Incident at the homestead

[musclecarr]

Call police and tell your story, and mention this "For the record, If he ever comes back, I want him arrested for criminal trespass". A police officer then HAS to tell him to stay away or he'll be arrested for criminal trespass.

 

[zebov]

After reading through this whole (hilarious) thread I really hope you two come out to be good friends. That would be the best, "So, how do you two know each other?" story in history.

 

[IndyBeerman]

Good bump, because I had forgotten about the part I quoted below.


Is he off of his home-probation now?

Should have updated this 2 and a half weeks ago, my bad. Things been going on with my shoulder surgery, but because of the shoulder surgery is the reason of the update now.

He's mowing my yard for me since I can't operate my ZTR till mid May at the earliest. So that works out for me, and he's thinking of dumping his traditional yard tractor for one because he thinks it's funner to operate than bouncing for 2 hours.

We are now on speaking terms instead of a who can have the superior grunt and scowl, that in itself is the best of it because I think I would have never spoken to him again.

Everything's good to go right now!

 

[Skroggster]

I vote the later of the two choices, but that is me. Eye for an Eye. But I prefer to take both eyes.

 

[BtownBlaster]

Glad everything is working out alright. As stupid as his behavior was, it's good to see neighbors working out differences without getting the government, ie police, involved. I would like to think that that is the American way. It's a shame that our modern society makes it difficult to let things work out in a civil way, and who knows? This guy could turn out to be a friend, and it certainly sounds as if your wife made a new friend in the neighborhood. Full of win, I'd say.

 

[mainjet]

The guy was an idiot. I personally would not have done any of what he did in the first place to get this all started. Having said that, if by some loss of reality I actually did this, there is no chance my wife would be able to get me to do the things this guy is doing.

I have gone back and apologized to people that I have screamed at once I calmed down. But I am not mowing their yard, raking it sending them to dinner and taking them to lunch.

When he had his pants down where you actually able to see if he had his balls with him or do you think they were still in his wifes purse?

 

[IndyBeerman]

When he had his pants down where you actually able to see if he had his balls with him or do you think they were still in his wifes purse?

I think they played turtle and hid from fear.

 

[mainjet]

I think they played turtle and hid from fear.

I guess they would. If a guy with a shotgun caught me with my pants down taking a crap in his yard my balls would tuck up real quick.

I mean this dude has a screw loose. What makes him think that you are going to see that particular pile and know it is human and that it came from him? Unless he was going to leave you some ballistics info which would aid in you tracing the rifling back to him.

 

[ljadayton]

I think they played turtle and hid from fear.

This is one of THE most AWESOME threads yet......and ^^^^^ awesome quote, lol...but glad everything's working out....wonder what he's having to do at home on top of what he has to do for IndyBeerman?

 

[irishfan]

I love this story but to be honest....I would have called the police while he waited. A nice trip to jail with crap filled pants and a nice fine would be good justification. Also, you always have the manure and other things as fall back plans if needed. GREAT STORY

 

[scottka]

I can't say how glad I am that this got bumped. I somehow missed it, but WOW what a story!! Glad everything worked out. Sounds like your other neighbor that called you with the heads up did a good job lookin out for ya too.

 

[tnek]

Sorry but I would be calling the poooolice right now.

I dont deal well with body fluids.

Yup.

 

[j706]

Some members might know I'm experiencing a shoulder problem and have been put on light duty for the last 7 weeks.

In this last seven weeks I'm coming home at about the 4:30 to 4:45pm time frame, way earlier that my normal get home time when healthy. During these seven weeks I've noticed that one of the people who live someplace in my quaint subdivision has taken to walking his dog and let my front yard become his pooches drop off spot.

Now just to let people know the average lot size is from 3/4 to 1.5 acres, so there is really no reason that you need to stroll the dog and let them crap in someone elses yard, unless you're like this sorry idiot that doesn't want it in his yard and doesn't plan on cleaning it up out of others yard.

I take offense to this, I get tired in the summer time of running the mower through the front yard only to run over some pooch's possibly fecal infected crap and taking the chance of getting my dog's sick when I put the mower up.

So I pull around the corner this evening to have before my eyes, his dog dropping a dog log right on my drive way. I stop in the road and get out and calmly and politely inform him to not use my yard as a waste disposal station and to clean it up.

Guy gets really confrontational and tells me that he'll clean it up when h3ll freeze;s over and starts to walk away. I tell him in a sarcastic tone to not let me find out where he lives or I'll make sure he gets a ton on manure in his driveway for my trouble. I pull in the garage, go out clean it up, end of story right?


Nope.


8:50 I get a phone call from my neighbor telling me that someone is kneeling down beside the blind spot on the west side of my house.
I grab the mossy 500 since my aim would not be to great with my weak hand and walk out from the back around to the side.

As I'm approaching about 8 foot from the edge I see this guys dog sitting there looking me in the face with that "It's not me look" and all of a sudden I hear this guy on his cell phone saying "Ya honey, I'm crapping on the side of his house right now, teach him to chew me out"

I rack the slide and walk around and you should have seen the look on this guys face, cause I had just made him a little more. Made him pull his pants up without wiping made him give me his drivers license and I told him he get in in the mail with a certified letter explaining what my plans are for his actions and to never ever come on my property again because I got eyes everywhere.

So, do I just mail it back to him with what will happen if I catch him trespassing on my property or should I really follow through with a ton of cow manure.

Right now I'm leaning towards just mailing it back with stay off my property verbiage, but the wife is in the living room still laughing at my manure idea.

What should I do?

Call your PD and make a report. Also tell them you want the person and his family trespassed from your property. If they show up again have them charged.

 

[moozak]

Call your PD and make a report. Also tell them you want the person and his family trespassed from your property. If they show up again have them charged.

i agree! you might also want to speak to an attorney about the matter!

 

[41mag]

It's amazing that he would try to make amends ,mostly it would either be all out war or never speak to you again .It's always best if you can work things out and be civil as i have seen feuds go on for decades and it ain't pretty.

 

[buffalo-springfield40]

now that i've stop laughing...let me give ya my spin on this...being neighbors you'll be running into Mr.Sh*thead on a regular basis ,, although the drivers license in his own crap is brilliant ...like 41mag put it..those Hatfield and Mcoys are still at it!..i would call leo and explain to them what happen...when they stop laughing....have a officer take his license back to him...i'm sure he will not even walk past your house anymore,,,good luck...

 

[chef larry]

Not the same, but close to this story, went out with the first wife and another couple to dinner and on the way home, he needed to take a dump, pulled over in someones front yard in the country and did his thing and left. Next morning he could't find his wallet and had to go back for the wallet and explain how it happened. Still laugh to myself when I go by that house and the second wife will say isn't that the house where Mike (she knows him)went?

 

[Blue Tile Spook]

IBM, is there any update to this story?

It's been seven months or so and I wondered if this guy was still working for you by plowing snow out of your driveway.

 

[grizman]

Wow, never saw this thread till now. I would have called the police and he would have been in the process of returning his fecal matter to its original container when the police arrived! I would have also pushed for trespass,vandalism and indecent exposure and what ever charges would apply.

 

[dholmtime]

I vote FedEx the poo...but thats just my