Paging "The Wolf" please...cleanup in aisle 4

[rockhopper46038]

So my wife an I have a tacit understanding. We live in the woods, and the woodland furry creatures, while cute, can do significant damage to structures in a relatively short amount of time if left unchecked. My pest removal program, while necessary, must be conducted under cover of darkness and preferably when my wife is not around. She is content to think that I relocate the animals to a woodland shelter where unicorns poop raccoon food and water bowls are filled with Sun King. I am content to let her think that.

Having contacted my local CO in advance to understand the legalities of such an endeavor, I have undertaken such operations in the past and had great success in defending The Compound from these marauding hordes whilst keeping the wife blissfully unaware of the method by which these raccoons have been "disappeared".

Last night, while the wife was out of town visiting her parents, I saw an opportunity, and I took it. Unfortunately for me, while my stupendous feat of marksmanship with a suppressed .22 pistol resulted in "one shot, one kill" results (not always easy on these damn raccoons), it also resulted in a spray of arterial blood that painted the side of my house quite garishly. And the wife is on her way home.

Anybody got a phone number for The Wolf...?

 

[TheEngineer]

 

[shibumiseeker]

You live in the woods. Blood spatters on the siding is just a fact of life...

 

[SEIndSAM]

Garden Hose????

 

[aaron580]

This story just made my day.

 

[other dave]

 

[The Bubba Effect]

Cover the blood with motor oil, throw a weedeater, rotortiller, push mower, (something worn out that you are looking for an excuse to replace) and shoot it several times in the yard. When the wife gets home, tell her "I have to get a new _weedeater/rotortiller, etc___ because the old one was asking too many questions and got shot".

 

[Cameramonkey]

yes. +1 to the motor oil. But dont actually spray any. Blood dries brown, so tell her you were running the weed eater and it blew, spraying fuel/oil mix everywhere. You tried to hose it off but thats the best you could do.

 

[ghitch75]

i still have blood in the door jam of my shed from a raccoon that got it with a piece of gas pipe then a 22short to the head 7 years ago.......hose it off and if she says anything just...

 

[ShootnCut]

As to your request................

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgzFPOMjiC8

 

[nra4ever]

Hydrogen peroxide is ur friend when it comes to blood. It works great. Especially on clothing and carpet.

 

[rockhopper46038]

Cover the blood with motor oil, throw a weedeater, rotortiller, push mower, (something worn out that you are looking for an excuse to replace) and shoot it several times in the yard. When the wife gets home, tell her "I have to get a new _weedeater/rotortiller, etc___ because the old one was asking too many questions and got shot".

yes. +1 to the motor oil. But dont actually spray any. Blood dries brown, so tell her you were running the weed eater and it blew, spraying fuel/oil mix everywhere. You tried to hose it off but thats the best you could do.

Gentlemen, I knew that someone would have a viable solution. INGO to the rescue!

 

[ghitch75]

here you go....

[video=youtube;IgzFPOMjiC8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgzFPOMjiC8[/video]

 

[throttletony]

This story just made my day.

I'll second that. My wife's perception of that mythical happy "farm" where critters get relocated got shattered when I shot a big mean feral tomcat at her parents last Christmas. This cat had killed off two kittens that they just adopted...

 

[Indy_Guy_77]

I was also going to suggest H2O2 as a cleaning agent...

But to blend/mask...then carry on.

Also - nice Sun King reference.

 

[Dead Duck]

Just tell her you were honoring "The Passover".
Officially it just started today so you're golden.




- Wait, is she blonde?

 

[ghuns]

Hydrogen peroxide is ur friend when it comes to blood. It works great. Especially on clothing and carpet.

Thanks for the tip Dexter.

 

[rockhopper46038]

Wife's plane delayed. I may be able to pull this off...

 

[Leadeye]

Living in the southern woods, the memsahib has no illusions about the woodland creatures. Last summer we killed 5 raccoons in the garden in one night, 13 for the whole growing season.

 

[dyerwatcher]

Be sure to have good coffee when the Wolf arrives. I recommend a French Press