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Be sure to read this post! Beware of scammers. https://www.indianagunowners.com/threads/classifieds-new-online-payment-guidelines-rules-paypal-venmo-zelle-etc.511734/
INGO: Joke of the day page
- Thread starter FordMan08
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- ban mbills!
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Yup. And a cow whose left legs are longer than it's right legs would be.... Lean beef.
- Jan 12, 2012
- 27,286
- 113
How old is your daughter? I am 42 years old and that was going around when I was in 7th grade!
- Jan 12, 2012
- 27,286
- 113
Yes, and, once again from those magical days of 7th grade...what do you call a cow who had an abortion? Decaffeinated.
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times"
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times"
^^^^^^ Same as post 1289
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies, “Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call."
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies, “Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call."
Did you hear about the girl who broke up with her boyfriend because she was tire of getting stuck for the drinks? 
Did I mention she was dating a vampire?
Did you hear about the girl who broke up with her boyfriend because she was tired of getting stuck with the bill?
Did I mention she was dating a duck,.........who was a vampire?
Did I mention she was dating a vampire?
Did you hear about the girl who broke up with her boyfriend because she was tired of getting stuck with the bill?
Did I mention she was dating a duck,.........who was a vampire?
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East
Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance.
Latin American countries are sending clothing.
New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.
Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.
President Trump, not to be outdone, is sending back two million replacement Muslims
Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance.
Latin American countries are sending clothing.
New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.
Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.
President Trump, not to be outdone, is sending back two million replacement Muslims
cherokeewoody
Plinker
A husband and wife shopping at the local walmart.
Husband grabs a couple packs of cigarettes.
Wife "Put those back, we're on a budget. Here you go" and hands him a bag of tobacco and some rolling papers. " You'll just have to learn to roll your own!"
Husband grabs her box of tampons and throws it on the shelf and picks up a bag of cotton and some string, says " You'll just have to learn to roll your own as well!"
Husband grabs a couple packs of cigarettes.
Wife "Put those back, we're on a budget. Here you go" and hands him a bag of tobacco and some rolling papers. " You'll just have to learn to roll your own!"
Husband grabs her box of tampons and throws it on the shelf and picks up a bag of cotton and some string, says " You'll just have to learn to roll your own as well!"
- Jan 12, 2012
- 27,286
- 113
There was a sheriff in a small town who was also the only veterinarian within many miles. One night, the phone rings. The sheriff's wife answers and the caller declares, "I need to talk to your husband!"
"Do you need his services as sheriff or veterinarian?"
"Both! We can't get the dog to open his mouth, and there is a burglar in it!"
"Do you need his services as sheriff or veterinarian?"
"Both! We can't get the dog to open his mouth, and there is a burglar in it!"
