How to form a raiding party when SHTF?

[BehindBlueI's]

1) Anything not nailed down is mine.
2) Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.

A successful raiding party is made up of:

80% cannon fodder. They will have names like "soldier #4" or "injured archer".

10% seasoned henchmen. They will have actual names, but probably only one. "Mr. Smith" or "Bob", but never Bob Smith. You may have to kill one to show your disappointment if the raid falters early on, you know, as a motivational technique.

5% irregulars. You know, the odd ninja, cyborg, mutant, or mutant ninja cyborg squad that will do most of the heavy lifting while the cannon fodder gets mowed down. They will have full names, and may make regular appearances in future raids.

The remaining 5% will be made up of trusted lieutenants, a stooge, and a femme fatale who's secretly in love with the target of the raid. They are immortal and will always make it to the next raid.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

Now that you have your raiding party set up, and are well on your way to world domination via plunder, remember the top 100 things you must remember as an evil overlord:

Peter's Evil Overlord List

Highlights include:

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly

If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant

My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

 

[IndyDave1776]

Now that you have your raiding party set up, and are well on your way to world domination via plunder, remember the top 100 things you must remember as an evil overlord:

Peter's Evil Overlord List

Highlights include:

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly

If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant

My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

You're having too much fun with this!

 

[eatsnopaste]

Interesting. I discover a thread I inspired with a passing observation of an unfortunate truth, and then discover that several in INGO apparently have a stronger fetish for farm animals than for women. What next?

I don't know what comes next but it seems to me that you must be one of those picky..."city fellers"

 

[IndyDave1776]

I don't know what comes next but it seems to me that you must be one of those picky..."city fellers"

 

[churchmouse]

I don't know what comes next but it seems to me that you must be one of those picky..."city fellers"

He will adjust when the "Pickin" gets thin....they always do.

 

[churchmouse]

1) Anything not nailed down is mine.
2) Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.

A successful raiding party is made up of:

80% cannon fodder. They will have names like "soldier #4" or "injured archer".

10% seasoned henchmen. They will have actual names, but probably only one. "Mr. Smith" or "Bob", but never Bob Smith. You may have to kill one to show your disappointment if the raid falters early on, you know, as a motivational technique.

5% irregulars. You know, the odd ninja, cyborg, mutant, or mutant ninja cyborg squad that will do most of the heavy lifting while the cannon fodder gets mowed down. They will have full names, and may make regular appearances in future raids.

The remaining 5% will be made up of trusted lieutenants, a stooge, and a femme fatale who's secretly in love with the target of the raid. They are immortal and will always make it to the next raid.

Best advice yet....rep inbound

Edit....well poop, system will not let me. +1 for the Monday morning chuckles.

 

[HandK]

All I know is this: do all of the pillaging, sacking, raping, and whatever other unsavory and predatory things you intend to do before you do the burning part.

Dang it!!! I never get that part rite!!!

 

[Pinchaser]

If nothing else, this thread is proof positive that some of you kids have no business being anywhere near firearms.....

 

[PapaScout]

I found this thread as I'm winding up a rough day at work . Thank you INGO for making me smile!

 

[rhino]

Clearly this ain't yore first rodeo, buckaroo!

1) Anything not nailed down is mine.
2) Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.

A successful raiding party is made up of:

80% cannon fodder. They will have names like "soldier #4" or "injured archer".

10% seasoned henchmen. They will have actual names, but probably only one. "Mr. Smith" or "Bob", but never Bob Smith. You may have to kill one to show your disappointment if the raid falters early on, you know, as a motivational technique.

5% irregulars. You know, the odd ninja, cyborg, mutant, or mutant ninja cyborg squad that will do most of the heavy lifting while the cannon fodder gets mowed down. They will have full names, and may make regular appearances in future raids.

The remaining 5% will be made up of trusted lieutenants, a stooge, and a femme fatale who's secretly in love with the target of the raid. They are immortal and will always make it to the next raid.

 

[jbombelli]

I go about this a bit differently. I'll make myself look like a good target, poison some food and booze and then skin out at the first sign of a raiding party. I'll leave behind the poisoned food and booze.

I'll come back a few days later and take what the raiders had before they all died from poisoning.

 

[CathyInBlue]

Cathy's Rules of Raiding

1. Never raid any area you do not have recent scouting reports on. (Know what you're raiding.) (See Cathy's Rules of Scouting)

2. Raid with a party no larger than absolutely necessary.

3. No animals on raiding parties.

3a. No children, teenagers, or tenderfoots on raiding parties either.

4. Bring all of the entry tools (lock picks, halligan, BFH, rappelling rigs, etc.) you think you could possibly use on the specific raid. (See Rule #1)

5. No rifles. Only handguns and short-barrel shotguns. You're a raiding party, not a war party. (See Cathy's Rules of Killin' People an' Breakin' Things)

5a. If you encounter any armed resistance, GTFO.

6. Bring sufficient luggage/transport to remove any and all spoils you anticipate seizing. (Again, see Rule #1)

6a. If you happen on more resources than you anticipated, don't destroy them, leave them. You might be able to get them on another raid.

7. Best raids happen in the middle of the night during the new moon.

7a. Unless you don't have any night vision capabilities, then try either breakfast or dinner time.

8. Once you have the spoils back at your base of operations, anonymize it. If it's in distinctive containers created by the previous owners, put them in new containers and destroy the old ones.

