Incident at the homestead

[XDinmyXJ]

This made my night. Not only did he get to see the business end of a mossberg, His wife ripped him a new one! Priceless!

 

[thompal]

I believe you should definitely call the police and let them handle it. It sounds stupid, but the idiot just may call the police on you for armed robbery!

OFFICER!! That madman stole my sh*t!!

 

[thompal]

I would HIGHLY urge you against sending a biohazard through the postal system.... i am pretty sure its a felony if not done right, and i am not so sure there is a right way w/ feces.

Yup, and whoever lives at the return address had best be prepared to answer some serious questions!!

 

[BloodEclipse]

I love a story with a great ending.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Some members might know I'm experiencing a shoulder problem and have been put on light duty for the last 7 weeks.

In this last seven weeks I'm coming home at about the 4:30 to 4:45pm time frame, way earlier that my normal get home time when healthy. During these seven weeks I've noticed that one of the people who live someplace in my quaint subdivision has taken to walking his dog and let my front yard become his pooches drop off spot.

Now just to let people know the average lot size is from 3/4 to 1.5 acres, so there is really no reason that you need to stroll the dog and let them crap in someone elses yard, unless you're like this sorry idiot that doesn't want it in his yard and doesn't plan on cleaning it up out of others yard.

I take offense to this, I get tired in the summer time of running the mower through the front yard only to run over some pooch's possibly fecal infected crap and taking the chance of getting my dog's sick when I put the mower up.

So I pull around the corner this evening to have before my eyes, his dog dropping a dog log right on my drive way. I stop in the road and get out and calmly and politely inform him to not use my yard as a waste disposal station and to clean it up.

Guy gets really confrontational and tells me that he'll clean it up when h3ll freeze;s over and starts to walk away. I tell him in a sarcastic tone to not let me find out where he lives or I'll make sure he gets a ton on manure in his driveway for my trouble. I pull in the garage, go out clean it up, end of story right?


Nope.


8:50 I get a phone call from my neighbor telling me that someone is kneeling down beside the blind spot on the west side of my house.
I grab the mossy 500 since my aim would not be to great with my weak hand and walk out from the back around to the side.

As I'm approaching about 8 foot from the edge I see this guys dog sitting there looking me in the face with that "It's not me look" and all of a sudden I hear this guy on his cell phone saying "Ya honey, I'm crapping on the side of his house right now, teach him to chew me out"

I rack the slide and walk around and you should have seen the look on this guys face, cause I had just made him a little more. Made him pull his pants up without wiping made him give me his drivers license and I told him he get in in the mail with a certified letter explaining what my plans are for his actions and to never ever come on my property again because I got eyes everywhere.

So, do I just mail it back to him with what will happen if I catch him trespassing on my property or should I really follow through with a ton of cow manure.

Right now I'm leaning towards just mailing it back with stay off my property verbiage, but the wife is in the living room still laughing at my manure idea.

What should I do?

No pics? I'd have had him sitting in "it" until the sheriff showed up.

I wouldn't give him "crap" until he came in the middle of the afternoon on saturday and picked up every pile in my yard for a few weeks.

That stay off my property verbiage is just weak. I expect that much as a given. No one caught even close to what you have described will get off that easy at my house. When I lived in town the preacher up the street let his dog crap in every one's yard on his little walks each evening. I happened to see him do it across the street one time and it brought it to my attention then to watch for him.

I only had to catch him once and I never saw him "walking the dog" any where on our street again.

 

[thompal]

You should definitely have your wife tell his wife some of the things that were suggested here. That should stir the bucket at their house a little more.

I would loved to have seen them on the drive to your house. I wonder if he huddled in the corner of the car seat like a 6 year old caught smoking.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Thanks for the laugh..

I would have made him clean it up with his bare hands right there on the spot. As for the Drivers License, I would either just mail it back with a stern letter explaining how upset you are or call the police and hand it over to them if you wish to get law enforcement involved.

Tell him to pick up HIS crap, his dog's crap and any other dog crap in the yard and put it all in his pocket and get down the street and don't come back. Document everything. I mean I bet he had his phone in your pocket and it probably has a camera or at least call the cops. Pointing guns at people can turn out bad no matter what the real circumstance is. At this point it's his word against the other guy and the OP publicly acknowledged his side.

