You have an STD; (How) Do you tell your partner(s)?

[rambone]

Here is a moral dilemma -- a question about the fundamental clash of human instinct and conscience.

Let's say you have a sexually-transmitted disease that will be with you for the rest of your life. Imagine you are single and uncommitted.

On the one hand, the responsible side of you tells you that your partners all deserve to know about your condition. It poses health risks -- albeit slim -- as well as many inconveniences.

On the other hand, you know that telling people whom you meet about your STD will probably scare them away. Your chances of achieving a physical relationship are slim. You battle a great deal despair, loneliness, and envision yourself dying alone. Your instinctive side wants a relationship.

Examine your conscience, what would you do in that situation?

1. Tell people very early in dating that you have the STD. No sex unless they are aware. -- Scare a lot of people away.
2. Postpone sex while dating & reveal the STD after you have gotten to know each other. -- Risk making your partner mad because of waiting to inform / dishonesty.
3. Do not reveal the STD, insist on wearing a condom. Eventually admit the STD.
4. Do not reveal the STD, insist on wearing a condom. Never admit the STD.
5. Never reveal the STD. Take no unusual precautions.
6. Be celibate.

Inspired by this: Thou Shall Not Share Thy Dingus ....

 

[Naptown]

gross. Tell them up front.

 

[lovemachine]

I don't have to vote because I've only been with one person.

 

[Tryin']

See, this is where waiting until I was married really came in handy. 0 chance of exposure, 0 chance of infection. She had the same views.

 

[rhino]

Meh, let 'em find out at the free clinic just like you did.

 

[Benny]

Damn dude, sorry about your luck, but you should have been more responsible.



(Sorry about your luck too, lovemachine )

 

[Benny]

Double tap...Damn slow server.

 

[redneckmedic]

Sorry to hear about your bad news man, use the cream often, never skip a dose of your pills, see your doctor regularly (and blindly listen to everything he/she says) and prayer in bound!

 

[Eddie]

"It's the gift that keeps on giving."

 

[rambone]

Meh. The jokes are predictable and I can take it. I think its an interesting question to consider. Somebody confided me once in this situation. It is more emotionally devastating than anything. That person got the STD from a partner who was sleeping around while in a committed relationship. They broke up, and the person then adopted choice #4. I don't judge that person and I don't think their choice should be illegal either. The other thread I linked to got me thinking and I wanted to see how all of you would live the remainder of your life if you got that kind of news.

 

[patience0830]

growing up

Growing up in the 70's and 80's we didn't think there was anything you could catch that penicillin wouldn't cure. Unfortunately we were wrong.

There is stuff out there now that you can't get rid of with bleach and a brillo pad. Bad part is I'm back in the dating pool and scared straight. No whoopee for me til I find the right girl. And hopefully she won't have an STD and if she does, hopefully she'll vote for the first answer.

 

[trnsplntfrmohio]

The clap, and herpes.. twice..

-The Fonz.

 

[FordMan08]

IBTD

(in before the drip)

 

[Gabriel]

See, this is where waiting until I was married really came in handy. 0 chance of exposure, 0 chance of infection. She had the same views.

I actually find that more disturbing than having an STD.

 

[96firephoenix]

I actually find that more disturbing than having an STD.

Really? I think that anymore, thats the biggest reason TO wait aside from religious reasons.

 

[grimor]

I didn't see the "blame your current partner for being a whore and giving you the STD"

 

[ISHOOTHST'S]

 

[Yamaha]

you need to use this special shampoo and a fine comb......

Never had a problem yet, but its always something to worry about

 

[Knife Lady]

When I worked in healthcare we used to get monthly reports on how many STD's came into the hospital and which ones they were. It is amazing how many people have them and ones you would not suspect at all. Be careful is all I can say. Some of them can lay dormant for years before they pop up.

No need in telling a person right away but I do think after the relationship would develop then yes of course tell the truth. Not telling is a very selfish act and very irresponsible. Of course someone was already irresponsible to have the STD. Accountabilty for ones actions is the key here.

 

[Benny]

When I worked in healthcare we used to get monthly reports on how many STD's came into the hospital and which ones they were. It is amazing how many people have them and ones you would not suspect at all. Be careful is all I can say. Some of them can lay dormant for years before they pop up.

No need in telling a person right away but I do think after the relationship would develop then yes of course tell the truth. Not telling is a very selfish act and very irresponsible. Of course someone was already irresponsible to have the STD. Accountabilty for ones actions is the key here.

Not always...Don't forget about that kid in Kokomo.

Ryan White - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia