Bullying in school

[HoughMade]

Bullying bad. Kid's shouldn't...

...but it would be REALLY nice if we also taught our kids how to cope with adversity rather than rescue them from it.

[video=youtube;ElU3NfyDPjg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElU3NfyDPjg[/video]

 

[WebSnyper]

Bullying bad. Kid's shouldn't...

...but it would be REALLY nice if we also taught our kids how to cope with adversity rather than rescue them from it.

[video=youtube;ElU3NfyDPjg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElU3NfyDPjg[/video]

Agreed, and there are some good points on all the PC garbage going on in that video. My problem has always been with teaching them to fight back fairly vs picking up whatever they could lay their hands on and ending the fight

 

[hoosierdoc]

You can’t use bullying as an excuse aanymore because someone realized that is blaming the victims for causing the shooting. As was said before, bullying has been around forever. School shootings have not

 

[actaeon277]

I think that's one huge difference between when most of us were kids and what kids deal with today. School bullies could only bully at school, but now with all the social media, online games, and connectivity all the time they can bully any time of the day. It's not physical bullying, it's the social bullying and it's incredibly difficult to get away from while still connecting with friends.

I've said it before and will say it again, I'm glad I was a kid before cell phones, Facebook, and all this mess.

There's that, and if the bullied kid fights back, they seem to come down harder on the bullied kid.

I remember my parents reaction when a teacher wanted them to "do something" because I was a bad boy and got in a fight.
My role in the fight was a punching bag.
But the teacher said "It takes 2 to fight, so I'm at fault".
My father told the teacher ... well, don't think I can remember it word for word, and it was pretty INGO unfriendly.

 

[actaeon277]

Bullying bad. Kid's shouldn't...

...but it would be REALLY nice if we also taught our kids how to cope with adversity rather than rescue them from it.

[video=youtube;ElU3NfyDPjg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElU3NfyDPjg[/video]

We deny kids that.
They are taught NOT to fight back. To go get a teacher. Then the teacher does nothing.

 

[Hoosierkav]

...
A bullied kid that has no friends to turn to, no support, and gets re-enforced over and over how bleak and pointless life is to them... that is probably a higher risk. School systems aren't helping.
...

I read an article last year that hit on this exact point. Label a kid a bully when he's in first grade and everything he does will be viewed through that lens, which reinforces his bully-ness... since everyone thinks he is one, he might as well act the part. He gets ostracized, and ends up hanging out with the other ostracized kids, who are also classified as bullies... a powerful group of bullies emerges, and continues all through his academic career.

Instead of calling any and every anti-social behavior as bullying, let's work to strengthen kids' ability to stand up to anti-social behaviors instead of running to a teacher to solve the problem 30 minutes later by slapping a label on the other kid.

 

[1911ly]

Bullying bad. Kid's shouldn't...

...but it would be REALLY nice if we also taught our kids how to cope with adversity rather than rescue them from it.

[video=youtube;ElU3NfyDPjg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElU3NfyDPjg[/video]

That video is so spot on.

The new generation of PC correctness and everyone gets a trophy kids are at a serious disadvantage in the real world. Some times your going to get a kick in the junk or not have the special something or someone you want. Life is going to suck at times. It's never going to be a good life if you can't deal with an imperfect world.

I was bullied in school for being a "nerd". I took some of it until it turned very violent towards me. I guarantee I would have been permanently expelled today for some of the ass whopping I dealt way way back then. I broke a kids nose that sucker punched me. I slammed another kids head threw a locker door for flipping the desk I was setting in. He ended up in the hospital for a few days with a concussion. There are a few other stories I could tell. I was raised to not be a bully but never to be bullied. I would have gotten my ass whooped for bullying. I never got in trouble when I got home for self defense (my boy is raised the same way). But I got in trouble for the wrong things I did. And for not showing respect, to my family and those around me.

Was a raise perfect. I hardly think so. My dad was a drunk and an abusive one at that. I was not spoiled in any sense of the word. I am where I am at in life because I took advantage of the good influences around me in life. I got away from the bad. I never played the victim card. I fought back at those that physically hurt me when I felt it was the right thing to do. Including knocking my dad on his ass when I turned 18 and decided it was time to stand my ground and he had hit me for way I considered the "last time". FWIW he never came close to touching me after that. I did not stick a knife in him or shoot him. Those were not the options I would have easily thought of back then.

A lot of the bully's I grew up around have a rough life these days. A few are dead. 2 were murdered while in prison. Another was shot a few weeks after he got out of prison. Twice actually. Last time finished the job. Turns out his wife paid someone to do it. What would drive someone to lead a life like that? I know from experience with these kids that is was zero discipline at home. I grew up with them. I know it first hand. Some of those kids have grown up to be good people and I have heard a few I am so sorry's.

I am a single dad. I talk to my son everyday about his day. Everyday. Do my best to know what he is thinking and I know where he is 90% of the time. Does that mean he will never do something harmful? I can't promise that. But I do know I know more about him then most of his friends parents know about their kids. There is no doubt he has done things I would not approve of. And there are things he has done wrong that I would not condone. But I have tried to influence him with positive things. He is 17 now. I have never been called in to the school for behavior issues. The my family and friend always remark about how polite he is.