8a. Never discount peaceful trading as better mode of resource acquisition.

8b. Never trade a resource back to a group from whom you raided it in the distinctive containers they created for it. They might not appreciate that.

9. Move on a raiding party exactly as you would on a scouting party. Leave as little evidence you were there as possible, modulo the missing resources.

9a. When entering or leaving buildings, leave at little evidence of your passing as possible. Never shotgun breach when you can halligan. Never halligan when you can boot. Never boot when you can pick the lock.

10. If raiding resources the group you're raiding makes themselves, never damage their ability to continue making more of it.

10a. That includes killing the people who just might be the experts needed to keep making it.

 

[rhino]

I can't raid with CiB. I don't go places without muh rifle!

 

[LockStocksAndBarrel]

I go about this a bit differently. I'll make myself look like a good target, poison some food and booze and then skin out at the first sign of a raiding party. I'll leave behind the poisoned food and booze.

I'll come back a few days later and take what the raiders had before they all died from poisoning.

That's true genius!

 

[2ADMNLOVER]

All I know is this: do all of the pillaging, sacking, raping, and whatever other unsavory and predatory things you intend to do before you do the burning part.

Yeah but , doing all those things while the victim and their possessions are on fire just adds to the ambiance .
You know , makes it a real thriller .

 

[The Bubba Effect]

1. Don't forget nothing.
2. Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, sixty rounds powder and ball, and be ready to march at a minute's warning.
3. When you're on the march, act the way you would if you was sneaking up on a deer. See the enemy first.
4. Tell the truth about what you see and what you do. There is an army depending on us for correct information. You can lie all you please when you tell other folks about the Rangers, but don't never lie to a Ranger or officer.
5. Don't never take a chance you don't have to.
6. When we're on the march we march single file, far enough apart so one shot can't go through two men.
7. If we strike swamps, or soft ground, we spread out abreast, so it's hard to track us.
8. When we march, we keep moving till dark, so as to give the enemy the least possible chance at us.
9. When we camp, half the party stays awake while the other half sleeps.
10. If we take prisoners, we keep 'em separate till we have had time to examine them, so they can't cook up a story between 'em.
11. Don't ever march home the same way. Take a different route so you won't be ambushed.
12. No matter whether we travel in big parties or little ones, each party has to keep a scout 20 yards ahead, 20 yards on each flank, and 20 yards in the rear so the main body can't be surprised and wiped out.
13. Every night you'll be told where to meet if surrounded by a superior force.
14. Don't sit down to eat without posting sentries.
15. Don't sleep beyond dawn. Dawn's when the French and Indians attack.
16. Don't cross a river by a regular ford.
17. If somebody's trailing you, make a circle, come back onto your own tracks, and ambush the folks that aim to ambush you.
18. Don't stand up when the enemy's coming against you. Kneel down, lie down, hide behind a tree.
19. Let the enemy come till he's almost close enough to touch, then let him have it and jump out and finish him up with your hatchet.

 

[indiucky]

TOO JEWISH!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmm. It sounds to me like your suggesting "the old number 7" then?

God I am old. I was going to post the link but after watching it on youtube and Slim Pickens very un pc use of a racial slur I decided against it.

Harvey Coreman (sic) "So you spare the womenfolk?"

Slim Pickens "Hell no...We rape the &^%$ out of them at the number 6 dance later that night."

 

[indiucky]

1. Don't forget nothing.
2. Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, sixty rounds powder and ball, and be ready to march at a minute's warning.
3. When you're on the march, act the way you would if you was sneaking up on a deer. See the enemy first.
4. Tell the truth about what you see and what you do. There is an army depending on us for correct information. You can lie all you please when you tell other folks about the Rangers, but don't never lie to a Ranger or officer.
5. Don't never take a chance you don't have to.
6. When we're on the march we march single file, far enough apart so one shot can't go through two men.
7. If we strike swamps, or soft ground, we spread out abreast, so it's hard to track us.
8. When we march, we keep moving till dark, so as to give the enemy the least possible chance at us.
9. When we camp, half the party stays awake while the other half sleeps.
10. If we take prisoners, we keep 'em separate till we have had time to examine them, so they can't cook up a story between 'em.
11. Don't ever march home the same way. Take a different route so you won't be ambushed.
12. No matter whether we travel in big parties or little ones, each party has to keep a scout 20 yards ahead, 20 yards on each flank, and 20 yards in the rear so the main body can't be surprised and wiped out.
13. Every night you'll be told where to meet if surrounded by a superior force.
14. Don't sit down to eat without posting sentries.
15. Don't sleep beyond dawn. Dawn's when the French and Indians attack.
16. Don't cross a river by a regular ford.
17. If somebody's trailing you, make a circle, come back onto your own tracks, and ambush the folks that aim to ambush you.
18. Don't stand up when the enemy's coming against you. Kneel down, lie down, hide behind a tree.
19. Let the enemy come till he's almost close enough to touch, then let him have it and jump out and finish him up with your hatchet.

Robert Rogers joins the conversation...Welcome sir..

A young family friend is in the Navy and just returned from Afghanistan with his team. I sent him a copy of Rogers biography when he got deployed (along with other 18th century frontier warfare books, including James Smith's account of his captivity with the Indians) and he said he was amazed at how valid the lessons are even today.

 

[indytechnerd]

I believe this belongs here: