So my wife an I have a tacit understanding. We live in the woods, and the woodland furry creatures, while cute, can do significant damage to structures in a relatively short amount of time if left unchecked. My pest removal program, while necessary, must be conducted under cover of darkness and preferably when my wife is not around. She is content to think that I relocate the animals to a woodland shelter where unicorns poop raccoon food and water bowls are filled with Sun King. I am content to let her think that.
Having contacted my local CO in advance to understand the legalities of such an endeavor, I have undertaken such operations in the past and had great success in defending The Compound from these marauding hordes whilst keeping the wife blissfully unaware of the method by which these raccoons have been "disappeared".
Last night, while the wife was out of town visiting her parents, I saw an opportunity, and I took it. Unfortunately for me, while my stupendous feat of marksmanship with a suppressed .22 pistol resulted in "one shot, one kill" results (not always easy on these damn raccoons), it also resulted in a spray of arterial blood that painted the side of my house quite garishly. And the wife is on her way home.
Anybody got a phone number for The Wolf...?
Having contacted my local CO in advance to understand the legalities of such an endeavor, I have undertaken such operations in the past and had great success in defending The Compound from these marauding hordes whilst keeping the wife blissfully unaware of the method by which these raccoons have been "disappeared".
Last night, while the wife was out of town visiting her parents, I saw an opportunity, and I took it. Unfortunately for me, while my stupendous feat of marksmanship with a suppressed .22 pistol resulted in "one shot, one kill" results (not always easy on these damn raccoons), it also resulted in a spray of arterial blood that painted the side of my house quite garishly. And the wife is on her way home.
Anybody got a phone number for The Wolf...?