Children with Facebook

[Shelly1582]

Yeah we are, and I agree that networking is not evil in and of itself, which is why I added in some of the other facets of FB, the games and such Trying to be everything to everyone (hmmm that sounds familiar)

I think part (most?) of what gets me about FB is the lack of responsibility, both by the majority of users, and the owners.

Folks always seem so shocked that I don't have FB. I am beginning to feel like I am the only person under the age of 80 or something in America who doesn't have one!

It's not for everyone, but it certainly has it's benefits. Great way to spread information quickly. Especially in the cases of a missing children, lost pets, or even identifying suspects of a crime. Read an article about LE using Facebook to identify and apprehend a while back. It really made sense.

 

[88GT]

Yeah we are, and I agree that networking is not evil in and of itself, which is why I added in some of the other facets of FB, the games and such Trying to be everything to everyone (hmmm that sounds familiar)

I think part (most?) of what gets me about FB is the lack of responsibility, both by the majority of users, and the owners.

Folks always seem so shocked that I don't have FB. I am beginning to feel like I am the only person under the age of 80 or something in America who doesn't have one!

You're so quick to judge. Is there any other facet of American life that doesn't exhibit the same level of irresponsibility by the same group of people?

 

[GunSlinger]

Had a situation today that really got me going.
I have a step daughter that is 11 years old. She has been asking for a while now to get a Facebook page, all her friends have a page so she should too. Every time she asks her mom says no. Well today her mom was on facebook and noticed her daughter had became FB friends with my two nieces. Turns out she had been getting online during a after school program she attends at the local YMCA. My wife immediately calls the Y and asks about it and they said she is online now. My wife tells them she is not supposed to have a FB page and they need to take her off of the computer. 15 minutes or so later I show up to pick her up, just to take her home so we can talk to her about what she did and why it is wrong to disobey. While we are walking out the door some lady that works or volunteers there tells my step daughter that she should just make her page private. I did not like that so proceed to tell the lady again that she is not allowed per her parents to have a page so no need to make anything private. The lady persists to me that she should be allowed to have a private page. I tell the lady to mind her own business. The lady follows me out the door continuing to tell me how my children should be raised. At this point I have had enough. Loudly tell her to mind her own damn business and leave.
Point is what is wrong with people these days? If parents see something as being innapropriate for their child should other people not respect that.
Just venting. Thanks for allowing me.

Wow, some people are just so blissfully unaware of their own arrogance! You gave her two more opportunities to mind her own business than I likely would have. My first response would have been "excuse me but what did you say??", and after that any response would have been laced with 'colorful metafores'.

 

[Ragenarok007]

I use my special talents to show friends how I can find them using only the information that is already public on their profiles. They are usually shocked to find out everything they inadvertently divulge. License plates, for example. If you are playing a game of horse with your kids in the driveway, make sure that you block out your license plate in the pictures. Furthermore, don't ever make pictures of children public for any reason.

Personally, I don't put any information on facebook. Those who know me already know everything about me that they need to. You might have 500 friends of facebook but I can pretty much guarantee they don't all need to know where you had lunch today.

 

[JohnP82]

I give you credit, you kept your cool way better than I would have! If an adult was trying to help my son disobey me like that, especially right in front of me, oh there would be a scene! And my son would sure as hell never have contact with that person again.

I'm almost 30 and I have never had a FB page. I'm not missing anything!

 

[Mike H]

Def. talk to YMCA mgt. about this issue.
I had a FB page for about 2 weeks. Then had FB delete my acct.
FB was not for me.

 

[RockofStrength]

Make sure you didn't just deactivate that account. Facebook makes you jump through more hoops and tricks than the dolphins at the zoo to actually delete the darn things.

Go here:

https://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account

And once you've told it to delete the account make sure you don't do ANYTHING with it at all. No "like" buttons on other websites, no mobile apps, nothing. After 2-3 weeks the page will completely vanish.

Also, if that doesn't work for some reason, google it. There are in-depth guides out to get you through all the garbage and obstacles Facebook puts in your way.

 

[7th Stepper]

I agree completely with what everyone else has said, and yes, you handled yourself very well when it came to the Noseybody who was trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't do/allow regarding your own child. My reaction would have been far worse, and probably far more vocal. (I SpeedB**** very well! )

I don't have a FB page either, but our daughter does, but then again she's very aware of what to, and not to post, and most of her stuff is marked "private" and the other person has to know the passcode to get into that area of her page. She's also an adult, and we've taught her the ins and outs of what to, and not to say, for her own safety.

One thing I learned the other day is that there is a VERY REAL scam going on right now on FB, that not only do all the LEO's know about, but the FBI is getting involved in as well.

It's a scam run by (at the moment) some unknowns, who get what info they need off a childs FB page (or even a parents) and then target the grandparents, or older relatives, using a teen, who sounds hysterical, crying and carrying on, not making a whole lot of sense, saying they're in Mexico (Canada, a different state, take your pick) and that they've been arrested for drug possession and are in jail. This person acts terrified, says they haven't done anything wrong, and need to have money wired to a Bondsman (who's part of the scam) to get them released. The usual amount asked for is $2500., and it needs to be wired right away or something awful is going to happen to them. If it's the grandparents they get ahold of, they usually act before thinking it thru, and run right out and wire the money to where the child/person has told them to wire it to. Eventually they find out after calling the parents (which IMO should have been done first) to tell them about the call and the trouble their child is in, and find out that the child is just fine, and either at home, or at a friends house.

