Children with Facebook

[Darral27]

Had a situation today that really got me going.
I have a step daughter that is 11 years old. She has been asking for a while now to get a Facebook page, all her friends have a page so she should too. Every time she asks her mom says no. Well today her mom was on facebook and noticed her daughter had became FB friends with my two nieces. Turns out she had been getting online during a after school program she attends at the local YMCA. My wife immediately calls the Y and asks about it and they said she is online now. My wife tells them she is not supposed to have a FB page and they need to take her off of the computer. 15 minutes or so later I show up to pick her up, just to take her home so we can talk to her about what she did and why it is wrong to disobey. While we are walking out the door some lady that works or volunteers there tells my step daughter that she should just make her page private. I did not like that so proceed to tell the lady again that she is not allowed per her parents to have a page so no need to make anything private. The lady persists to me that she should be allowed to have a private page. I tell the lady to mind her own business. The lady follows me out the door continuing to tell me how my children should be raised. At this point I have had enough. Loudly tell her to mind her own damn business and leave.
Point is what is wrong with people these days? If parents see something as being innapropriate for their child should other people not respect that.
Just venting. Thanks for allowing me.

 

[Gabriel]

Wow.

 

[Sylvain]

I wouldn't let my kids have a FB page either.
You see so many people putting so much info on their own page, even adults.

I have one but it's private, I dont use my real name, no adress or even country etc ... and I keep it private too.

Even with that I feel like my life is exposed.

 

[mrjarrell]

Bear in mind that Facebook rules disallow anyone under 13 from having a page, that might make explaining it to her easier. For what that's worth. If your daughter has a page now and you guys don't want her to have one, you're going to have to go on and delete the one she has.

 

[ralphb72]

Our 11 year old does not do FB either. Their own terms and conditions say 13 and older. He has email, but we monitor it. Of course what they do outside the house is the hard part, I would think they would be supportive of your rules, not helping to hide it. Tell her supervisor!

 

[geronimojoe85]

What's your deal bro, everybody has a Facebook page.
Clearly this lady knows how to raise kids better than you do, she is a woman after all.


The above statements should be in purple.

Ok, in all seriousness. I'd probably call the Y later and let the management know. It's completely absurd and way over the line for this fine lady to do this. But that's how society is these days, you don't know what's good for you or your family.

 

[Sylvain]

Our 11 year old does not do FB either. Their own terms and conditions say 13 and older. He has email, but we monitor it. Of course what they do outside the house is the hard part, I would think they would be supportive of your rules, not helping to hide it. Tell her supervisor!

I think internet and kids is just like guns and kids.
You cant put a lock on every gun on the planet, you can just lock your own guns at home.So the most important is to teach your kid about online safety, what not to say online and such.

 

[canav844]

Bear in mind that Facebook rules disallow anyone under 13 from having a page, that might make explaining it to her easier.

It's not just a facebook rule for a child to have an account under the age of 13 there are federal laws that require parental consent. Look up COPPA and present the YMCA with their violation, and then encouraging the child to defy her parents.

You're the parent you know what's right for your kid and if they're old enough to understand everything you put anywhere on the internet is public forever; and if they'll be able to understand they need to handle that when interviewing for a job 20 years down the road, and any Facebook page with a real name and any statuses that give me a state and I can 9 out of 10 times give you a google street view picture of the front yard in under 30minutes using free public records searches; keeping that level of obscurity is hard for an 11 year old just trying to fit in.

And I will tell you you're not the only one with a duaghter wanting to get on social networking, I have friend who's daughter is 13 and "fell in love a boy" she met in a chat room and who had created a FB page less than two week prior, and I promptly flagged the mother with the FBI's information page explaining the child predator 101 and that 13 year old has much stricter rules about being able to use the internet and social networking now.

 

[sbcman]

I honestly don't know what the deal is with people trying to tell others how to raise their kids. Maybe they failed so miserably with their own they try to make up for it vicariously through others.

Case in point. In my line of work, we attend a lot of funerals. My wife and I decided that we were going to tell our kids that the folks in the casket were, in fact, dead. Twice we've had people at funeral homes tell our children that the people are just sleeping. The first time it occurred my youngest (5 at that time) looked at me to which I said, "no, they're dead." This followed with banter back and forth between me and this person, which is fantastic at funeral homes. The second time it occurred my youngest (5 at the time) was told, "oh, they're just sort of sleeping." To which she responded, somewhat loudly, "nope, he looks dead to me!"

