bag of sliders first and go chemical, whatever.

Seriously, these jokers will never listen to a citizen, we are beneath them and must do as we are told for our own good. If we can make the procedure so traumatic for the screeners that they refuse to do it, then we win. It's just sad that we have to take to such guerrilla tactics.

 

[radonc73]

Maybe pee your pants in line since they will not let you leave it, then refuse the scan, hell pour water on your crotch if you don't want the warmth.

 

[bman1962]

Would you rather have everyone screened or go down with the plane when they finally make an underwear bomb that works?

The terrorists are winning just because they are disrupting our way of life and making the Americans whine.

I say drive if you don't like it that bad.

 

[dross]

Would you rather have everyone screened or go down with the plane when they finally make an underwear bomb that works?

The terrorists are winning just because they are disrupting our way of life and making the Americans whine.

I say drive if you don't like it that bad.

The don't need an underwear bomb, they have a rectal bomb that the screening won't detect.

 

[ArmedProgrammer]

The don't need an underwear bomb, they have a rectal bomb that the screening won't detect.

c'mon Dross, you're just pulling that out of your ...


Actually Bman - I DO fly every week and the TSA is getting worse. I take NO comfort in the TSA screenings. And they are getting far beyond the point of violating the 4th Amendment. As a frequent flier I get on in the first couple of people, I sit in the front, and I conduct my OWN screenings. And if I see someone behaving strangely - it's on like Donkey Kong. Oh and I'm on a first name basis with the flight crews.

Might someone get by that and somehow the plane go down? Maybe - but passenger vigilance trumps warrrantless passenger groping any day of the week.


And as I've said before - drive I shall at the first opportunity.

 

[BtownBlaster]

Would you rather have everyone screened or go down with the plane when they finally make an underwear bomb that works?

The terrorists are winning just because they are disrupting our way of life and making the Americans whine.

I say drive if you don't like it that bad.

Actually, I want to beat the terrorists and get rid of this security circus we have now. These procedures fly in the face of our nation's traditions of personal freedom and liberty, and I shouldn't have to debase myself simply to travel in my own country. I would rather risk a possible terrorist attack than relinquish my rights every time I wish to travel.

 

[lashicoN]

Would you rather have everyone screened or go down with the plane when they finally make an underwear bomb that works?

The terrorists are winning just because they are disrupting our way of life and making the Americans whine.

I say drive if you don't like it that bad.

Humans die. I'd rather be free than safe.

 

[henktermaat]

 

[Tripp11]

Would you rather have everyone screened or go down with the plane when they finally make an underwear bomb that works?

The terrorists are winning just because they are disrupting our way of life and making the Americans whine.

I say drive if you don't like it that bad.

Do you think these terrorists watch the news? They KNOW the tactics currently being utilized now by TSA and they will adapt.

Now, they will insert or ingest bombs into their bodies, and then opt out of the scan and have the pat down...with nothing being detected.

The TSA has and always will be two steps behind.

However, if you feel safer having my wife and child "felt up", then by all means speak your mind. Me, I will drive until this madness stops.

 

[jbombelli]

My strategy is simple. I'm never flying again, lest I lose my temper and smash a TSA agent's Adam's Apple for groping up my kids.

 

[jeremy]

How about letting them do the search and then calling the real Cops and pressing charges for assualt...

 

[ATOMonkey]

Use lead tape to write funny stuff. That will work the best.

 

[Eddie]

I don't fly.

My thoughts on this thread:

-Don't bathe for several days prior to flying. Opt out and make them pat your stinky self down. Might work well with the peeing in your pants suggestion above.

-Dress in only a pair of tight white briefs. Opt out.

-Play dumb and carry a ton of prohibited items, say like 50 pairs of nail clippers. Opt out. Make them search for and locate all of them.

 

[Bill of Rights]

I don't fly.

My thoughts on this thread:

-Don't bathe for several days prior to flying. Opt out and make them pat your stinky self down. Might work well with the peeing in your pants suggestion above.

-Dress in only a pair of tight white briefs. Opt out.

-Play dumb and carry a ton of prohibited items, say like 50 pairs of nail clippers. Opt out. Make them search for and locate all of them.

The white briefs thing is good if you're female. Alternatively, gender-neutral, an adult diaper should be good for some laughs. Only a trenchcoat on over it. This also would work well with both the not-bathing and the peeing your pants suggestions.

Agree in principle with the last one, but I'd say no to the prohibited items. Now, go to Lowe's and buy 2 smooth steel rods, say 3/8" diameter or smaller. Cut it into 2" lengths. At six lengths per foot, two, 6' rods should give you 60-some-odd lengths of metal that a ferrous-metal search should pick up. Opt out. With these harmless rods in your shoes, shirt, cargo pants, sewn into the hems and beltloops, etc., you're not transporting any weapons, prohibited items, or anything actionable. No crime is committed, you're just making the search take a long time. "Why are you carrying these?" Take your choice of answers, "They weight down my shirt so it doesn't ride up.", "No reason.", "Thought they were cool.", "I like to make sure I have plenty of iron.", "Religious custom.", remain silent, or come up with something on your own.

If you have several people traveling together, all of you hit the checkpoint at the same time.

If you do this, make sure everything about you is squeaky clean otherwise, because I'd imagine they will be looking to find anything they can to detain you.

IANAL, TINLA.

Blessings,
Bill

 

[bman1962]

Do you think these terrorists watch the news? They KNOW the tactics currently being utilized now by TSA and they will adapt.

Now, they will insert or ingest bombs into their bodies, and then opt out of the scan and have the pat down...with nothing being detected.

Dang...............now we need to do away with the opting out which is exactly what they want eh?
Add a regular x-ray for just a little bit more radiation and we're all set!

I do agree this entire thing is a real mess. I guess I'm glad my wife and I aren't frequent flyers. Good luck to those who are!!!