If you don't make waves....

[Andre46996]

Smile and always remember....

God Loves You!!!!

Everyone else thinks your an A-hole!

 

[sparky241]

No matter where you go, there you are.

ive never had a clue as to what that means

 

[Andre46996]

Second place is the nice way of saying...

Your the 1st Loser!!

 

[BloodEclipse]

I've never done the dishes, and i've never been shot!

You are pushing your luck. You are young, you'll fall in with the program soon enough.

 

[BloodEclipse]

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

 

[zenbruno]

you"ll drown.

Alternatively:

If you wish to drown, do not torture yourself with shallow water.

 

[BloodEclipse]

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

 

[Tryin']

When life gives you lemons, constrict the bore of your potato launcher.


Failure is not an option: it is expected.

 

[Andre46996]

Here I sit, I'm at a loss
Trying to poop out taco sauce
Very soon I'll drop a load
I only hope I don't explode
I cry, I moan, I scream, I growl
A big turd plops, the smell so foul

An eruption of brown juice exits the butt
A period of farting ensues, more crap, more gas
A fireworks display of fecal delight
A mix of tan, brown, and specks of white
The grotesque sensation, the aroma so nasty
The putrid trepidation, the sight so ghastly

The look and the smell is all just too much
I vomit on my lap as more excrement leaves my butt
Like a thousand rotting corpses, the stench is terrible
The feeling of scumminess so unbearable

Lord save me from this wretched chamber of ****!
Thy ass has been split, the pain it must quit.
The vomit, it stains thy clothes
The stink, it tortures thy nose

In utter despair I cried out in fright
Then up from above descended a being from the light
His arms opened up as he smiled through the white vapor
He said, "Take this rag, you'll need it, there's no toilet paper!"

 

[Andre46996]

Please do not throw cigarettes in the urinal... "... Because it makes them difficult to light..."

Why are you looking up here?...the joke is in your hand.

More then three (3) shakes and you're playing with it.

 

[Muddy_Ford]

Please do not throw cigarettes in the urinal... "... Because it makes them difficult to light..."

Why are you looking up here?...the joke is in your hand.

More then three (3) shakes and you're playing with it.

Don't forget............. Don't eat the mints.


Also, When in doubt.....Empty the Mag!!

 

[hornadylnl]

Never fart while climbing down a ladder.