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  1. #1
    Plinker Pyroponce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    South Bend

    When is it worth not carrying?

    Iím wondering if itís ever worth leaving your firearm at home/in a vehicle if youíre not compelled to do so. I myself donít leave my pistol behind for any garden variety No Guns sign (although Iíll exercse some discretion and CC when I would normally OC. I am also sympathetic to the arguments behind not patronizing businesses that prohibit firearms on their property. I do not typically go to that extreme on account of my wife who tolerated my guns and has a few of her own but she has never made daily carry a priority.

    Today, though, my wife was hanging out with her mother and I was invited to join them at her house after I left work for the day. But as I was getting in the car, my wife texted me to let me know that my mother-in-law and her husband wanted me to leave my pistol at home. I was rather taken aback by this sentiment since I carry almost every day and have done so for almost 18 months now and I have CCd and OCd in their house on many occasions. I elected to not join my family since itís about a half hour drive and would rather make dinner at home instead of pick up fast food on the way to them, but I made it clear to my wife that I was not comfortable having to choose between carrying and family.

    I guess Iím asking how far should I force this issue.
    White? Black? Purple? I'm colorblind

  2. #2
    Expert bocefus78's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Hamilton Co.
    I'm not married so my thoughts may differ from yours. Anyway, I would have went and just left it in the truck at their home. It's not worth starting family drama over imo. After all, their house, their rules.

    Now if you don't like the inlaws, and the wife won't blow you crap over not going, then keep doing what you did today. After a while of non attendance, they may change their tune.

    Then there is always just cc, stfu, and don't give hugs.

  3. #3
    Perpetually peeved poultry AngryRooster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Outside the coup
    I carry all the time, everywhere, unless it's illegal to do so. As far as the family situation, I probably would opt not to go and express my displeasure at the ultimatum just as you did, providing it was an event at their house. If I was forced to go then it would either get discretely carried anyway or locked in the safe in the car. If it was to go someplace for dinner or other event then the answer would have been tough ****.

    Next time they want to come to your place you could always request that they do it armed.
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  4. #4
    Grandmaster LEaSH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    I wouldn't rock the boat with the inlaws.

    Deep conceal and that's a fair compromise.

  5. #5
    Grandmaster Bfish's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    I'd make it their choice I guess you could say. "I'm going to carry my pistol (concealed) regardless of what you have to say, and if you are not comfortable with that then don't invite me to your home." Or "I understand and I'm sorry I'm not welcome anymore" But I would not change to appease, but at the same time not throw a fit about it or anything.

    If they choose to come to your house then that's their problem. I feel like that is being respectful or not an a-hole about it, but also not going against your principals to appease theirs. They were probably all stirred up from watching CNN hahahah.
    My inlaws are very cool, however, that's how I'd handle it personally. I've got friends who've handled it that way.

  6. #6
    Tired Of Winning
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Monroe County
    What's your ex-wife look like? Pics?

    Just kidding, my friend.

    It would be good however, to get a dialog of what turned the inlaws off about your carrying though. Something to be learned one way or another.
    Done, done, and Iím on to the next one...

  7. #7
    Marksman CraigAPS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    I have similar issues when dealing with my family. I carry, my dad carries occasionally, my BIL bought one (but has yet to shoot it). Guns are not completely unheard of in our family, although a fairly recent thing, but I still don't carry at my brother's or sister's houses. They've both been shooting with us, but they just aren't as comfortable with them. I do it out of respect. That being said, I NEVER leave it at home. If I go to one of their houses, it goes with me but stays in the car. Holster stays on (I have, heretofore, carried OWB and I'm not d***ing with taking it on and off all the darn time!), gun goes back in as soon as I'm in my car. I should also note that I'm looking at getting a single stack to carry when I'm around them. So, maybe I'm leaning toward my ability to defend them and myself if necessary outweighs their comfort levels.... But, regardless, that's what I'm doing for the moment.

  8. #8
    Plinker Crittersdad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    If my gun is not welcome neither am I.
    Donít pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, heíll just kill you.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    I went through EXACTLY the same thing with my inlaws. I explained that me carrying is for THEIR protection also. They listened but didn't agree. I was very polite but I refused to go back. They were ALWAYS welcome here but not me there as long I exercised my second rights.

    Marriage didn't last long anyway. In fact it could classify as a 'drive by marriage.'

  10. #10
    Master KittySlayer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by Pyroponce View Post
    But as I was getting in the car, my wife texted me to let me know that my mother-in-law and her husband wanted me to leave my pistol at home.
    What a bunch of wimps not telling you in person and making your wife do their dirty work. Mother-in-law or her limp wristed hubby need to sack up and tell you in person why they are suddenly concerned about you carrying in their home. If they ever get around to asking you in person not to carry in their house you could respond...

    I love my wife very much and could never forgive myself if something horrible happened to her that I could have stopped if I was carrying the proper tools/weapon. What is it about my carrying in your house that makes you feel unsafe? We can address what needs done to make you feel safe about my holstered gun when I visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by LEaSH View Post
    I wouldn't rock the boat with the inlaws.

    Deep conceal and that's a fair compromise.
    Probably after a conversation with your wife this may be the practical solution. Happy Wife, Happy Life.

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