-
Be sure to read this post! Beware of scammers. https://www.indianagunowners.com/threads/classifieds-new-online-payment-guidelines-rules-paypal-venmo-zelle-etc.511734/
Wife not interested...
- Thread starter SnakeDoctor
- Start date
The #1 community for Gun Owners in Indiana
Member Benefits:
Fewer Ads! Discuss all aspects of firearm ownership Discuss anti-gun legislation Buy, sell, and trade in the classified section Chat with Local gun shops, ranges, trainers & other businesses Discover free outdoor shooting areas View up to date on firearm-related events Share photos & video with other members ...and so much more!
Member Benefits:
At first my wife was totally against guns and having any in the house. I got her past that stage and she even agreed to go to the range after some discussion. I just ask my wife to go to the range once a year. She is not ever going to carry a gun, but I at lease want he to be familiar with using one if the time ever came when one was needed.
Look for the next time ISD is offering the "Introduction to Firearms" class. It's specifically designed for people who are either against or "on the fence" about firearms and/or defensive use of them.
https://www.indianagunowners.com/fo...s/223557-prepper-store-east-side-indy-61.html
https://www.indianagunowners.com/fo...s/223557-prepper-store-east-side-indy-61.html
My spousal unit was never a fan of guns. She didn't mind me having them, just got irritated with me if I left one lying where it didn't belong (which meant anywhere in her sight.)
One day, I came home with a flyer about a local NRA Basic Handgun Orientation class being offered. I realized that, while I'd pretty much grown up with guns and felt relatively comfortable using them, I had never had any formal instruction. What could it hurt? So, I took the flyer home and just asked her if we had any plans for that coming Saturday. When she spied the flyer, she took it from me, scanned it and said, "And I suppose you want me to go to this?"
I replied, "No, it's for ME. I've never had any real instruction, and thought that it might be worth my time. I'm sure I can learn something about safety or improve my shooting skills."
She looked at the flyer again and asked, "Will there be snacks?" I called and was told that we had an hour for lunch. She said, "I'm in."
She paid attention, asked questions, learned how to assess the condition of a gun she may happen upon and how to make it safe, as well as got a chance to fire three different handguns. It was a great investment of time and money.
The next day during dinner, she was staring at the open front door of our house. For years I have chided her for leaving it open, with just the storm door as a barrier. She always just rolled her eyes at me. I asked her what she was staring at.
"I finally get it," she said. "Someone could just waltz through the front door and there's nothing we could do to stop them." After a little more discussion about home security, she declared, "I think we need to keep a gun in the kitchen somewhere."
While she hasn't accepted my repeated offers to take her to the range or enroll her in any defensive handgun classes, it's just a matter of time. Because of who she is, the harder I push, the more she will resist. It has to be HER idea. She'll come around ... in time.
If you can take a really basic safety/shooting class with her (your wife, not mine), she may have her own revelation. Good luck!
One day, I came home with a flyer about a local NRA Basic Handgun Orientation class being offered. I realized that, while I'd pretty much grown up with guns and felt relatively comfortable using them, I had never had any formal instruction. What could it hurt? So, I took the flyer home and just asked her if we had any plans for that coming Saturday. When she spied the flyer, she took it from me, scanned it and said, "And I suppose you want me to go to this?"
I replied, "No, it's for ME. I've never had any real instruction, and thought that it might be worth my time. I'm sure I can learn something about safety or improve my shooting skills."
She looked at the flyer again and asked, "Will there be snacks?" I called and was told that we had an hour for lunch. She said, "I'm in."
She paid attention, asked questions, learned how to assess the condition of a gun she may happen upon and how to make it safe, as well as got a chance to fire three different handguns. It was a great investment of time and money.
The next day during dinner, she was staring at the open front door of our house. For years I have chided her for leaving it open, with just the storm door as a barrier. She always just rolled her eyes at me. I asked her what she was staring at.
"I finally get it," she said. "Someone could just waltz through the front door and there's nothing we could do to stop them." After a little more discussion about home security, she declared, "I think we need to keep a gun in the kitchen somewhere."
While she hasn't accepted my repeated offers to take her to the range or enroll her in any defensive handgun classes, it's just a matter of time. Because of who she is, the harder I push, the more she will resist. It has to be HER idea. She'll come around ... in time.
If you can take a really basic safety/shooting class with her (your wife, not mine), she may have her own revelation. Good luck!
sempreobie
Plinker
My wife was never interested in shooting, being from Europe were she was never exposed to guns (Italy/England). She has never had an issue with me having any of my guns, as she knows me as a very safety conscious person. She has accepted my invitations to the range a couple of times, where she has shot my Buckmark 22. However, I don't expect her to ever say, "let's go to the gun range today". Some people just don't share the interest for many reasons, and for many, that likely will not change.
How to Make Your Wife Hate Guns | Cornered Cat
It took my wife 13 years of marriage before she went shooting with me the first time. She's been two or three more times since then, she took a pistol class (mine) to do a paper for one of her college classes (you had to do something out of your element) but... it's just not her bag. She knows how to be safe, has occasionally unloaded and transported a gun for me a time or two, is pro-RKBA, but she just isn't into shooting.
Make sure your wife knows she has a standing invitation. Inviter her casually with no strings. Or invite her with the "I'm going shooting from 10-12, you want to go?" Stick to your time schedule if she doesn't want to. If she declines, ask "You want go for lunch when I get back?" You wanting to spend time with her is what she wants from you that doesn't include work on her part.
