How mad should I be?

[Vigilant]

Government (communist) indoctrinaters don't care what your opinion is, they will do as they see fit. If they won't follow your preferences for something like this it's easy to imagine that they won't for anything else. The preference slip is just pabulum to make the masses think they have a choice in their child's education and activities.

I'd be pissed, pissed enough to do what we do...home school. Flock government indoctrination centers.

Unfortunately, homeschooling isn’t always the answer. Have you seen some parents, some are alive only because breathing is an involuntary action.

 

[marvin02]

Wow...life can be so complicated...because we choose to make it that way.

Personally, I would just go into the school and have a conversation with the decision makers with no anger at all. I would figure out what happened and politely discuss how to keep it from happening again. Real people, talking to each other.

Lawyers...for this? Far be it from me to keep anyone from paying $300/hr to "deal" with this....but geez.

My experience with schools is that you are never talking to real people. There are too many layers of administration involved. Most of the time promises made at the school level can and are over ruled by lawyers, the school board, higher up admins.

I predict that if the OP follows up on this that the school will try to make him out as a bad parent who doesn't care about his daughter's health. A calm talk is fine, but consulting someone who actually knows the law involved before having that talk will make you better informed and better able to deal with the issues.

 

[HoughMade]

My experience with schools is that you are never talking to real people. There are too many layers of administration involved. Most of the time promises made at the school level can and are over ruled by lawyers, the school board, higher up admins.

I predict that if the OP follows up on this that the school will try to make him out as a bad parent who doesn't care about his daughter's health. A calm talk is fine, but consulting someone who actually knows the law involved before having that talk will make you better informed and better able to deal with the issues.

What's the endgame of going down the lawyer path?

...'cause it's not a viable lawsuit in this situation.

 

[eldirector]

Waiting to see if I get any other communication today, other than from the school secretary. My original email was to the secretary, principal, and teacher. I'll give them the day, as I know they are not at their desk until at least lunchtime.

This is a small, private school. Only one class for each grade. Not too many options. Kinda the reason we chose it. I have been rather disappointed, though. The little things add up, and then we got this. Sigh...

And don't worry. The whole reason my wife asked me to handle this, is to keep emotion in check. She has been both in tears and on a tear. Kinda hoping folks steer clear in the pick-up line this afternoon.

 

[marvin02]

What's the endgame of going down the lawyer path?

...'cause it's not a viable lawsuit in this situation.

Knowing what your rights are, under the law, and not assuming.

 

[MCgrease08]

I think you are right to be pissed. Granted, the damage this time is minor, but if they cant keep track of consent that is a HUGE issue. What if this were some type of vaccination or food event and your child had an allergy so you declined? And to tell your kid they are lying and to sit down and comply is beyond infuriating. How about you listen to the kid and verify with mom or dad? It shouldnt take more than 5 minutes to do that. Put her aside, make the call, and then put her back in line if she was wrong.

I agree, I'd be pissed too. Yet another reason why we homeschool.

And should the secretary lose her job? Maybe. You are sending out permission slips, so you have to assume SOMEBODY is going to say no. If you are asking permission, why wouldnt you keep track? If you arent keeping track, why even ask? What happens the next time when failure to keep track causes real physical harm? Do we wait for that actual harm to happen, or nip it in the bud before it becomes a real issue because we have a worker who cant do the job? I'm honestly on the fence about that.

This.

Crap like this needs to be called out on the small stuff now or it will only escalate. It doesn't take much imagination to predict it starts with a hearing test, but next they'll want your kid to talk to a 'mental health counselor' without parental permission.

Sit down little Susie or Johnny. Does your Dad keep guns in the house? That must make you scared, right? Does he keep them locked up? Does he ever get angry with you?

 

[Alpo]

Let's start here....

Have you previously had your child's hearing and vision tested?

As a little kid, I didn't know that my vision was any different than anyone else's. My grandmother was discerning enough to see that I might have had some issues after rubella. My parents were distracted by other things and hadn't noticed.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Reason #1 - I did not give permission. I don't need to supply a reason. They asked, I said "no". End of story.

