I just went from Hell to bad in about 5 hours

[KittySlayer]

Square Peg ~ Round Hole

It is unlikely you will get past the one (exclusive) visitor rule. Sounds like a Zero Tolerance policy that administrative people hide behind.

Try another Avenue for access. Someone needs to make the medical decisions for your mom, Health Care Power of Attorney. Mom can’t decide. Dad is cognitively incapable. The duty falls to you. In order to properly exercise your role in deciding what is best for your mom in accordance with her wishes you must be present from time to time to visually monitor her health, comfort, pain, quality of life, improvement/decline. As her advocate and POA you must have access.

Get names and titles of everyone you talk too. Make meeting notes. Express to them that under NO circumstances are they to obtain any authorizations or consents from your cognitively impaired father. Send a follow up letter to the appropriate person summarizing the conversation and probably unfortunate denial.

Do not harass the doctors, nurses, desk staff, and others responsible for her care. It is outside their control. Your issue is with some administrative dweeb hiding behind policy. Ask for a written copy of the policy. Research the Governors Executive Orders.

Best wishes, you have a long haul ahead.

 

[SheepDog4Life]

Sorry to hear this, Doug... sounds like the doc and the care she is getting are the silver lining.

KittySlayer's point about medical POA is good advice to have since your dad is no longer capable make those decisions for your mom.

You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[KokomoDave]

So sorry to hear of your plight.
Be strong in your faith and I will pray for your family.

 

[TexasRedneck]

Prayers from Texas, my friend. Both my parents are long gone - what I'd give to have them back for 30 minutes.

 

[T.Lex]

Praying for you and your family.

[And you don't need to quote this - I know you appreciate it.]

 

[HoosierNation33]

Stay strong brother.

 

[JettaKnight]

I understand about Parkview... those bureaucratic rules can be infuriating and demoralizing.


Let me know if I can offer anything more than my prayer for you and your family.

 

[Libertarian01]

Back to Hell again

So now it looks to be a terminal event.

My mother had hundreds of small strokes, too small to show up on CAT but MRI revealed them.

Doc's best guess is that she had a clot in her heart, and that it broke. When it did it scattered hundreds and hundreds of little pieces throughout the body, many of them landing in the brain and causing strokes.

I'm heading up there now with my father. We'll see, but the doctor is good and gives less than 1%. She is off the sedation and still not waking up. If not awake by tonight then it is just a matter of time.

Thanks in advance.

I am trying to focus on all the good memories. I'm failing, but I'm trying.

Sincerely,

Doug

 

[DoggyDaddy]

God bless Doug.

 

[Alamo]

Gah. I'm just catching up to this.

So sorry for you and your family. God bless you all.

 

[CZ evo3]

Your family are in my prayers

 

[patience0830]

So sorry to hear this, Doug. Will keep you in our prayers.

 

[yeti rider]

Very sorry to hear this Doug. Your family will be in our thoughts,

 

[Bennettjh]

So sorry, Doug. My heart goes out to you and your family.

 

[mom45]

I'm so sorry to see your sad update. Prayers for you and your family!

 

[actaeon277]

So sorry to hear.



And yes, these blanket "emergency orders" are crap. Sorry you got caught up in that.

 

[PGRChaplain]

Dog, I just saw this thread now. I'm Praying for you and all of the Family. May our Lord surround all of you with His Love and Comfort.

Chaplain Pat

 

[Libertarian01]

A big blanket thank you to everyone! I mean it.

My sister did get in. It hit her like hell that we were basically waiting on her to disconnect and say goodbye. The nurse was great at showing her the MRI scans and communicating the futility of keeping mother on the machines.

I feel so bad for her. We were basically waiting for her just to pull everything. It must be a helluva pressure.

Finally, around 11:00PM she was ready and I got the nurse. Everything was disconnected by 11:30PM.

My mother is very strong. She was still going strong without the machine. My sister has been up since 4:30AM and was exhausted. We decided to leave at 12:30AM. The nurses for my mother have my phone number and will call with any change during the night.

I didn't want to leave but my sister was beat. The lack of sleep, the emotional drain, I get it.

I look to being there tomorrow morning as soon as I am able. We will also have to deal with the funeral people. My mother didn't want a funeral and wanted to be cremated. This is ripping my dad up horribly. I cannot express how this news devastates him, and with his memory loss every time he hears it he is hurt all over again. He takes it better from my sister so that is good.

In a big way I think my mother was truly blessed. She lived a long life, had a happy marriage, a loving family, and didn't suffer a condition that dragged out end of life for weeks or monthes. I've seen people... It's not good.

Right now is a big unknown on how to do things with my father being all alone.

Thanks again for everyone's kind words and thoughts.

I realized tonight that we never realize how important our last conversation was with someone - until we realize it was the last conversation.

Regards,

Doug

 

[Nazgul]

Stay strong brother.

Don

 

[El Conquistador]

Very sorry to hear this.