funniest thing wife/GF said?

[sonovasailor]

When my wife and I were dating. She came over for a visit. I had just bought an AK-47 and was showing her my new purchase. She stood in front on the mirror in her bra and panties holding the AK and shouted "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE M-F-ER"!!!!! She handed the weapon back to me and said "I have always wanted to say that". I decided she was a keeper.

 

[Sniper 79]

I took my wife out shooting at her first local action match. She saw all the open class guns and guys with tons of ammo. She asked why dont we have all that stuff and is this all the ammo we have? I told her we are not made of money and if you want more ammo come in the basement and work the press for awhile. She actually enjoyed herself quite a bit and we have gone back a few times now. She came in the basement and helped reload. I think she now understands what it takes to reload and what things cost now.

 

[other dave]

When my wife and I were dating. She came over for a visit. I had just bought an AK-47 and was showing her my new purchase. She stood in front on the mirror in her bra and panties holding the AK and shouted "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE M-F-ER"!!!!! She handed the weapon back to me and said "I have always wanted to say that". I decided she was a keeper.

Does she have any sisters???

 

[Miketodd]

This happened today. I was trying to decided which holster, ya know IWB, OWB, Leather or Kydex. And she looked at me and said "Why do you need so many holsters?" I replied "Why do you need so many purses?". End of conversation!

 

[bdybdall]

"I know what a Kalashnikov is! I'm from Bulgaria, stupid!"

--My ex-girlfriend as I describing my AK-47. She then went on to brag about her expertise in using them (full-auto, of course).

Never try to explaining anything to a Bulgarian woman. She'll make you feel one-upped, inexperienced, and moronic.

At least she's Bulgarian and not Serbian. You know how they tell Serbian men and women apart? Serbian women have slightly less facial hair.

 

[You'll shoot your eye out]

While trying to teach the wife to use a military key chain can opener (you know the little ones designated "P-38"), she complained that she didn't need to know how because I knew how. I asked her what she would do if she were alone and all she had was a P-38, how would she open a can? She told me that if she had a P-38, she could just shoot the lid off.............

 

[remauto1187]

EX GF: You hunt?
Me: Yes I do.
EX GF: You hunt in the woods?
Me: Yes
EX GF: You hunt lobsters?
Me: No. You know lobsters are in the ocean right?

Damn she was dumb!
-----------------------------------
EX Wife: Arent you scared when you go into the woods in the dark?
Me: Why would I be scared? Im the most dangerous thing in the woods..Ive got a shotgun loaded with deer slugs.
EX Wife: Speechless
-----------------------------------
First time with me in the woods deerhunting. 1hr before sunrise.
EX Stepdaughter: What was that? (Loud noise that sounded like a little girl screaming in the background before we even broke the tree line)
Me: Sounds like that little girl ran into a monster.
EX Stepdaughter: Big eyed and frozen in her tracks.
Me: Laughing....and stating that was a screech owl and they all sound like that.

 

[squidvt]

Not gun related but here goes. Had a new roof put on the house a few years ago. A couple days later the dogs and I were in the front yard when my left foot found a roofing nail. Went in about a half inch. Got the dogs inside and as I limped through the house I could feel my moccasin filling up with blood. My genius wife sees me limping and asks what happened . When I told her she replied with (wait for it)

DID IT HURT?
​

It was at that moment I had my first "Here's your sign" episode!

Fixed it for you..

 

[bowtie]

Not gun related... but the funniest thing my GF (now fiance) ever said?

Background... Born in the Phillipines... moved to sunny San Diego when she was 7years old... never seen snow.

I moved home from San Diego in 2005 and moved her to Elkhart in July of 2007.

That winter... on the first morning of a decent snowfall was about 4 inches... enough to cover the car, but not enough to stop it from getting out of the driveway. She came into the bedroom and woke me up at 7am (I usually didn't get out of bed until 8am at the time) and said....

Her: "Hey babe... I need you to get up and show me how to use the snowblower"

Me: "Don't worry, it didn't snow that hard. Trust me, you won't get stuck."

Her: "I know... but I want to use it to blow all the snow off of my car."

Me: ​

thats funny

 

[other dave]

[/color]

Fixed it for you..

squidvt, you didn't "fix" a damn thing! You weren't there. After her "Did it hurt" comment there was a chain of obscenities coming from me that would put any Tourette's victim to shame.

