Why are parents spineless these days?

[Mosinowner]

I know exactly how you feel. My parents cannot control my older brother

 

[JustAMom]

Fifteen minutes to make 'em, 18 years for retards to screw 'em up. Ay yai yai.[/QUOTE]



15??? Someone owes me 36 minutes!!!!

 

[looney2ns]

Now, don't get me wrong guys, I'm not calling my parents spineless because they have done a lot for me, but my real mom is a prime example of a parent that wants to be a friend instead of a parent. And I'm not angry my little sister gets away with things, I'm more afraid of how she'll act growing up. She won't be able to function properly in society if she keeps this up and it just seems my dad and step mom are reinforcing her bad behaviors by rewarding it.

Way too many parents have this attitude. You are parent, you are suppose to teach and mentor, not be the childs BFF.

I've dealt with the public for over 30 years, and it's obvious, the parenting skills have gone down hill rapidly the past 20yrs.

 

[looney2ns]

When she was about 13 or so, one time she absolutely refused to make her bed and *started* to throw a fit... so I yanked the sheets off and threw them in the washer filling with water.
Hmm...now she had to do the whole thing from scratch with another set or *shrug* have none at all *shrug*.
Didn't take long to realize obeying the first time was way easier.

I executed punishment similar to this, only in my case the sheets would have gone out into the front yard via the window. It was even better if some of the "friends" saw it happen or it was raining. They seemed to need a reminder every 6 months or so.

My neighbor told me years later, he thought it was hilarious when he would see sneakers, toys and what not start flying out of our window.

 

[looney2ns]

Caution language!

[ame]http://youtu.be/31pQOiclaTo[/ame]

 

[eldirector]

Some parents are too busy still being children themselves, and then trying to be their child's friend. Makes for a real mess.

I am my daughter's father first. We can be friends when she is all grown up, but for now she needs a dad.

And I am SERIOUSLY NOT looking forward to those pre-teen and teenage years.

 

[TheDude]

I always liked the advice i got about raising children from people that had no children. Good stuff

 

[FatsMcKay]

Shes ten.

 

[printcraft]

I know exactly how you feel. My parents cannot control my older brother

He is the OP on this thread right?! Dude is out. of. control.

 

[JetGirl]

I always liked the advice i got about raising children from people that had no children. Good stuff

Classic.

 

[Citizen711]

What's up with parents these days? Are they just giving up and being passive so they don't have to deal with their own creations?

Yes. Sadly, that is exactly what's happening.

My kids are just starting to understand that disciplining them was just as hard on me as it was them (yes, the old saying is based in truth). It would have been a *lot* easier to let them slide with a stern "don't do it again" (and another one when they inevitably *did* do it again), but for the most part I stuck to my guns. My kids didn't grow up to be saints by any stretch, but they grew up knowing right from wrong and how to speak to their elders.

 

[Citizen711]

Fifteen minutes to make 'em, 18 years for retards to screw 'em up. Ay yai yai.

15??? Someone owes me 36 minutes!!!!

Lol! Here I was trying to guess how many kids you have, but that was funny no matter the number.

 

[2ADMNLOVER]

However, we live in a society that frowns on discipline. The result - many parents don't discipline because they are afraid to.

Also, our society encourages parents to "let the children develop their own personality". Interpreted - discipline somehow scars them mentally, not allowing them to develop properly. Answer - their parents never taught them about consequences.

Another reason - parents are too selfish. I know that it is in my kids best interest to learn that there are consequences to their actions. It is in their best interest that I discipline them. Do I like disciplining them? Heck no! Many parents choose not to discipline because it makes them feel bad. But they are just being selfish, because they are putting their own feelings above what is necessary to train their child. Raising kids is tough. You have to be determined to do what is right for your kid, even if it makes you feel bad. Many parents just take the easy way out.

Consistency is another one. My kids know that when I say Stop, or Be Quiet - I mean it. I try to be consistent in my discipline no matter how big or small the offence. Many kids keep doing what they are doing because they know the parents won't follow through.

Oh, and kids are smart! They figure the parents out pretty quick.

I think the overarching issue is with blended families. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I grew up with five other brothers and sisters, but my father took responsibility and raised all of us as his own. There was no, my children, your children, just our children.

Physical discipline is not necessary with all children, but boundaries are certainly needed. It sounds like someone is not providing your sister with any limitations, but that's the opinion of someone on the outside with only one part of the story.

Make sure you are acting like an older brother and not the kind of brother that people will even consider he accusations to be true. It sounds like you are known to do things, especially since she can blame you and be believed.

The dilemma of parents today;
If your kid is a brat and needs disciplined, you are a horrible parent for not disciplining them!
If your kid is a brat and needs disciplined, you are a horrible parent for disciplining them!

Kid turned out bad? Your fault because you never spanked them.
Kid turned out bad? Your fault because you spanked them.

Kid acting up in the store? OMG spank that brat, you horrible spineless parent!
Kid acting up in the store? OMG if you spank that brat, I'll call 911 & CPS on you!

Get the gist?

Personally,
My kid was a trouper and never gave me fits in stores or restaurants. I dragged her everywhere...she just knew what was expected "Or else". Although I did smack a butt as a last resort for some things, I used tactics that worked better first. Things that REALLY hurt...like no going to the park, or no TV, or no playdates over...stuff like that.

Age appropriate punishment stuff.

When she was about 13 or so, one time she absolutely refused to make her bed and *started* to throw a fit... so I yanked the sheets off and threw them in the washer filling with water.
Hmm...now she had to do the whole thing from scratch with another set or *shrug* have none at all *shrug*.
Didn't take long to realize obeying the first time was way easier.

All the above !

Revisit this thread when you're a parent and tell us what you think.

Then again there's this valid point .

When it comes to kids I'm a NUN . Ain't got nun , don't want nun , don't want anybody else to have nun .

Kids are great , as long as I can go home when your annoying little bastard gets on my nerves .

 

[Mosinguy]

It would have been a *lot* easier to let them slide with a stern "don't do it again" (and another one when they inevitably *did* do it again),

Or in the case of my sister...again...again...again..again..again...again...again all while she's smiling about not listening to instructions and knowing she can get away with anything. And then she gets rewarded either to coerce her to act right for a little while or for finally stopping under her own power


Me on the other hand after the first "don't do it again" I'd have lost everything and probably called a dumbass or worthless by my stepmom.

 

[sadclownwp]

sounds like a case for beating your children early and often.

 

[Mosinguy]

Oh and by the way, some of you may remember the thread where my dad won't bother to train or get rid of his aggressive dog. Discipline is not prevalent here and luckily I don't need it to act right.

 

[JetGirl]

sounds like a case for beating your children early and often.

 

[j706]

How do you keep from punching them in the face? Seriously. I can't ever even imagine being so inept, or having a child so rambunctious I had to even threaten to, let alone actually call, the police. Crikey, I only have to give my son "the look" or say his name "that way" and all shenanigans come to an immediate halt.

Therein lies the problem. Fifteen minutes to make 'em, 18 years for retards to screw 'em up. Ay yai yai.

Sometimes it is tough to keep from saying things that would be frowned on by the admin. It is also tough to have any respect for a grown adult that dials 911 for such nonsense. IMO most of these types of kids don't stand a chance. It is sad.

 

[Rookie]

Oh and by the way, some of you may remember the thread where my dad won't bother to train or get rid of his aggressive dog. Discipline is not prevalent here and luckily I don't need it to act right.

Being disrespectful isn't acting right.

 

[Caleb]

Societity dictates that disciplining your child(aka; spanking) is bad, and children learn this.