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  1. #1
    Grandmaster IndyBeerman's Avatar

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    Incident at the homestead

    Some members might know I'm experiencing a shoulder problem and have been put on light duty for the last 7 weeks.

    In this last seven weeks I'm coming home at about the 4:30 to 4:45pm time frame, way earlier that my normal get home time when healthy. During these seven weeks I've noticed that one of the people who live someplace in my quaint subdivision has taken to walking his dog and let my front yard become his pooches drop off spot.

    Now just to let people know the average lot size is from 3/4 to 1.5 acres, so there is really no reason that you need to stroll the dog and let them crap in someone elses yard, unless you're like this sorry idiot that doesn't want it in his yard and doesn't plan on cleaning it up out of others yard.

    I take offense to this, I get tired in the summer time of running the mower through the front yard only to run over some pooch's possibly fecal infected crap and taking the chance of getting my dog's sick when I put the mower up.

    So I pull around the corner this evening to have before my eyes, his dog dropping a dog log right on my drive way. I stop in the road and get out and calmly and politely inform him to not use my yard as a waste disposal station and to clean it up.

    Guy gets really confrontational and tells me that he'll clean it up when h3ll freeze;s over and starts to walk away. I tell him in a sarcastic tone to not let me find out where he lives or I'll make sure he gets a ton on manure in his driveway for my trouble. I pull in the garage, go out clean it up, end of story right?


    Nope.


    8:50 I get a phone call from my neighbor telling me that someone is kneeling down beside the blind spot on the west side of my house.
    I grab the mossy 500 since my aim would not be to great with my weak hand and walk out from the back around to the side.

    As I'm approaching about 8 foot from the edge I see this guys dog sitting there looking me in the face with that "It's not me look" and all of a sudden I hear this guy on his cell phone saying "Ya honey, I'm crapping on the side of his house right now, teach him to chew me out"

    I rack the slide and walk around and you should have seen the look on this guys face, cause I had just made him a little more. Made him pull his pants up without wiping made him give me his drivers license and I told him he get in in the mail with a certified letter explaining what my plans are for his actions and to never ever come on my property again because I got eyes everywhere.

    So, do I just mail it back to him with what will happen if I catch him trespassing on my property or should I really follow through with a ton of cow manure.

    Right now I'm leaning towards just mailing it back with stay off my property verbiage, but the wife is in the living room still laughing at my manure idea.

    What should I do?
    Don't be that Richard, nobody likes a smart ass Richard, there's way more than we need here.


    Trump reaffirms my decision everyday voting for him as President and my
    reason for voting for him again in 2020.



    Member#630, geez I've been here a while.

  2. #2
    Grandmaster Frank_N_Stein's Avatar

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    Cover his license with his own ****, then mail it back to him. Put the rest of the pile of his **** in an airtight package, and send it UPS or FedEx. But that's just me.
    Last edited by Frank_N_Stein; 03-10-2010 at 22:01. Reason: language
    Quote Originally Posted by Birds Away View Post
    You'e thinking in circles and you have yourself surrounded.

  3. #3
    Marksman

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    HAHA! +1 repped for good sense of humor and doing what you have to. Question: is there any way you can get in legal trouble for 'confiscating' his DL?

  4. #4
    Grandmaster LPMan59's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank_N_Stein View Post
    Cover his license with his own sh*t, then mail it back to him. Put the rest of the pile of his sh*t in an airtight package, and send it UPS or FedEx. But that's just me.
    lmfao good idea. especially when a cop tells you to do it.
    Upwing Extremist

  5. #5
    Grandmaster Tactical Dave's Avatar

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    Get some straight acetone and use it to remove most of the writing on it so that he has to get get another one (will cost him money) then stick it in his poop in a box with a letter on top telling him it is his poop that you are returning, stick it in an air tight box and stick it in the mail .

    When he open's it I am sure he will puke then he will think something is wrong with him because his poop ate away a lot of the lettering on his liscence.........

  6. #6
    Grandmaster wtfd661's Avatar

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    I think I would bag up his dog and his and personally return it along with his license. This way there is no doubt that I know where he lives and I doubt you will see him again.
    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" Ben Franklin
    "Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting to see what they will have for lunch, Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the outcome of the vote." - Ben Franklin
    Marbury v. Madison, 5 US 137,(1803) "The Constitution of these United States is the supreme law of the land. Any law that is repugnant to the Constitution is null and void of law."
    http://www.amberalertindiana.com/showbutton.php

  7. #7
    Shooter

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    Sorry but I would be calling the poooolice right now.

    I dont deal well with body fluids.

  8. #8
    Grandmaster IndyBeerman's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by indoorsoccerfrea View Post
    HAHA! +1 repped for good sense of humor and doing what you have to. Question: is there any way you can get in legal trouble for 'confiscating' his DL?
    Ya, have him explain that one, "uh, uh, he took it cause I pooped in his yard."

    I can see that one right now, Here's your sign!

    Quote Originally Posted by IndyMonkey View Post
    Sorry but I would be calling the poooolice right now.

    I don't deal well with body fluids.
    That's why pooper scoopers was invented!

    Bagged and tagged with date and time on it.

    If he wants to cause problems, let him explain how I got his poop in a zip lock baggy. Heck we could even call in for some DNA.

    Oh , this could be the script for one of those just plain stupid original CSI episodes where nothing make sense.
    Don't be that Richard, nobody likes a smart ass Richard, there's way more than we need here.


    Trump reaffirms my decision everyday voting for him as President and my
    reason for voting for him again in 2020.



    Member#630, geez I've been here a while.

  9. #9
    Marksman critter592's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank_N_Stein View Post
    Cover his license with his own ****, then mail it back to him. Put the rest of the pile of his **** in an airtight package, and send it UPS or FedEx. But that's just me.
    Funny but I would believe that to be a violation of hazmat regs and could get you in trouble.

  10. #10
    Plinker

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    He broke several laws, call the police and open a complaint, that way you have a history in case he is really stupid and esclates the issue. Ask the police officer if he can return the license and give a verbal warning. Do not damage the license or the ax falls on you.


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