When is it worth not carrying?

[awames76]

im lucky. my inlaws and 2 sister inlaws know me and my wife carry. we all live on the farm, 2 houses and 2 converted barns. there are 12 kids total ages 15 to new born. one of my sister in law and her husband have permit and one gun, but they dont carry. 5 of the 7 adults work at local school so we cant carry at work, sucks.

 

[rransford]

I had a similar situation. My wife, then fiance, and I went to one of her friend's house. Her friends were aware that I carried. Don't quite remember how they knew. But they went through my wife and had her ask me to leave my pistol in the vehicle when I showed up. Couldn't be a man about it and ask me. He was even a jerk about it to my wife. I was very resistant to the idea of even going. Showed my displeasure of the situation. I respected that option and chose to go and leave my pistol in my vehicle and kept it civil. Little did I know, one of their family members had committed suicide by gun. But ironically, the father, different person, is a cop. But have never been back since.

 

[Pyroponce]

Yesterday was kinda busy for me so I’ll call my mother-in-law later today. As much as it pains me to CC unnecessarily when OC is superior, I’ll offer to CC in their house. I fear I may have overestimated my MIL and her husband’s love of guns; I’m guessing that he’s been a Fudd all along. In any case I’m pissed off that they waited this long to say something and they got my wife involved. Details tonight hopefully.

 

[KittySlayer]

If they ask you to disarm and leave it in the car the next question should be "how do you plan to protect my wife since you have taken over that responsibility by disarming me?"



But we live in a nice neighborhood. Yeah right, a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday at dinner time there was a police chase into our nice neighborhood. Bad guy abandoned his car in the street directly in front of our house and fled across the street into the neighbors back yard. What if he had run up our driveway and it was summer and we were sitting on the back porch? Got to sit inside and watch out the front window of our house as a half dozen State Police searched the neighborhood with long guns and a dog.

 

[AngryRooster]

If they ask you to disarm and leave it in the car the next question should be "how do you plan to protect my wife since you have taken over that responsibility by disarming me?"



But we live in a nice neighborhood. Yeah right, a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday at dinner time there was a police chase into our nice neighborhood. Bad guy abandoned his car in the street directly in front of our house and fled across the street into the neighbors back yard. What if he had run up our driveway and it was summer and we were sitting on the back porch? Got to sit inside and watch out the front window of our house as a half dozen State Police searched the neighborhood with long guns and a dog.

You are right. Most people have that 'it will never happen to me' attitude, or think that the carrier is blowing things out of proportions all the time.

Maybe a better question, one that they could relate to a little easier, would be "Since a car isn't really a secure place to leave it unattended your homeowners insurance will cover my loss if it's broken into and stolen while at your house, correct?" or "are you sure your homeowners insurance covers firearms if it's stolen while out of my possession and in my car?"

Of course this will probably ruffle the feathers of family, more of a suggestion for non-family Fudds.

 

[rooster]

If there is even a possibility that OC will cause trouble it’s probably best to put an LCP in your pocket instead of that 1911 on the outside of your belt. I like to open carry too but I don’t have these issues because I use discretion when deciding how to carry.

 

[Rod Farva]

I use CC at the ILs as a practice game. They catch me I guess I didn't do it right. Of course the circumstances are a little different. I don't have to leave if they catch me. If they catch me, they will certainly ask to "Kentucky-Fried-Chicken-Finger" my finely tuned practically tactical carry piece. (yes that's a term). So to stop this madness I have to take other less important guns to distract them. Like the sweet "money decal'd Hi-Point" with modified "gangster approved" drum mag. Sounds like some of you guys need new in-laws.

 

[Bapak2ja]

Conceal Carry. Don't ask. Don't tell.

 

[patience0830]

What say we all just man up and ask what the logic was in asking the wife and not speaking directly to the op, AKA "The Problem"

Then have an appropriate discussion about why you prefer to carry -vs- not carry. If they can't be convinced that letting you conceal a weapon is better than missing out on your company. Then they didn't like you much to start with.

 

[rhino]

What say we all just man up and ask what the logic was in asking the wife and not speaking directly to the op, AKA "The Problem"

Then have an appropriate discussion about why you prefer to carry -vs- not carry. If they can't be convinced that letting you conceal a weapon is better than missing out on your company. Then they didn't like you much to start with.

It pains me to be the devil's advocate, but the comeback will be along the lines of "you value your gun more than you value time with us." I know the premise is flawed and downright false for most of us, but the people in question are incapable of understanding that at some point for many of us, carrying all the time became part of our character and way of life and thus no longer optional. Their collective failure to understand that is a lot like people who don't understand that you can fully love your spouse and fully love your children and fully love your parents and fully love your siblings and fully love your friends. You don't have to make choice because they don't come from the same "pool of love." Similarly for being armed, it's not about who or what you value more. You value both and trying to coerce someone to choose is akin to making them choose between their spouse and their kids.

 

[Mark 1911]

I married a Canadian. The only guns she ever saw before I entered the picture was the grip of a pistol in a police officer's holster. The first time my mother in law visited us I wasn't sure what her reaction would be to my open carry. Was pleasantly surprised when she told me she felt safe, like she has a personal body guard. My mother in law grew up in Italy, a little girl who in WWII watched her father dragged away by Nazi soldiers. He survived, but she didn't see him again until after the war. She doesn't like war movies, understandably. So we didn't know what to expect. But, she was ok with it. Understandable when you consider her history.

 

[actaeon277]

It pains me to be the devil's advocate, but the comeback will be along the lines of "you value your gun more than you value time with us." I know the premise is flawed and downright false for most of us, but the people in question are incapable of understanding that at some point for many of us, carrying all the time became part of our character and way of life and thus no longer optional. Their collective failure to understand that is a lot like people who don't understand that you can fully love your spouse and fully love your children and fully love your parents and fully love your siblings and fully love your friends. You don't have to make choice because they don't come from the same "pool of love." Similarly for being armed, it's not about who or what you value more. You value both and trying to coerce someone to choose is akin to making them choose between their spouse and their kids.

Turn it back on them.
No, YOU have set the line that I will not be here. NOT me.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

but the comeback will be along the lines of "you value your gun more than you value time with us." I know the premise is flawed...

Is it a flawed premise? Seems to be a pretty exact way to approach the problem. "Do I value carrying a gun at this particular time more than I value (insert activity that precludes carrying a gun at this time)?

You value both and trying to coerce someone to choose is akin to making them choose between their spouse and their kids.

Yeah, you can value both, but you won't value each equally. A lot of folks have to make this decision every day just to go to work. I make it when I want to swim or travel abroad. I'm not sure I buy into raising it to Sophie's Choice levels.

 

[MRockwell]

At least the OP wasn't asked to disarm while in his own home by MIL.

Last Thanksgiving, My wife and I were hosting dinner. I had been in the kitchen all day cooking, and her mom was the first to show up. Something was mentioned about removing the sidearm that was OC on my hip. I just blew it off, put some snacks on the table, and showed her where the wine was. I while later, when setting down to dinner, I was still carrying-but had a sweater covering up.