It took my wife 13 years of marriage before she went shooting with me the first time. She's been two or three more times since then, she took a pistol class (mine) to do a paper for one of her college classes (you had to do something out of your element) but... it's just not her bag. She knows how to be safe, has occasionally unloaded and transported a gun for me a time or two, is pro-RKBA, but she just isn't into shooting.
Make sure your wife knows she has a standing invitation. Inviter her casually with no strings. Or invite her with the "I'm going shooting from 10-12, you want to go?" Stick to your time schedule if she doesn't want to. If she declines, ask "You want go for lunch when I get back?" You wanting to spend time with her is what she wants from you that doesn't include work on her part.
Last edited:
My wife was so scared of guns that she wouldn't even touch them or look at them. Finally, she decided to go to an NRA intro to handgun class at Indy Gun Safety Home. The catch was that she would only go if our two female neighbors went along with us. She wanted women in the class. She did great until we got to the range. She was literally in tears when it was her time to shoot but the owner and instructor, Randy, took some quality one-on-one time with her to help calm and reassure her. After the class she loved it so much that we went back the next day to buy her the Springfield XD-9 she has now.
The trick for her was letting her make her own decision and to have female support around her. With that being said, since you're in my neck of the woods you should check out Indy Gun Safety. Like I said, the owner and instructor really helped her out. And, if your wife would feel better around women they offer women only classes.
The trick for her was letting her make her own decision and to have female support around her. With that being said, since you're in my neck of the woods you should check out Indy Gun Safety. Like I said, the owner and instructor really helped her out. And, if your wife would feel better around women they offer women only classes.
Props to Randy for taking that time with her. I'm surprised she was able to overcome it with an NRA class.
Based on that and my research I would guess she had a mild fear of firearms primarily from lack of experience/knowledge. I wouldn't speculate that she ever had any traumatic experience with firearms to develop her fear because typically those cases are MUCH more severe in fear/reaction. I spent two months working with a lady earlier this year who had a true phobia of firearms before getting her comfortable enough for her to let her husband bring a gun around. So, your wife did pretty well.
SnakeDoctor
Plinker
Thanks for all the great responses and ideas. I'll see if I can talk her into a class to start with.
This actually stands out as key in your story. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it seems that the class made all the difference for your wife. Imagine what it's like for someone who didn't grow up around guns to be with someone who did: she (or he -- there are some ladies who grew up around guns!) is probably a little intimidated, and she also realizes that her spouse may not be the best teacher for her. Some husbands really want their wives to love it or to get good at shooting fast. Most husbands have no experience teaching. Relationship tensions can emerge fast in such a situation. In the intro pistol classes I've taken, the instructor always splits up family members so they can't "teach each other." That must be why.
By comparison to guys, women are much wiser about this sort of stuff. They can wait for the right learning opportunity, because, realistically speaking, the chances a bad guy could waltz through the front door are low, and they have to live with their husbands every single day.
Me? My wife isn't into shooting. That's just not her game. My girlfriend, on the other hand, loves shooting. So meeting on the range is very convenient for us. We do it once or twice a week.
When Wifey and I got married, she saw my cased 22 rifle and said she didn't really like guns. Told her it's for target shooting. About a year later 4 dudes rear ended her car at 12:20 am, and she didn't stop. Drove to the Police Station instead. Officers told her that there was no damage. They also told her that they had received reports for similar crimes, and people got out and got robbed or assaulted.
Next AM, we were in Blythes buying 2 handguns, and signed up for a handgun course. The course taught how to safely clean and load/unload your firearms, how to secure them, and then to the range for basic marksmanship. She actually shot better than me.
On a few days off, we would go to the ranges both indoor and outdoor, and soon realized a passion for shooting. We upgraded to a Beretta 9mm, and a S&W 686, 357 magnum. Yes, she shot the 9mm, and pretty good. Mine was the the 686.
While on duty for a local PD, I use to return home to the smell of Hoppes and home made meatloaf.(no Hoppes in the meatloaf). Wifey would start dinner, and clean the Beretta while baking. No, she is not for lease! After a couple of local "scares", and our 2 sons born, she kinda retired from the shooting. She has self confidence, has learned the good and bad of the firearms world. She retains her LTCH, and hopes it's not needed.
Next AM, we were in Blythes buying 2 handguns, and signed up for a handgun course. The course taught how to safely clean and load/unload your firearms, how to secure them, and then to the range for basic marksmanship. She actually shot better than me.
On a few days off, we would go to the ranges both indoor and outdoor, and soon realized a passion for shooting. We upgraded to a Beretta 9mm, and a S&W 686, 357 magnum. Yes, she shot the 9mm, and pretty good. Mine was the the 686.
While on duty for a local PD, I use to return home to the smell of Hoppes and home made meatloaf.(no Hoppes in the meatloaf). Wifey would start dinner, and clean the Beretta while baking. No, she is not for lease! After a couple of local "scares", and our 2 sons born, she kinda retired from the shooting. She has self confidence, has learned the good and bad of the firearms world. She retains her LTCH, and hopes it's not needed.
ALL you guys are lucky. My GF of 18 yrs is a PHD Psychologist who's mind is unchangeable in regards to guns. There aint no way she wants anything to do with guns and especially hates the fact that I decided on my own volition to have them in the house.