I have checked with our local PD, and also the Sheriffs office and they informed me that this has been going on for about 6 months now, and people have lost thousands and thousands of dollars by falling for this routine. So be VERY aware if you get a call like this, it is literally a very real SCAM, and they're trying to bilk you out of whatever amount of money they can.

The FBI is involved as well, since the scam crosses several state lines on who and where their targets live. This makes it a Federal Offense, and a Felony (Extortion) when they catch the SOB's who're doing this.

You're very correct in not allowing your child access to FB, at least until she's old enough to understand that once it's on the Net, it's everywhere and ANYONE can find out what they want to know, they just have to know how to do it. They're also investigating FB for Kiddy Porn and the usual variety of Pedophiles who pretend to be young kids who want to meet others and make friends, or young boys who're looking for a girlfriend they can "hook up with".

So be aware, be VERY aware, that FB is one of the largest Predator (of all varieties) sites on the Net.

Just thought I'd pass that along, as info you need to know to keep your kids safe.

Be careful, and our prayers are with you that your daughter stays safe and listens to you. At that age they tend to blow you off as being "old fashioned", mistaking that for simple experience.

7th Stepper

 

[Darral27]

Thanks for the info Rock. I will get started on that today. I was not sure where this thread would lead but am glad to see that I am not the not the only one who thinks this lady didn't just overstep her bounds but jumped right through them. Every parent must make their own decisions on what they think is best the children in their home. Any adult that would try to over rule that relationship is way out of bounds.

 

[beararms1776]

Point is what is wrong with people these days? If parents see something as being innapropriate for their child should other people not respect that.
Just venting. Thanks for allowing me.

I don't blame you at all.
Someone else wants to raise your child while their living with the parent. What's their contribution, "problems". Mention any kind of financial support and watch em explode.
BTW, did you ask her how much she was giving you for groceries for the week?

 

[Darral27]

Update to the situation.

I called up to the Y today to speak with a manager about what happened. The lady that answered the phone advised me there was no manager available but that she was the member coordinator and should be able to assist me. I tell the story of what happened and after I FINISH she advises me that she was the lady that was involved and begins to tell me that she did not say she should make the page private and did not follow me out the door. Go figure. I find it highly unprofessional that she would listen to the my complaint about her. I work in customer service and would immediately hand that call off to somebody else or advise the caller whom they were speaking with. Is it really so tough to find good employees these days that these are the people they have supervising our children. I am going in there at 7am when they open and speaking face to face with a manager. This is really just pitiful.

 

[Hoosierdood]

IMO, this doesnt have as much to do with Facebook as it does with Parental Rights. Let's take facebook out of the picture for a minute. You as the parent have the right to raise your child. Period. If you choose to use corporal punishment, that is your choice. If you choose to homeschool, that is your choice. The list goes on.

Our left leaning society, however, disagrees with parental rights. They want to tell you how to discipline your child, what school they go to, what vaccines they take (calling rambone). They want to micromanage how you as a parent raise your child so that you raise a generation that will blindly follow the masses.

[/rant]

Some kids get facebook when they are 9. Some get cell phones when they are 5. Although I personally wouldnt do these things, it is up to the parent to take the responsibility to raise their child. The lady at the Y intentionally undermined your authority as a parent, and even made an effort to train your child to side step your authority. You need to talk to the management there.

Your child did what a kid will do. She stepped over the line. As a parent, you need to teach her that there are consequences to her actions (you have already deleted her account). It's a process of training, and she will continue to push the boundaries. You just need to continue to assert your responsibility as a parent and train her.

 

[Suprtek]

My kids are older now but the rule at my house when they were younger was no social networking of any kind. I installed software on their laptops that filtered their internet access regardless of where they were connected. That software also did things like prevent them from entering personal information on any web page and sent me email alerts according to the parameters I asked for. If something was blocked that they thought they should have access to, the software provided a link to send me an email alert so I could evaluate it and make a decision. It did many other things to that helped me do my job. I realize that they could easily have accessed the things I had blocked by using another computer. However I did my best to search for them on line from time to time and they knew they would be in big trouble if they got caught doing something that was against the rules. I even went so far as to monitor their email daily. I'm no computer genius but I'd say I'm above average. Luckily I was able to stay ahead of my kids in that area long enough for them to get older. Once kids get to a certain point in life, it of course becomes impossible to monitor everything. You can only hope that you taught them well enough to handle things on their own from then on.

As for the pushy YMCA lady, I probably would have told her off.

 

[Knife Lady]

Obviously the Y employee is in the wrong and should be properly dealt with through her manager or supervisor. Good luck. I say this simply due to my run ins with Y employees when I was a supervisor. I had to deal with the summer camps supervisors and let me tell you they would just out and out bald face lie. Yes this is what you deal with. Good luck but make sure you go directly to a manager even though the employee has already given her side first by now I'm sure.

 

[Darral27]

Another aspect of the story here is that I was CC'ing at the time. I believe for me that is a good thing because when I was younger I did have a bit of a temper. I very rarely get into a confrontation of any sort these days but the two times I have I have been carrying and it is my mind that if I react in a threatening or violent way I could lose my right to carry which is very important to me. CC'ing for me has really calmed me down and made me think twice before I react to somebody in a negative way.

 

[beararms1776]

Our left leaning society, however, disagrees with parental rights. They want to tell you how to discipline your child, what school they go to, what vaccines they take (calling rambone). They want to micromanage how you as a parent raise your child so that you raise a generation that will blindly follow the masses.

That sir, is very well said.