Lies my parents told me

[jason765]

As children, our parents lied to us, and as parents, we lie to our children. And in the holiday spirit, I want to know what lies your parents told you, Ill go first, (me)"Mom, was I an accident?" (mom) "no.... you were a surprise!"

 

[lrahm]

You will go blind if....never mind, I'll go sit in the corner.

 

[geronimojoe85]

Pizza is not a funnel.

The cobbler burger is stupid, and so is the bacon double cobbler burger.

The pope doesn't have any super powers.

That's just a few I can think of.

 

[Rookie]

I love you.

 

[OneBadV8]

I love you.

 

[rich8483]

What did i do wrong?

oh, you know what you did?

no seriously, what the **** did i do wrong?

 

[indiucky]

JFK was a good President and The Ramones are not REAL rock and roll.

 

[schafe]

It wasn't really a lie, per se, but my parents told my older brother while he was in the hospital that...."If you don't lie still, they'll have to restrain you."
Mike was incredibly quiet for the duration. I found out later that there was a crucifix in the room, and he thought that the hospital did it that way!!

 

[iChokePeople]

That man in the van by the playground has the BEST candy.

 

[halfmileharry]

Daddy always threatened to "knock me into next week"
Heck he never got past wednesday.

 

[sepe]

That man in the van by the playground has the BEST candy.

Oh but he did. Also, if you helped him look for his puppy that got lost in the woods, you'd get ice cream. The rest of those afternoons, I promised to never talk about.

I think the biggest lie was "the future for your generation will be so much better than ours, politically and economically".

 

[CindyE]

As children, our parents lied to us, and as parents, we lie to our children. And in the holiday spirit, I want to know what lies your parents told you, Ill go first, (me)"Mom, was I an accident?" (mom) "no.... you were a surprise!"

Hey- I told my daughter that one, but it really is true. Surprisingly, she turned out really well.

 

[CindyE]

My mom used to threaten to send me to the state hospital (mental institution) nearby.

 

[UncleMike]

I told my kids that when I was little we didn't have much money so one Christmas Eve my dad went outside, shook a set of sleigh bells, fired a shotgun in the air, then came back inside and announced;
"Got the bastard"

I don't think they believed me.

 

[LockStocksAndBarrel]

You'll shoot your eye out!

 

[iChokePeople]

You'll shoot your eye out!

Is that some kind of sick joke? Do I look amused?

 

[fire259]

My Stepdad would always threaten to send me to Military School. Right up until I thought it sounded like a great idea and i actually wanted to go. Then the beatings commenced.

 

[LockStocksAndBarrel]

Is that some kind of sick joke? Do I look amused?

No joke.

I can't tell if you're amused. Your right eye looks serious but the left...I don't know. It could be smiling, couldn't it?

 

[bobzilla]

"You're a handsome boy". Lies..... all lies.

 

[G_Stines]

I never really got told lies, but I did get a lot of "I will tell you when you are older." When I was around 8 or 9, I started keeping a notebook, including the topic and I would always ask "how much older?" and record that in the notebook as well. Some of them, I have figured out on my own, others would get asked on the birthday. The first one was on my 13th birthday, and I will never forget their faces as I pulled out the notebook and started with "When I was 9, you said (insert), well, I am older, so what did you mean?"

And so it became a yearly tradition almost, right up until my 21st birthday, when I asked for the reason and details of their divorce.

Now I am 22 and everything is crossed off the list. I still have the notebook though.... Just in case.