Always Carry Cash..............

[JCSR]

This morning I enjoyed coffee, water, an El Montery Breakfast burrito and a half a banana. Only a degen would eat a whole banana of course.
A little later I hopped into the F-150 for a trip to Rural King. About 5 mins. out I feel a rumbling in the tummy. Soon the cramps are coming faster as sweat breaks out on my forehead. When the contractions reach 30 seconds I know I'm not making it to RK without a pitstop.
Quickly I slid in to a shady gas station and made my way to a single dirty stall in the rear. As soon as I'm in place the heaven's open up and relief was almost instant.
Feeling better about my day I get ready to finish up and notice there is NO TOILET PAPER! Not even one square left in the corner, nothing!
A quick assessment of the situation reveals I have $14 in my wallet. A ten and 4 ones. So $4 later I'm on my way to RK. Try that with a credit card!
ALWAYS CARRY CASH

 

[Cavman]

This morning I enjoyed coffee, water, an El Montery Breakfast burrito and a half a banana. Only a degen would eat a whole banana of course.
A little later I hopped into the F-150 for a trip to Rural King. About 5 mins. out I feel a rumbling in the tummy. Soon the cramps are coming faster as sweat breaks out on my forehead. When the contractions reach 30 seconds I know I'm not making it to RK without a pitstop.
Quickly I slid in to a shady gas station and made my way to a single dirty stall in the rear. As soon as I'm in place the heaven's open up and relief was almost instant.
Feeling better about my day I get ready to finish up and notice there is NO TOILET PAPER! Not even one square left in the corner, nothing!
A quick assessment of the situation reveals I have $14 in my wallet. A ten and 4 ones. So $4 later I'm on my way to RK. Try that with a credit card!
ALWAYS CARRY CASH

And proof our money is barley worth crap its printed on

 

[R3p1lc3]

In a "worst-case" scenario, I've been known to turn the undies into a shop rag, a sock, whatever.. usually for 4$ you can get 10-12rolls

 

[Ingomike]

And proof our money is barley worth crap its printed on

I thought it was proof our money was just worth crap?

 

[AndreusMaximus]

...and a half a banana. Only a degen would eat a whole banana of course.

I think I've finally reached the point on INGO where I can start picking up on some of these subtler references.

 

[Magyars]

This morning I enjoyed coffee, water, an El Montery Breakfast burrito and a half a banana. Only a degen would eat a whole banana of course.
A little later I hopped into the F-150 for a trip to Rural King. About 5 mins. out I feel a rumbling in the tummy. Soon the cramps are coming faster as sweat breaks out on my forehead. When the contractions reach 30 seconds I know I'm not making it to RK without a pitstop.
Quickly I slid in to a shady gas station and made my way to a single dirty stall in the rear. As soon as I'm in place the heaven's open up and relief was almost instant.
Feeling better about my day I get ready to finish up and notice there is NO TOILET PAPER! Not even one square left in the corner, nothing!
A quick assessment of the situation reveals I have $14 in my wallet. A ten and 4 ones. So $4 later I'm on my way to RK. Try that with a credit card!
ALWAYS CARRY CASH

Always wear a shirt with long-tail. And have a knife!

 

[Colt556]

I always wear a t shirt under my shirt.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

Always carry a knife, you never know when you'll have to cut yourself free from a mess. I gave this advice to my son years ago due to lived experience. I also firmly believe a grown man should always carry a handkerchief. My wife insists this is some old man nonsense...until she needs to borrow it.

 

[snorko]

I was in Moscow in 1989. I did not realize the old lady at the front of the public bathroom was there to sell you TP. I had an attack of the Trotzkies and after relieving myself found no paper to be had. Tear up your underwear and you get 3-4 good pieces.

 

[Shadow01]

Reminds me of the steakhouse incident

 

[smokingman]

In a "worst-case" scenario, I've been known to turn the undies into a shop rag, a sock, whatever.. usually for 4$ you can get 10-12rolls

Not sure of the quality of TP you buy. Charmin 12 roll pack will set you back 15+ dollars these days. Pre pandemic, sure 4 dollars was a decent amount of TP. Now, 4 dollars will not get you even 4 rolls.

 

[joe138]

Always carry wipes in the vehicle.

 

[Bstarkey_46947]

My handkerchief isn't always used to wipe my nose. T-shirt for back-up. Socks are last ditch.

 

[jerrob]

Emergency away games are the worst. An unfamiliar playing field with no one cheering for ya and to top it off, the equipment manager didn't get a copy of the revised schedule.
A $h!tty situation for sure, but at least you're not one of the Washington quadruplets.

 

[foszoe]

This morning I enjoyed coffee, water, an El Montery Breakfast burrito and a half a banana. Only a degen would eat a whole banana of course.
A little later I hopped into the F-150 for a trip to Rural King. About 5 mins. out I feel a rumbling in the tummy. Soon the cramps are coming faster as sweat breaks out on my forehead. When the contractions reach 30 seconds I know I'm not making it to RK without a pitstop.
Quickly I slid in to a shady gas station and made my way to a single dirty stall in the rear. As soon as I'm in place the heaven's open up and relief was almost instant.
Feeling better about my day I get ready to finish up and notice there is NO TOILET PAPER! Not even one square left in the corner, nothing!
A quick assessment of the situation reveals I have $14 in my wallet. A ten and 4 ones. So $4 later I'm on my way to RK. Try that with a credit card!
ALWAYS CARRY CASH

I wish I were that rich....

or did you rinse them in the sink and put them back in your wallet? The least you could have done was bought a drink and a snack.

I find it easier to just carry a roll of toilet paper in all vehicles.

 

[rosejm]

And now you all know why you should never put cash in your mouth and always wash up after handling.

 

[ghuns]

Always carry wipes in the vehicle.

In the cars, in coat pockets, the go bag, etc.

Hell, given my age and marital status, one of these in wallet is far more useful than keeping a condom in there...

 

[Basher]

Always wear a shirt with long-tail. And have a knife!

And always carry a plunger, in case the poor turd before you had to use THEIR sock/shirt, whatever…

 

[foszoe]

https://www.amazon.com/Compressed-Tablet-Camping-Bathroom-Outdoor/dp/B073XKSYLM

That's what I carry for emergencies. they are also in all my BOBs.

 

[Ark]

Broke: Salvaging your underwear and other clothing for TP.

Woke: Realizing the urinal is just a stand up bidet.