Wife not comfortable with me carrying.

[ArcadiaGP]

If she loves you, she'll deal with it.

When I started carrying, that was the beginning thoughts... "Oh, why don't you cover it up..." "you don't need that..."

etc.

Response was essentially "Deal with it."

Now, she has a firearm, and even carries occasionally. Loves to shoot.

 

[eldirector]

I've shared my experience with open carry many times, and I'll do so again. Maybe it will help ease your wife's concerns a bit.

The vast majority of folks don't even notice I am carrying (even openly). Of those few that do notice, most don't say a word. Of those that must say something, most simply ask if it is a "Glock" (it isn't.). I have yet to get anything I would consider "negative". I've actually had some nice conversations with folks (even cops).

I have open carried while speaking in front of a group of 200+ people. I know for a fact that the entire audience new I was armed. Several folks commented among themselves (I overheard a few women mentioning to their husband/boyfriend "he has a gun", and the men replying "So, what?"). Not a single person mentioned anything to me, and the evening went off without a hitch. I also know about a dozen other folks (at the very least) were concealing, so I was in good company!

If you are carrying concealed, I wouldn't be worried one bit. She really shouldn't either. The chances of a negative encounter are incredibly slim (in my experience).

That said, if you and her discuss how you are PREPARED for a negative encounter, she might be more comfortable. Have some "responses" ready for when someone may challenge you. Remind her that you are a good guy, and that's why she married you.

Then, just carry. She'll get used to it!

 

[lucky4034]

Leave your wife at home. WAIT... I mean your gun...

Oh yeah... I mean your wife

 

[Rikkrack]

Just my assumption, but you do have your little pink pass to carry correct? It was never stated. Didn't know it that was the concern.

 

[KLB]

My wife was about the same when I started carrying. I would just carry when we went out, most of the time she wouldn't even realize it.

I got the same reaction when I started carrying while at home too. She has gotten used to that now too. Now it sounds like she is getting close to wanting to carry now as well.

Don't give up on it. Explain why you do and I imagine she will get used to it.

 

[Bigtanker]

Ah, the old worry about others. Get a good concealed holster and where it around the house - see if she notices. If she can't, then neither can others.

You'll probably have to ease your way into this one. Try carrying in situations where she will feel comfortable. Once she realizes it's safe and secret, she'll loosen up.

EDIT: Do make sure you let her know you accept and respect her FEELINGS, but respectfully disagree. Try carrying in a place far from home and other - A park perhaps without others around? My wife was fine with my OC in Montana and Idaho, but here in our hometown she throws a fit.

^^^^^^this^^^^^^^^

If it is your choice to cc, NOBODY else besides your wife needs to know. She can help you with the best way to cover it up. A little time and practice, it will be second nature.

Also,if she doesn't want anybody to find out, remind her not to tell ANYBODY.


Good luck.

 

[satchmo72]

Guys, besides the sammich comment (which would get me de-balled) this has been of great help. I may need to check my resolve about carrying also.

 

[PapaScout]

I carried for 7-8 years before I told my wife. She grew up in a gun-hating family and even though I grew up in a gun-friendly family I wasn't as firm on my stance when we were married in our early twenties.

She flipped, she argured, she debated. She still doesn't like it but she's accepted.

 

[SPUTTER]

Just keep talking to you wife about the idea and situations. My wife still does it today - YOU ARE WHAT - I keep talking and explaining things to her and even offer to take her to the range and sometimes she goes , has a good time, ask a lot of questions and getting more use to the idea.

Next Tuesday I am taking her up to get her LTCH, she asked me, I did not ask her so she is feeling much better. Now getting her to carry might be another question but will be on the agenda when the time comes. My worth.

 

[youngda9]

I carried for 7-8 years before I told my wife...

This dude knows how to conceal !!

Your wife will come around when she realizes that nobody notices a concealed firearm (if done correctly). I've been doing it for 5+ years and nobody knows that I carry outside of my circle of trust.

 

[indysims]

My personal experience:

When I would come home at night and take my gun off/out, my wife would would say "you're carrying your gun?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because."
When I carried and she was with me, I didn't bring it up, but if she felt it, she would ask in the same fashion.
Then came the night we meet friends for dinner downtown. A late walk back to the car with some mildly unusual people walking behind us she whispered "Do you have your gun?"
"Yes."
"Good."

 

[iChokePeople]

My personal experience:

When I would come home at night and take my gun off/out, my would would say "you're carrying your gun?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because."
When I carried and she was with me, I didn't bring it up, but if she felt it, she would ask in the same fashion.
Then came the night we meet friends for dinner downtown. A late walk back to the car with some mildly unusual people walking behind us she whispered "Do you have your gun?"
"Yes."
"Good."

You still owe Printcraft a beer for that, as I recall.

 

[patience0830]

Guys, besides the sammich comment (which would get me de-balled) this has been of great help. I may need to check my resolve about carrying also.

No man card for you!

Tell her if she wants to carry and be responsible for your safety in an armed encounter that you're willing to be kept like that in a fashion to which you could become accustomed .

If you're still worried about your jewels then buy a gun that will fit in an ankle holster and don't tell her about it. And get undressed in the dark.

 

[iChokePeople]

No man card for you!

Tell her if she wants to carry and be responsible for your safety in an armed encounter that you're willing to be kept like that in a fashion to which you could become accustomed .

If you're still worried about your jewels then ... ask her if you can borrow them or just try to sneak them out of her purse while she's sleeping.

FTFY.

 

[Glockowner]

When I first started carrying concealed years ago, my wife did not like it.

In light of recent events, she is happy that I carry. In fact after the Aurora incident she OKed me buying my CM9 that would allow me to carry more easily than my G19.

 

[TTravis]

You mention that you both have been around guns most of our lives, her father is an LEO and rangemaster in a large city. Use this to your advantage. Bring the subject up next time you visit your in-laws.

I would be curious to know, and would be willing to guess: How long have you been married? Do you have kids? Has your wife ever been in a situation where she did not feel safe?

I've been married 25 years and carried most of that time. As you gain experience in marriage and family life, your wife will realise that you are the protector of your family. Ultimately things will happen.... House left open when you return home from a trip. Flat tire on the side of road in bad part of town while on vacation. A fight breaks out in a restaurant or hotel room next door. You wife will eventually say "I am glad you have that gun".

 

[PapaScout]

This dude knows how to conceal !!

Thanks but for full-disclosure I mostly carried when we weren't together. Mostly....

 

[SSGSAD]

Ain't momma happy, ain't nobody happy. Keep momma happy.

This, UNTIL "something" happens, then she will say: I thought YOU were CARRYING ?????
Show her the thread about the guy who got cut, while someone was breaking into his house, while he was at HOME .....

 

[Ted]

......She is more worried about other peoples reactions should they notice that I am carrying.

I dont know that this is a fight I want to take on......

Ask her about other people's reactions, should she or they notice that she or they are being victimized by a violent perpetrator.

It doesn't appear to be a fight, but more a matter of perceived social pressures.

 

[SSGSAD]

My personal experience:

When I would come home at night and take my gun off/out, my would would say "you're carrying your gun?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because."
When I carried and she was with me, I didn't bring it up, but if she felt it, she would ask in the same fashion.
Then came the night we meet friends for dinner downtown. A late walk back to the car with some mildly unusual people walking behind us she whispered "Do you have your gun?"
"Yes."
"Good."

THIS, is exactly, what I am talking about .....