As for some of the possible reasons: IMHO, health screening isn't under a school's (especially a private schools) purview. I am perfectly capable of managing my family's health. This type of screening had already been performed by our family doctor. I see no purpose to the school having this information. I have no idea who the 3rd party is, or how they manage patient data. I am risk-adverse when it comes to medical data.

And that is off the top of my head.

Let's start here....

Have you previously had your child's hearing and vision tested?

As a little kid, I didn't know that my vision was any different than anyone else's. My grandmother was discerning enough to see that I might have had some issues after rubella. My parents were distracted by other things and hadn't noticed.

Post #3...

 

[Ziggidy]

Don't be angry - it doesn't help and it causes bad decisions.

I would have lawyer draw up a letter for you to sign that asks for the following:

The destruction of all records pertaining to this test by anyone who holds them. Make sure that each party that has access to the information gives you their written guarantee of the destruction of these records.

That all future procedures of this type be OPT IN. In other words if the teacher/admin staff does not have written approval in their hand then the procedure DOES NOT happen. This will probably need school board action and should be reflected in the minutes of the meeting.

A written apology from the school system that clearly acknowledges that they were at fault.

An apology in person from the teacher that called your daughter a liar in front of the same people that heard her say it. If you no longer respect/trust the teacher ask that your daughter be moved to another class.

As I said have an attorney write up the letter. Do not have it on official letterhead from the attorney. If they know you have an attorney involved they will hide behind their own. But by consulting an attorney you will get a letter that covers your rights.

When you meet with anyone from the school be calm and the louder they get the quieter and calmer you should get. Don't give them any chance to portray you as out of control.

In the future make copies of all permission slips that the school sends home. Make sure your daughter has a copy with her so that there is no "confusion" about your wishes.

Edit - ask that they let you know specifically who will be examining your daughter when these procedures happen. I refused to let them do scoliosis screenings on my kids because the doc involved had tried to choke his receptionist because she threatened to tell his wife they were sleeping together. Not the kind of person I wanted having anything to do with my kids. They usually require that all volunteers at a school nowadays get a background check - did they do this for the people performing the screening?

Exactly as stated. I'd be very upset. The teacher should be reprimanded along with the secretary. A copy of the action taken should be noted and a copy if it sent to you. A letter of explanation and action taken placed in your child's records. HIPPA seemingly was violated. Documentation that the 3rd party has destroyed all records of the test AFTER they give you a copy of the test and who performed it. The school MUST remove the same from your child's record.

I would also demand that no other tests be performed without written AND verbal authorization from you.

This is a prime example how the liberals feel they know better than the parents. That teacher has embarrassed you daughter and actually showed disrespect for her and you. Not an example I'd want my child to be exposed to; undermining the demands of the parent by ignoring the desires of the parent and publicly ridiculing and embarrassing your child.

So many areas where the school failed. My fear would be backlash from the teacher, in ways that would be difficult to prove.

So wrong. You need to show some strength and firmness here. THEY need to know they cannot do something because they want to. Your daughter need to see her parent stand and fight for her rights.

 

[eldirector]

Let's start here....

Have you previously had your child's hearing and vision tested?

As a little kid, I didn't know that my vision was any different than anyone else's. My grandmother was discerning enough to see that I might have had some issues after rubella. My parents were distracted by other things and hadn't noticed.

Why START there? I fail to see why it is anyone's business, unless we are asking for accommodation.

I am starting with the permission request, denial, and all the mistakes that followed. The type of screening is irrelevant, IMHO.

 

[Hatin Since 87]

Let's start here....

Have you previously had your child's hearing and vision tested?

As a little kid, I didn't know that my vision was any different than anyone else's. My grandmother was discerning enough to see that I might have had some issues after rubella. My parents were distracted by other things and hadn't noticed.

Not sure why that would matter anyway? A parent declined permission. End of discussion. You big government types

 

[OurDee]

"I would go see the principal and find out this happened. As far as the teacher saying your child was "fibbing", I would become unglued. I would request that my child be transferred to a different teacher if possible. If not, I would demand that in the presence of my child, my wife, the principal and me that the teacher apologize for this outrage."

This apology may be way more important than anyone thinks. Telling me I was lieing and giving me a spanking in 2nd grade was the trigger that sent me off the deep end. When I was faced with the reality that I could be punished for others crimes that I didn't commit, there was no longer any deterrent......

