Having 5 kids, I've been through this a few times...
My oldest is now 14 and the youngest is 5.
The "age of awareness" of guns usually happens around age 4-5. I make no attempt to hide my guns or gun ownership from them, but I make every question an opportunity to teach gun safety. The lessons change with the age of the child.
My youngest, having much older brothers became aware quite early, probably by age two. I heard him say the word "gun", and I said, "What did you say?" He repeated, "gun." So the the Eddie Eagle training started very early with that one. Eddie Eagle Safety Program Parents can get free materials by calling.
By the time he was three and a half or four he knew all the Eddie Eagle rules by heart and could repeat them back by heart. One day I came home from work and my wife said, " 'Billy' won't go into your bedroom because you left the gun cabinet open." I replied that I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case, but I went to check anyway. Sure enough I had left my reloading supply cabinet open... not the gun cabinet, (gun powder is in yet a different cabinet). It was locked. But it shows the effectiveness of starting early and staying with it.
A year ago he fired the .22 rifle for the first time and really liked it. (Using silent Aguila Colibri ammunition.) My 14 year old doesn't like to shoot. The 12 year old is pretty much autonomous now with .22 rifle and .22 handgun. My 10 year old daughter likes to shoot but still needs help. My 8 year old daughter has been and continues to be pretty much oblivious. So not every child is the same, and at the age of your boys I can totally see them to have a very high level of curiosity.
The key is to teach respect and compliance to the rules, dispel curiosity, and dispel the myths. There is some good advice on that subject here --> Cornered Cat Scroll down and read all of the chapters on kids and guns.
Whenever a young child is handling a gun there must be 100% attention from the parent at less than arms length and immediate gentle correction when the rules aren't being followed. And then make sure they see you follow the rules 100%.
Kathy Jackson's methods (Cornered Cat) are pretty much the way I do it with my kids. When one of them wants to "see" one of my guns we repeat the rules together, then we decide on a safe direction, then we pick up the gun with our finger off the trigger, open the action and make sure it is not loaded (showing them how to check), then we reiterate the safe direction and the "no fingers on the trigger" rule, and then they can hold the gun - action open - for as long as they like. We talk about when we want to shoot a gun we have to take it to a safe place, like the shooting range, or whatever else comes up.
I also have something they can shoot at the range. Age 4-6 is usually when they shoot for the first time... with A LOT of supervision.
Safe storage of guns and ammunition is essential. Think in terms of "layers" of protection that fit your needs. Very basic and very inexpensive but effective security consists of storing and locking ammunition separate from firearms, and cable locks or pad locks that prevent the gun from being loaded.
REMEMBER, the lock is only as secure as the key, and as Massad Ayoob likes to say, you child literally has YEARS to find all of your hiding places... for guns and the keys. Don't leave things to chance.
I HATE TRIGGER LOCKS. Most of the time they don't prevent the gun from being loaded. Plus if they don't fit properly or are not installed correctly, the gun can still be fired.
When it comes to "anger management" this is the type of education that happens every day as parents. We help our children find ways to resolve conflicts in positive ways. Yes, I do understand how challenging this is, and it's not always wise to step into the middle of every squabble -- they have to learn how to get through these things. I sometimes do a "slow motion replay" so they can learn about cause and effect, and with the older kids I sometimes immediately point out when I feel their words or actions were just meant to antagonize and provoke. And like all parents I wonder if I'm getting through.
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