I thought of that after I posted it up. Good catch.
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How to form a raiding party when SHTF?
- Thread starter bingley
- Start date
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I thought of that after I posted it up. Good catch.
You've done this before, right?
Avoid the South Side. They are well-armed. Near North Side would offer the best mix of plunder, wenches and livestock.
Certainly an order of things that you wouldn't want to get mixed up, nobody would take you seriously if you were caught raping cattle...
Rape the horses, and ride off on the women?
Bunnykid68
Grandmaster
I got IndyDave's back 
That's pretty good advice for any aspiring barbarian or spikey-haired mutant band.
You've done this before, right?
I can neither affirm nor deny that allegation!
Dang it!!! I always get that part wrong!!!!
Some mistakes you only make once.
From Erik the Viking:
HELGA Have you done this sort of thing before?
ERIK Me? Of course! I've been looting and pillaging up and down the
coast.
HELGA (looking sceptical) Looting and pillaging, eh?
ERIK (on the defensive) Yes.
HELGA What about the raping?
ERIK Shut up.
HELGA It's obvious you haven't raped anyone in your life.
ERIK Sh!
He covers her mouth with his free hand, and looks round to make sure no
one's heard. Then he carries on trying to undo his trousers, but he is
now somewhat more than half-hearted about it.
Helga watches suspiciously.
HELGA Do you LIKE women?
Erik is clearly shocked and stung by the insinuation. He stops.
ERIK Of course I like women... I LOVE 'em.
HELGA (pointing out the obvious) You don't love ME.
ERIK No... right... this is RAPE... Mark you, I'm not saying I
couldn't get to like you... in fact... well, to be quite
honest, I prefer it when there's some sort of mutual feeling
between two people...
HELGA What - rape?
ERIK No. It isn't rape then, is it?
HELGA Oh, get it over with.
ERIK (hesitates again) I don't suppose... no...
HELGA What?
ERIK I don't suppose you... you DO like me at all?
HELGA What d'you expect? You come in here, burn my village, kill my
family and try to rape me...
This is too much for Erik. We withers under the irony.
ERIK I'll kill you if you say anything about this to anyone.
HELGA (puzzled) About raping me?
ERIK About NOT raping you...
HELGA You DON'T like it, do you?
ERIK Well it just seems a little bit crude, that's all.
HELGA What about the killing and looting? That's just as crude, isn't
it?
ERIK Oh well - you've GOT to do them.
HELGA Why? Why have you got to go round killing and looting?
ERIK To pay for the next expedition, of course.
HELGA But that's a circular argument! If the only reason for going on
an expedition is the killing and looting and the only reason
for the killing and looting is to pay for the next expedition,
they cancel each other out.
ERIK Oh! Stop talking as if we were married!
HELGA Well you started it.
ERIK I just said I didn't feel like raping you.
HELGA And I was just saying that rape is no MORE pointless or crude
than all the killing and looting that goes on.
Erik vents of his frustration on the already shattered door.
ERIK Scream.
HELGA Ah.
ERIK Louder.
HELGA Aaagh! Rape!
ERIK (he'd forgotten about that) Oh, thanks
HELGA Have you done this sort of thing before?
ERIK Me? Of course! I've been looting and pillaging up and down the
coast.
HELGA (looking sceptical) Looting and pillaging, eh?
ERIK (on the defensive) Yes.
HELGA What about the raping?
ERIK Shut up.
HELGA It's obvious you haven't raped anyone in your life.
ERIK Sh!
He covers her mouth with his free hand, and looks round to make sure no
one's heard. Then he carries on trying to undo his trousers, but he is
now somewhat more than half-hearted about it.
Helga watches suspiciously.
HELGA Do you LIKE women?
Erik is clearly shocked and stung by the insinuation. He stops.
ERIK Of course I like women... I LOVE 'em.
HELGA (pointing out the obvious) You don't love ME.
ERIK No... right... this is RAPE... Mark you, I'm not saying I
couldn't get to like you... in fact... well, to be quite
honest, I prefer it when there's some sort of mutual feeling
between two people...
HELGA What - rape?
ERIK No. It isn't rape then, is it?
HELGA Oh, get it over with.
ERIK (hesitates again) I don't suppose... no...
HELGA What?
ERIK I don't suppose you... you DO like me at all?
HELGA What d'you expect? You come in here, burn my village, kill my
family and try to rape me...
This is too much for Erik. We withers under the irony.
ERIK I'll kill you if you say anything about this to anyone.
HELGA (puzzled) About raping me?
ERIK About NOT raping you...
HELGA You DON'T like it, do you?
ERIK Well it just seems a little bit crude, that's all.
HELGA What about the killing and looting? That's just as crude, isn't
it?
ERIK Oh well - you've GOT to do them.
HELGA Why? Why have you got to go round killing and looting?
ERIK To pay for the next expedition, of course.
HELGA But that's a circular argument! If the only reason for going on
an expedition is the killing and looting and the only reason
for the killing and looting is to pay for the next expedition,
they cancel each other out.
ERIK Oh! Stop talking as if we were married!
HELGA Well you started it.
ERIK I just said I didn't feel like raping you.
HELGA And I was just saying that rape is no MORE pointless or crude
than all the killing and looting that goes on.
Erik vents of his frustration on the already shattered door.
ERIK Scream.
HELGA Ah.
ERIK Louder.
HELGA Aaagh! Rape!
ERIK (he'd forgotten about that) Oh, thanks
VikingWarlord
Sharpshooter
Our system of ownership is simple.
1. What's mine is mine.
2. What's yours is mine.
3. What's broken and burning is yours.
swampdonkey
Sharpshooter
RAPE THEIR HORSES AND STEAL THEIR WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wait.......... ok we are good! will be interesting to see how humanity implodes on itself in the event of SHTF! i think every major population center (city) will destroy itself. what survives that will come to the outskirts to look for food and supplies! welcome to my back yard.............
Compost?
crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.
TOO JEWISH!!!!!!!!!!
- Jan 12, 2012
- 27,286
- 113
Interesting. I discover a thread I inspired with a passing observation of an unfortunate truth, and then discover that several in INGO apparently have a stronger fetish for farm animals than for women. What next?