 

[ATOMonkey]

I have seen this from the school's point of view. There are kids who have never seen the inside of a dr's office for any reason. They are rarely bathed, not dressed for the cold, their homework is never done etc. The schools feel that screenings like this will "help" these kids somehow. You can't fix stupid, so I don't see how sending a letter saying your kid is deaf is going to make a parent who doesn't give a ****, start to give a ****.

My wife at least buys tooth brushes, clothes, hair accessories, etc for these kids, and keeps them at school so she can take care of them when they show up a hot neglected mess.

 

[Vigilant]

I have seen this from the school's point of view. There are kids who have never seen the inside of a dr's office for any reason. They are rarely bathed, not dressed for the cold, their homework is never done etc. The schools feel that screenings like this will "help" these kids somehow. You can't fix stupid, so I don't see how sending a letter saying your kid is deaf is going to make a parent who doesn't give a ****, start to give a ****.

My wife at least buys tooth brushes, clothes, hair accessories, etc for these kids, and keeps them at school so she can take care of them when they show up a hot neglected mess.

You’re probably not seeing hat much in private schools?

 

[Clay Pigeon]

Waiting to see if I get any other communication today, other than from the school secretary. My original email was to the secretary, principal, and teacher. I'll give them the day, as I know they are not at their desk until at least lunchtime.

This is a small, private school. Only one class for each grade. Not too many options. Kinda the reason we chose it. I have been rather disappointed, though. The little things add up, and then we got this. Sigh...

And don't worry. The whole reason my wife asked me to handle this, is to keep emotion in check. She has been both in tears and on a tear. Kinda hoping folks steer clear in the pick-up line this afternoon.

Lots of members missed this fact....

 

[churchmouse]

With all the really great opinions/ways to fix this I am sorry. I would have been at the school post haste and up in somebody's Keister.
Just the calling the child a liar is enough to put someone's butt in the spotlight. I am the one who calls the medical shots on my child or ward. Not a teacher. Or a school admin. Period.

 

[Hoosierdood]

Personally, I don't see the big deal in allowing a hearing screening for my kids. But...

1. You declined the screening. You're the parent, and it's your right.
2. Your reasons are yours, and yours alone.
3. The school didn't have permission, or authority to perform such screening on a minor.
4. They violated protocol, as well as your written wishes by performing such screening.

I would be contacting whoever is in charge - the superintendant, principal, etc. Whoever is the highest in the school. I would sit down in their office with them, face to face, and explain how you are the parent and they are the school, and they do not have the right to perform such screenings without your permission. I would try to reach some sort of resolution which includes them admitting their fault, and making restitution. Restitution should include at least an apology and a policy/training to ensure that this doesn't happen again.

 

[bwframe]

Would instructing your child to request to go to the office, while her parents were being contacted, be a way to address this going forward?

 

[Alpo]

Not sure why that would matter anyway? A parent declined permission. End of discussion. You big government types

Carrying your hatred to its logical extreme, you wouldn't want your child questioned at all. No written exams. No oral quizzes.

In a perfect world with excellent parents and all children above average....like lake Wobegon....I presume they still administer hearing and vision tests. Garrison Keillor wears glasses.

Hearing and vision have a direct impact on a child's ability to learn. If you deny the school the ability to test for these things, I sure hope you are a perfect parent and have taken your child for testing with professionals that you approve of.

And yes, I read that the family doctor has already performed these tests in this specific instance. Great. I haven't seen a doctor with audiology equipment or phoropters, but I assume some might have access to them.

 

[Hatin Since 87]

Carrying your hatred to its logical extreme, you wouldn't want your child questioned at all. No written exams. No oral quizzes.

In a perfect world with excellent parents and all children above average....like lake Wobegon....I presume they still administer hearing and vision tests. Garrison Keillor wears glasses.

Hearing and vision have a direct impact on a child's ability to learn. If you deny the school the ability to test for these things, I sure hope you are a perfect parent and have taken your child for testing with professionals that you approve of.

What are you even on about? Exams and quizzes? What does that have to do with medical attention? He already did his dr has performed those tests, the school has no right overriding his wishes and doing them their self.