MYOB!​

 

[Rookie]

squidvt, you didn't "fix" a damn thing! You weren't there. After her "Did it hurt" comment there was a chain of obscenities coming from me that would put any Tourette's victim to shame.

MYOB!​

Lulz

 

[squidvt]

squidvt, you didn't "fix" a damn thing! You weren't there. After her "Did it hurt" comment there was a chain of obscenities coming from me that would put any Tourette's victim to shame.

MYOB!​

Here is some for everyone else.

For dave, you ignorance of Tourette Syndrome is astounding. Your follow on "yell" really makes is clear that you know nothing about TS, and think that one type of tic makes for all of TS. Coprolalia is the tic that is most commonly associated with TS. You assumption that coprolalia does not embarrass people with TS, you need to get to know some people with TS.
Just so you know I'm not talking out of my ass. I have TS and have had to deal with ignorant people like you my entire life.

I also was in the Navy. If you had said something about a sailor's cursing I would have laughed at it. Sailors do have that well deserved reputation.

So yea, I was minding my own business. First I was being semi-scarastic with the PURPLE change. Second I was helping fix your ignorance with out calling you out on it. Third, it's the internet.. you don't need to get freaked when someone quotes you and modifies it a little but and makes it obvious they modified it.

Now if you want to learn a bit more about TS, Check out the following links:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourette_syndrome
TSA Home Page

 

[IncendiaryGunner]

"Don't you already have one of those?"

HAHA, the crazy minx thought I only need one.

 

[JollyMon]

While Not Firearm Related, I still chuckle every time I remember this story. While I was watching Bush give the state of the union a few years back, Wife Calls me up...

Her: What are you doing?
Me: Listening to The State of the Union
Her: Ohh? Who sings that?
Me: ...... The president.

 

[DemolitionMan]

When my wife and I were dating. She came over for a visit. I had just bought an AK-47 and was showing her my new purchase. She stood in front on the mirror in her bra and panties holding the AK and shouted "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE M-F-ER"!!!!! She handed the weapon back to me and said "I have always wanted to say that". I decided she was a keeper.

 

[other dave]

Here is some for everyone else.

For dave, you ignorance of Tourette Syndrome is astounding. Your follow on "yell" really makes is clear that you know nothing about TS, and think that one type of tic makes for all of TS. Coprolalia is the tic that is most commonly associated with TS. You assumption that coprolalia does not embarrass people with TS, you need to get to know some people with TS.
Just so you know I'm not talking out of my ass. I have TS and have had to deal with ignorant people like you my entire life.

I also was in the Navy. If you had said something about a sailor's cursing I would have laughed at it. Sailors do have that well deserved reputation.

So yea, I was minding my own business. First I was being semi-scarastic with the PURPLE change. Second I was helping fix your ignorance with out calling you out on it. Third, it's the internet.. you don't need to get freaked when someone quotes you and modifies it a little but and makes it obvious they modified it.

Now if you want to learn a bit more about TS, Check out the following links:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourette_syndrome
TSA Home Page

Bless you for butting in! I feel so "enlightened" now!

 

[hacksawfg]

Bless you for butting in! I feel so "enlightened" now!

Take it outside.

To get back on topic, when I was proposing to my wife, we went for a walk on campus (she was still in college at the time) I gave the long speech, etc., when I go into my coat pocket to get the ring, she hits me with this whopper:

"You're not going to do what I think you're going to do, are you?!"

Yeah, she facepalmed herself right after that. She said yes, but maintains to this day she had no idea what she was saying.

 

[patience0830]

Take it outside.

To get back on topic, when I was proposing to my wife, we went for a walk on campus (she was still in college at the time) I gave the long speech, etc., when I go into my coat pocket to get the ring, she hits me with this whopper:

"You're not going to do what I think you're going to do, are you?!"

Yeah, she facepalmed herself right after that. She said yes, but maintains to this day she had no idea what she was saying.

What did shi THINK you had in your pocket?

 

[raggedoutcummins77]

No that to funny lol

 

[bds792]

I was taking inventory of my arsenal tonight; I have 13 guns. I said I needed to run out an buy another gun since 13 is an unlucky number. My wife says, "You don't need another gun, just think of them as Jesus and his 12 Apostles."