That's my girl!

 

[PistolBob]

My memberships to the Y would be canceled right now. It's bad enough the kids have to have social security numbers at birth, I sure as hell wouldn't let them on the internet for anything. Yeah...I'm that mean.

 

[Shelly1582]

Wow. I would definitely speak to someone at the Y and let them know that someone representing them has some serious boundary issues.

 

[sgreen3]

Nothing at all wrong with not wanting your kids to have a facebook, And its your right to decide what yor kids do and dont do. Just a shame to here of something like that at the Y kind of makes you re-think about who are you leaving your kids with

 

[clt46910]

My daughter is 14, I do not allow her to have a Face Book page either. I do not feel she is mature enough at this time in her life to be careful with it. Plus I do limit her time online and in front of the TV.

Kids do not come with instruction books. As parents we each try and do the best we can. I am a single older male parent. I get a lot of people tell me I am to strict with my daughter. She is not running the streets, she keeps good grades, and I always know where she is and who she is with.

I hate it when people go behind my back to try and get her to disobey me. The worst are my own sisters at times. If you knew their history you would understand why I would never listen to them.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Damn, my mouth was hanging open as I read that. My son's 15 now, but he was at the Y program in elementary school. I wouldn't have expected to hear that kind of thing there, and I know some of the Y people and would never expect that. Yeah, what they do outside the home is hard to control, especially with people like that influencing her. You need to sit her down, delete that page, explain the privacy thing, explain the 13 year old thing and how it's not necessarily Ok even then, and make sure the Y people know who's working for them. I'd hope they'd not approve of that attitude, and if they do, I'd look into alternatives.

 

[SmileDocHill]

I'm not familiar with SOP and protocol at the "Y" but you really should talk to someone in management. This is a basic fundamental training issue that every business owner worries about when they put employees and volunteers out in "the field", knowing that they represent the organization. "The YMCA", at some level, SHOULD want to know about this.

 

[Darral27]

I did make her sign onto her page when she got home. Her mom reviewed all emails and posts and deleted the page. The problem is all she would have to do is log in to reactivate her page. She will no longer be going to the Y and I thought it may be a good idea to calm down a bit before contacting anybody in management. I was a bit upset at the moment I was picking her up.

 

[88GT]

I did make her sign onto her page when she got home. Her mom reviewed all emails and posts and deleted the page. The problem is all she would have to do is log in to reactivate her page. She will no longer be going to the Y and I thought it may be a good idea to calm down a bit before contacting anybody in management. I was a bit upset at the moment I was picking her up.

I bet you could contact FB and have them permanently delete the account and perhaps prevent another one with that email account being set up.

Good for you for ix-naying the Y. I hope she enjoyed going there. That will be the best consequence she could have for disobedience.

 

[Kedric]

I would never allow a child of mine to have a FB page. Hell, I don't have a FB page as I think the whole social networking, game playing, intrusion of privacy thing is pathetic. Even if folks do give up their privacy voluntarily, it just shows their lack of intelligence and common sense, IMO.

Not that I am particularly surprised by that, of course

 

[Shelly1582]

I would never allow a child of mine to have a FB page. Hell, I don't have a FB page as I think the whole social networking, game playing, intrusion of privacy thing is pathetic. Even if folks do give up their privacy voluntarily, it just shows their lack of intelligence and common sense, IMO.

Not that I am particularly surprised by that, of course

We're using a form of social networking right now. Social networking is not a bad thing, it is an advancement that benefits many. What is bad is not realizing what is appropriate information to share and what is not. You must use good judgement in any public communication. IMO

 

[Kedric]

We're using a form of social networking right now. Social networking is not a bad thing, it is an advancement that benefits many. What is bad is not realizing what is appropriate information to share and what is not. You must use good judgement in any public communication. IMO

Yeah we are, and I agree that networking is not evil in and of itself, which is why I added in some of the other facets of FB, the games and such Trying to be everything to everyone (hmmm that sounds familiar)

I think part (most?) of what gets me about FB is the lack of responsibility, both by the majority of users, and the owners.

Folks always seem so shocked that I don't have FB. I am beginning to feel like I am the only person under the age of 80 or something in America who doesn't have one!