25 year marriage in the toilet

[LionWeight]

My first marriage lasted 12 years and 2 days. It's not easy, but if you wind up divorcing, and only you can figure which road to take, just know that things do get better. I've been married 23 years on the 2nd and have 2 great kids from her first marriage and 3 grandkids that are mine and I'm theirs. Just take them one day at a time and don't do anything rash.

Good luck and prayers for you.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Has to suck burying your own children. In-laws had to do it twice out of four. I don't mind saying I hope I don't have to face that. Thread has gone off the track. Don't mind me.

 

[churchmouse]

Man, I could not even begin to imagine. So sorry for your loss.
Lost my sister-in-law to cancer in '01, she had three little boys, all under the age of 6.
If I ever had to bury one of my children, I'm not sure how I'd go on.

You just do. There are others in need.

 

[88GT]

I am on my 4th.

At this point, I think we can stop blaming the ex-wives and start looking at the individual that picked them.

Only the smart ones. I had a life long friend that just never learned to stop touching what was not his to touch. He got his butt pounded more than a few times for this very reason. Some idiots just do not get it.
Know a few more like that as well. They just see no boundary's.

He is no longer in my circle. Got tired of bailing him out of situations.

And if they were smart, they wouldn't knowingly play in someone else's sandbox without an invitation.

I'm going to stay away from the divorce threads from now on. They make me ill.

 

[churchmouse]

At this point, I think we can stop blaming the ex-wives and start looking at the individual that picked them.


And if they were smart, they wouldn't knowingly play in someone else's sandbox without an invitation.

I'm going to stay away from the divorce threads from now on. They make me ill.

I have always blamed myself for my poor choices except the last (currant) one. I chose to be in those relationships and it still has an effect on me. Just chose poorly.

 

[Waveraider]

Three of the most significant breakups in my life, and a few other majorly bad things have happened within a week of my birthday. I still get a little nervous around that time of year even though nothing bad has happened in a while.

My first wife served me with divorce papers on my Birthday 25 years ago. Wanted to Kill her. Still with my second wife for 20 years, and I'm shocked she has decided to keep me.

 

[bwframe]

At this point, I think we can stop blaming the ex-wives and start looking at the individual that picked them.

...

Bad picker myself. Never understood the hot crazy matrix.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Bad picker myself. Never understood the hot crazy matrix.

Maybe try the George Castanza -- Whatever you'd normally do, do the opposite.

 

[churchmouse]

Bad picker myself. Never understood the hot crazy matrix.

Well, Full race Corvette or the base Monti Carlo.
The Vette of course. Until it needs maint. Lots and lots of Maint. Then it near bankrupts you and the Base model starts looking pretty reliable.

 

[gungirl65]

 

[Roland of Gilead]

Oh.....and tomorrow is my Birthday........Happy F%&#in birthday to me

happy F%&#in birthday...really go treat yourself..f#$%it you deserve it.

You lawyered up and that is a great start.

I posted on here when my old lady cheated on me, and it helped. Just to vent is a start, then random strangers giving love does help.

Random people talking s@#$,... that's just INGO, and the way of the world...

As what was said before...there is no.. just getting over it.

I wish it was just that easy some times...

if this is not the case...collect one self and do what is right.

Carry yourself as you have been, with high moral standards. Then you will never betray oneself.

PM me, lets go shooting.


You got this.

 

[88E30M50]

My wife started cheating at around the 26 year point. We are still together at 29 years, but only until the last of the kids is on their own. The upside is that we get along well for most things and when we split, it will be amicable. Every situation is different and what you do is based on what your particular situation demands. During the dark days when she was still cheating, there were some very low times. The turning point for me was when I truly realized that this was her failing, not mine. I do not wish that situation on anybody, but since you find yourself in there now, remember that this is her failure, not yours. Once I crossed that bridge, life moved on and the 10 ton weight you feel on your shoulders right now will start to disappear.

Trust in her will be tough to regain. That's the toughest part of staying together. Even though my wife has promised to stop cheating while we are married, I feel that if the right situation presented itself, she would cheat again. That is what dooms our marriage to the dustbin. But, until the kids are on their own, we will stay married and do get along well.

 

[Birds Away]

My wife started cheating at around the 26 year point. We are still together at 29 years, but only until the last of the kids is on their own. The upside is that we get along well for most things and when we split, it will be amicable. Every situation is different and what you do is based on what your particular situation demands. During the dark days when she was still cheating, there were some very low times. The turning point for me was when I truly realized that this was her failing, not mine. I do not wish that situation on anybody, but since you find yourself in there now, remember that this is her failure, not yours. Once I crossed that bridge, life moved on and the 10 ton weight you feel on your shoulders right now will start to disappear.

Trust in her will be tough to regain. That's the toughest part of staying together. Even though my wife has promised to stop cheating while we are married, I feel that if the right situation presented itself, she would cheat again. That is what dooms our marriage to the dustbin. But, until the kids are on their own, we will stay married and do get along well.

I made a similar decision although I did not share that the divorce was inevitable with her. Once the last kiddo was out the door I told her that was that. She was completely floored that, despite her transgressions, I didn't want to stay married. To this day she holds a grudge. Go figure.

 

[Blown71X]

A very serious thanks to everyone for the support
It has been a pretty rough 3 days so far...What a roller coaster ride with emotions.....I think one of the tougher parts is the quiet and emptiness in the house.

Hangin` on so far...


Thanks
Rick

 

[churchmouse]

A very serious thanks to everyone for the support
It has been a pretty rough 3 days so far...What a roller coaster ride with emotions.....I think one of the tougher parts is the quiet and emptiness in the house.

Hangin` on so far...


Thanks
Rick

Rick,

When the time is right new things will fill that empty space.

 

[mom45]

You are far from alone as any of us have been through this. The roller coaster ride is going to continue for a while, but it will get better.

 

[Leadeye]

Been with mine for 35 years, no issues, guess I made a good choice.

 

[bwframe]

A very serious thanks to everyone for the support
It has been a pretty rough 3 days so far...What a roller coaster ride with emotions.....I think one of the tougher parts is the quiet and emptiness in the house.

Hangin` on so far...


Thanks
Rick

C'mon friend, lets just snap out of it...

[video=youtube_share;1nPPRQeTxTY]http://youtu.be/1nPPRQeTxTY[/video]

 

[1911ly]

A very serious thanks to everyone for the support
It has been a pretty rough 3 days so far...What a roller coaster ride with emotions.....I think one of the tougher parts is the quiet and emptiness in the house.

Hangin` on so far...


Thanks
Rick

I remember the first night at the house alone. It takes getting used to. It get's easier with time. At first I leaned on good friends and family for company. Everything turned out fine. I will admit it didn't seem like it ever would. I can look back now and realize she did me a favor. My situation turned out for the better. I waited a few years (till I got a grip on life) and met another woman. I have had several relationships since. I am a widower now. My last marriage was my "forever" marriage. Ultimately I have had a happy life. I have some great kids!

Best advice I can say is take it day by day. I have been there. Let it all make you stronger. Not hateful or hurtful. Nothing says you have to make her life easy(money and personal property wise) But stay within the boundaries of the law. It will all turn out well. You can make it so!!

Keep hang in there buddy!!

 

[printcraft]

You are far from alone as any of us have been through this. The roller coaster ride is going to continue for a while, but it will get better.

THIS ^^^^^^^^^

It does get better. The empty house will screw with your head for a few months.

Hang with friends, treat yourself to things you enjoy but have been unable to do thusfar.
You'll be amazed at how much free time you have.