I was abducted by aliens and taken aboard a ship. It's unclear how long they had me on their ship, but it seemed like a lifetime.
After all the anal probing, they dropped me somewhere in the middle of a large wooded area.
While I was trying to find my way back to civilization, two large sasquatches kidnapped me and kept me blockaded in a cave. It's unclear how long I was held there, but after all the anal probing, they dumped me in a river.
After what seemed like hours of rapids and waterfalls, I ended up in a lake, where a large dinosaur looking, aquatic creature grabbed me and dove deep into the abyss. The thought of drowning never entered my mind because of all the anal probing. Once the creatures desires were fulfilled, it gently layed me on the shore, where I recognized where I was.
After walking all night, I finally made it back home, but it wasn't long, before I started hearing odd sounds and seeing mysterious figures that would attack me. I'll let you know when the anal probing stops.