 

[XDinmyXJ]

Pointing guns at people can turn out bad no matter what the real circumstance is.

In that situation he had every reason to aim a gun at the guy. He could have been a real psycho and been waiting for him to walk around the corner and then shot him. Its his property and he had every right to do that. I would have made him sit there and wait for the police. If i was his neighbor I would have enjoyed the hell out of watching that unfold though!

 

[U.S. Patriot]

I would stick his DL in his poop. Give it back, and say your DL is in your poop!

 

[Doug]

The teenager needs to be punished also. What a fine example of a Man and a Father. What is he saying: Daughters marry there fathers; so she going to have a fine husband one day.

The teenager does NOT need to be punished. Having a father who takes his teenager's advice in a matter like this is punishment enough. Having a father like this one is child abuse! What a tool!

Doug

 

[HandK]

People never fail fail to amaze me on how stupid they can be!! glad it worked out in the end!! No pun intended!!

 

[indytechnerd]

I would HIGHLY urge you against sending a biohazard through the postal system.... i am pretty sure its a felony if not done right, and i am not so sure there is a right way w/ feces.

Yes there is... in a paper bag, on his front porch, on fire. duh!

 

[IndyBeerman]

Wonder if he sucked a turd back up when he heard you rack the shotgun

I like the idea of mailing the "material" to the White House. Don't actually suggest doing it, but it made me laugh!

Would have been funny if you'd snapped a pic of him, printed it up, and posted it around the neighborhood. The wife thinks she's mad she found out this way, imagine finding that on your morning walk LOL. For the record, I don't actually suggest doing that either. But it does sound fun.

I was in enough pain trying to hold the mossy, so trying to snapa pic and hold the mossy would habe been unadvisable and VERY painfull to my right shoulder.

That's funny stuff right there.
I bet the look on that idiot's face when you walked around the corner was priceless.

Yes in deed it was a mastercard moment!

Tell him to pick up HIS crap, his dog's crap and any other dog crap in the yard and put it all in his pocket and get down the street and don't come back.

One thing I did forget to mention last night was that she gave my wife thier phone number and told her to call when I get home. I'm getting a feeling that his wife has decided he's on housekeeping poop cleanup.

 

[BloodEclipse]

I was in enough pain trying to hold the mossy, so trying to snapa pic and hold the mossy would habe been unadvisable and VERY painfull to my right shoulder.




Yes in deed it was a mastercard moment!



One thing I did forget to mention last night was that she gave my wife thier phone number and told her to call when I get home. I'm getting a feeling that his wife has decided he's on housekeeping poop cleanup.

PRICELESS!!

 

[JohnP82]

He broke several laws, call the police and open a complaint, that way you have a history in case he is really stupid and esclates the issue. Ask the police officer if he can return the license and give a verbal warning. Do not damage the license or the ax falls on you.

Good luck, hope this problem will end for you soon.

 

[youngda9]

Santa knows if you've been bad or good.

 

[jeremy]

Indy Beerman...

Let me know if you really want to go though with the manure in his yard. I have a friend and neighbor that has a 30,000 Sow hog operation... Just saying...

 

[w_ADAM_d88]

I would have made him keep his pants down and have a seat in his own crap until the cops arrived. Great story, and keep us posted on how this turns out.

+1 For the way you handled the situation. I don't know if I would have been able to keep my cool.

 

[Phil502]

He broke several laws, call the police and open a complaint, that way you have a history in case he is really stupid and esclates the issue. Ask the police officer if he can return the license and give a verbal warning. Do not damage the license or the ax falls on you.

I agree with this, I would maybe have called in to get it on the record but maybe not try to file a formal complaint.

The teenager does NOT need to be punished. Having a father who takes his teenager's advice in a matter like this is punishment enough. Having a father like this one is child abuse! What a tool!

Doug

Absolutely, he uses a teenager for the excuse why he is an A-Hole. I think it makes him twice the jerk he already is.


Damn funny thread, thanks for the laugh Beerman.

 

[printcraft]

Find the nearest illegal immigrant and give him the license as a Christmas present. It's the American dream after all.