Aliens, and what to do when you meet them

[Archaic_Entity]

So I don't know how often this topic comes up, but it's a pretty well accepted thought that there is alien life. There's also a pretty good chance that there is intelligent and, possibly, more advanced alien life out there.

So... how do we handle that if we come into contact? Stephen Hawking pretty much believes that if we come into contact with them, they'll most likely just harvest our resources or, as he says (?) himself, "If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.” (Source)
But let's assume he's wrong and they make peaceful contact... what do you do if you're the first one they talk to? This chart has some good ideas: http://futuresaurus.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/first-contact-alien-chart.png

Now, I know it's kind of a jokey looking thing, but as far as I can tell it seems like it's not too far off how I'd go at demonstrating we're intelligent.

So... what would you do to help prove we're smart folks?

Some things I considered beyond what he shows:
After showing some basic math and the right triangle
1) Showing how to find a hypotenuse of a right triangle
2) Showing how to find pi, and what pi is in relationship to a circle
3) Basic understanding of atomic theory and chemistry (I would probably just show a hydrogen atom, an oxygen atom, and then combining them to make water)

Also... how would you show them how to do whatever you do?

 

[hooky]

In alien cultures, a protractor is a phallic symbol and the equivalent saying "I had your Mom last night." You've just sealed the fate of mankind and proved Hawking to be correct.

 

[Bummer]

I say kill 'em and eat 'em.

The American Indians didn't kill and eat the Europeans, and look how it turned out for them.

(Only about half kidding.)

 

[sgreen3]

Good topic, I like talkin aliens........... I dont think beings that have made there way billions of light years are going to be very impressed by simple geometry, but maybe. I would have a feeling they would be able to take care of any language barriers between us. But I do belive in other life, simple #'s support the idea for sure. But honestly I dont think anyone would really know how to handle or what they would do in a situation such as this, But would be amazing for sure, providing they are not hostile. I would hope that we as a species wouldnt act ten kinds of retarted at first an try an kill them first before we had a chance to find out there intentions. But I have a feeling a race of beings able to transverse the cosmos to even find us, probably already know everything they need to know about us.

 

[singlesix]

.

 

[victor 1971]

hey buddy buy the book, alien interview and then get back to me......also, look what a swedish shipwreck search team found with sonar in june.....its in the baltic sea. open your mind. just google it....i hope it isnt real....our guns may be useless...no matter how bad ass we think we are.

 

[.452browning]

How do we know they understand triangles and pi? Maybe drawing a triangle is their symbol for war. How do they know what pi is? They say math is the language of the universe. How do we know that? Have we already talked to alien life and they confirmed we were right or are we just taking a SWAG at it? (scientific wild a$$ guess). Perhaps math theories we thought were correct are actually wrong. Maybe there system of math, science, and physics is different than ours?.........What if they are really really stupid and were shot into deep space because there so dumb they ruin it for everybody else?

 

[ghunter]

Let them taste some bacon, then wash it down with some really good beer, and they'll know that we're not complete savages.

 

[sbcman]

Forget all the math and geometry stuff. Put them in front of the tube and start off showing clips of the first Russian satellite, then us landing on the moon. Follow this up with Star Trek (first series, preferably). Then show them Close Encounters and Independence Day and tell them, "this can go easy for you or hard for you." They should leave shortly thereafter.

 

[halfmileharry]

"Pick a card...any card"

 

[AngryRooster]

Do they taste like chicken or are they all slimey?

 

[buford t justice]

If it turns out like it did for the native americans,do we have to live on reservations in run down house trailers and drink a lot of fire water.

 

[jmiller676]

Let them taste some bacon, then wash it down with some really good beer, and they'll know that we're not complete savages.

 

[jmiller676]

And if they don't like bacon or beer they can all get the hell out. Or will happen.

 

[bobzilla]

Well, did they come onto your property uninvited? Did they make any threatening movements? Make sure you double tap to te chest and one to the head.....

 

[sentinelrepublic]

Crazy scenario to think about. I doubt theres too much intruders could do...successully, wait, they would probably be able to e.m.p us to defensive impotence without destroying rescources.

I bet theres a plan to put crosshairs on any vessel that comes in our orbit (nukes)....then just wait to see where diplomacey goes....I bet they'd just want their scout ships back that they lost in the 50's!

 

[sonofagun]

How do we know they understand triangles and pi? Maybe drawing a triangle is their symbol for war. How do they know what pi is? They say math is the language of the universe. How do we know that? Have we already talked to alien life and they confirmed we were right or are we just taking a SWAG at it? (scientific wild a$$ guess). Perhaps math theories we thought were correct are actually wrong. Maybe there system of math, science, and physics is different than ours?.........What if they are really really stupid and were shot into deep space because there so dumb they ruin it for everybody else?

There are universal truths that must be understood by intelligent beings for technology to advance.

That is why I am more concerned about the Zombification of the world by some as yet undiscovered microbe/disease before I would worry myself about an alien encounter.

 

[Sailor]

If they made it to earth, then they can tell how intelligent we are from orbit. Little more math is used to make a bridge or hoover dam than explainingpi R squared.

 

[RockofStrength]

Sneeze on 'em. Works every time.

 

[buford t justice]

If they make it to earth from some star trillions of miles away and realize we have never even made to the next planet in our solar system they will probably view us in the same way we would look at tadpoles in a pond.