I care about him (my son) and and I want him to be a good man. A better man then me hopefully. I am hopeful I have done well. But I have no illusions of being the perfect father either. I know I am a better father then my dad was. Hopefully he will be a better man/father then me.

My son hears the words I love you and I am proud of you everyday. He also hears when I am not happy too. When he screws up he know it. And yes, he had had a few butt whippings. But just a few. I do hear "I love you dad often", so hopefully I am doing well as a father.

 

[rhino]

I think I've said this before on here, but I've definitely said it in real life (often to a hostile audience).

The most important difference I see between what kids experience today and what most of us who are over 35 or so faced is that today's world is a far more target rich environment for bullies. Bullies always have and always will exist. Why bullies engage in their "hobby" varies widely from what I have seen, but there is a common denominator that is almost universal. Bullies seek those whom they perceive to be weaker than they are.

So what is different now? Children are, in general, raised to be far weaker emotionally than their predecessors. Everyone is a winner, there are no losers, there is little genuine competition, expectations are incredibly low if they exist at all, there are few if any consequences for bad behavior, no one is responsible for anything, etc. etc. etc. The end result is a couple of generations overpopulated by weaklings and *******.

There is more bullying because bullies have more potential victims. Weakness abounds.

We don't just need to raise our children to not bully, we need to raise them to be strong, confident, capable, responsible, proud, and brave. A big part of that is setting boundaries, accountability, responsibility, learning to make good decisions by experiencing both reward and consequence, etc. etc. The same things we need to do for kids will make them both less likely to be victims as well as less likely to be bullies.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

...bullying has been around forever. School shootings have not

Yes, they have. School shootings go back centuries. This isn't new.

 

[churchmouse]

Yes, they have. School shootings go back centuries. This isn't new.

MSM puts this in our faces 24/7. I am sure this has something to do with the nutcrackers seeking 15 minutes.

 

[actaeon277]

MSM puts this in our faces 24/7. I am sure this has something to do with the nutcrackers seeking 15 minutes.

Well, ALL of the media.

 

[target64]

I found out this week my grandson went from being the picked on kid at school, to being the bully. His recent activities have positioned him for life changing events in his future.

 

[Thor]

Anyone can look back and blame events for their actions. That is a false cover. It is their choices and actions that count. Fight back, don't become the bully. These are things I had to learn on my own...I may have strayed from the path occasionally but I learned. I didn't want to get bullied, but I also didn't want to lose friends. If you are forcing someone to be your friend, or are hurting them as you were once hurt, they are not your friend because they want to be.

-break- target64 talk to your grandson, make him understand the difference. It's easy to misunderstand the difference between defense and dominance when you are young.

 

[Milkshakeed]

This is a good way to teach your kids not to bully. Be creative.

https://www.facebook.com/NowThisNews/videos/1848969311859851/?comment_id=1849098845180231

 

[drawer86]

Why in the world would any sane person send their kids to gov't run shooting galleries?

 

[churchmouse]

Why in the world would any sane person send their kids to gov't run shooting galleries?

Some folks just have no other options.
My kids went to a private school and looking back it was wide open. But in the mid 90's school massacres were not commonplace.

 

[churchmouse]

This is a good way to teach your kids not to bully. Be creative.

https://www.facebook.com/NowThisNews/videos/1848969311859851/?comment_id=1849098845180231

This guy is getting hammered by the snowflake soccer mom crowd. This is the real issue with our world.

 

[actaeon277]

This guy is getting hammered by the snowflake soccer mom crowd. This is the real issue with our world.

They want a "safe" world, but don't want what it takes.

 

[dsol]

I always told my kids that bullying was unacceptable, it would not be tolerated one single bit. They were welcome to end it if being bullied and I would back them 100%, but God help them if it were the other way around. I encouraged them to be friendly to everyone, especially the ones that seemed out of the normal little high school cliques, sat by themselves, stuff like that. My daughter was one of the popular kids, in all sorts of sports and activities, straight A's, etc... and she went out of her way more than once. She is 21 now and still has a kind heart to everyone. My son wasn't as involved, small group of friends, and doesn't care if someone is popular or not, he will hang out with anyone.

In middle school, he was getting picked on by some kid and backed into a corner. Before a couple of his friends could come over, he hauled off and decked the kid in the nose. My wife and I got the call about the fight and I headed to the school ready to go to town on some dork administrator that would be suspending him when they surprised me. They told us it was all on security video and obvious he was not the aggressor and they weren't taking any action against him. I was shocked, and a little disappointed I didn't get to make some school counselor cry... he said he was looking forward to seeing that too.

I found out this week my grandson went from being the picked on kid at school, to being the bully. His recent activities have positioned him for life changing events in his future.

 

[BlimpDriver]

The Bullies got it handed to them after school in the 70’s. School officials have made the students afraid to settle things one on one. I had a few battles with fellow students and went on to be a very productive member of society. If you were s punk in my High School, the decent students kicked your butt. Parents need to understand, kids can take care of themselves, give them s chance to do it one on one.