Loaning money to friends

[Cameramonkey]

Or all of it. She might be THE problem.

I can believe it. about 20 years ago An old friend's (ex) wife maxed out both his credit cards, crashed both his cars, and then left him because he was broke and had no transportation.

CSB: after all that and moving back up here to be with her new BF, she called me out of the blue one day. She wanted to go out on a date. I wanted nothing to do with her but I saw an opportunity. Especially after I learned she was now stepping out on her new BF while they were still together. (she was trying to find somewhere to land before leaving) I agreed and she arranged for a friend to drop her off on the west side not far from her apt where I picked her up as her friend dropped her off on the way to work. I then took her 15 minutes away to the north side near my apartment to a restaurant I knew had no visibility to the outside. After we ordered drinks, I excused myself to go to the restroom. I explained to the hostess what was going on (buddy's ex wife trying to cheat on her new man) and handed her a scathing letter to give to the little hussy and a $20 bill to pay for her tip and the two pops. I left knowing she would have to call her BF and explain how she got halfway across town because I was supposed to drop her off at home afterward because her friend couldn't come get her. And she never called me again.

I considered making out with her in the car on the way so I could give her a hickey or two so she could have fun explaining to him, but ick. Just ick. I couldnt bring myself to do THAT. She was (is?) nasty.

/hijack

 

[Vigilant]

My, I came back to this thread because I though the title said loaning mommy to friends? Wanted to know how she looked.

 

[Route 45]

My, I came back to this thread because I though the title said loaning mommy to friends? Wanted to know how she looked.

I'd read the heck out of that thread.

 

[apache67]

My 2 cents. It's been said before, but being bitten myself, I won't loan money to anyone anymore. I've lost several friends over it.

 

[churchmouse]

Money, work, parts you name it. We have put it out there. Most have come to terms with what ever deals we struck. A few have not.
Friendship is a most valuable part of this life. We always try to honor it. But sad as it is some just do not understand.

Siblings and children of friends have been the worst. We have a situation that will cause me to loose a long time friend if I pursue it as promised recently. I am not anxious to see how this will play out. People seem to have no problem deceiving for their personal gain. As the OP stated, I can eat the expense/time/effort if need be. Do not lie to me. Do not take me for a fool. I am not. That is what hurts the heart. That can not be pushed aside.

 

[Usmccookie]

Just don't.

Even if it's a good friend. Even if you trust them more than anyone.

Some lessons are learned the hard way.


Seriously, if a friend asks to borrow money, just tell them that you value your friendship too much to risk it over a loan.

I gave never given a loan, but I have gifted friends money. It has always been returned when they were done using it. The difference for me is helping a dear friend, without intent on collecting the debt. Friends hold no debts, only acquaintances do. It would be no different than picking a buddy up from the airport or drinking his beer.

 

[tv1217]

I can believe it. about 20 years ago An old friend's (ex) wife maxed out both his credit cards, crashed both his cars, and then left him because he was broke and had no transportation.

CSB: after all that and moving back up here to be with her new BF, she called me out of the blue one day. She wanted to go out on a date. I wanted nothing to do with her but I saw an opportunity. Especially after I learned she was now stepping out on her new BF while they were still together. (she was trying to find somewhere to land before leaving) I agreed and she arranged for a friend to drop her off on the west side not far from her apt where I picked her up as her friend dropped her off on the way to work. I then took her 15 minutes away to the north side near my apartment to a restaurant I knew had no visibility to the outside. After we ordered drinks, I excused myself to go to the restroom. I explained to the hostess what was going on (buddy's ex wife trying to cheat on her new man) and handed her a scathing letter to give to the little hussy and a $20 bill to pay for her tip and the two pops. I left knowing she would have to call her BF and explain how she got halfway across town because I was supposed to drop her off at home afterward because her friend couldn't come get her. And she never called me again.

I considered making out with her in the car on the way so I could give her a hickey or two so she could have fun explaining to him, but ick. Just ick. I couldnt bring myself to do THAT. She was (is?) nasty.

/hijack

Is your name Randy, by chance?

Follow up questions, how do you feel about Slim Jims, fringey outfits, and stealing the Kool Aid man's catchphrase. All totally unrelated questions. Totally.

 

[gregkl]

I gave never given a loan, but I have gifted friends money. It has always been returned when they were done using it. The difference for me is helping a dear friend, without intent on collecting the debt. Friends hold no debts, only acquaintances do. It would be no different than picking a buddy up from the airport or drinking his beer.

This is the right attitude as far as I'm concerned. A good way to live.

Even the Bible says to "owe no man no debt, other than to love them."

 

[KittySlayer]

Ive never seen a 401k that couldn’t be borrowed against for imminent eviction from housing. All the ones I’ve had, that exact reason was one of the ok reasons to pull money early?

Exactly, if ones plan did tell you you cant borrow against if for any reason and one is going to lose his home.

Cash the 401K in....


And again....Someone who handles money so poorly, certainly doesn't have any supplemental pension....

Some employers are very paternalistic and view the money put into your retirement plan as being for retirement, not for your poor money management. If you can't manage money now you will have nothing to live on when you retire.

Not every 401(k) plan allows loans.

Not every 401(k) plan allows hardship withdrawals.

If you are too young you can't always just cash in your 401(k) account.

 

[KittySlayer]

If a rental, the timeline is a quicker, but it's still at least a few months.

Learned a potential new trick to quickly evict tenants. Turn off the utilities then the Board of Health will kick them out quickly as the residence is unsafe for habitation. After the low lifes have left simply turn on the utilities and rent to someone more reputable. Faster and cheaper than going to court.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Doing family and friends favors rarely are appreciated or repaid. I knew better. I should have stuck to my guns (so to speak). I should have insisted he buy me out. But I decided to not press the issue because it involved my brother, his daughter, and her husband. Long story short: It probably cost me $5000 and my brother $15,000 in lost value in a little piece of property our mom left to us.

 

[Clay Pigeon]

Some employers are very paternalistic and view the money put into your retirement plan as being for retirement, not for your poor money management. If you can't manage money now you will have nothing to live on when you retire.

Not every 401(k) plan allows loans.

Not every 401(k) plan allows hardship withdrawals.

If you are too young you can't always just cash in your 401(k) account.

As an employee and an employer... Never ever ever have I seen a plan that the employee cant withdraw his OWN money...

 

[KittySlayer]

As an employee and an employer... Never ever ever have I seen a plan that the employee cant withdraw his OWN money...

Your OWN money is fully vested but not necessarily accessible like a regular bank savings account.

 

[HoughMade]

Barring recent emergencies, anyone who has been steadily working for a few years should be able to come up with $3,000 at a moment's notice...but being on the edge of being evicted does not speak to responsible behavior.

 

[churchmouse]

As an employee and an employer... Never ever ever have I seen a plan that the employee cant withdraw his OWN money...

Thats my understanding. "AND" this would be discussed on the initial phone call.

 

[HoughMade]

Thats my understanding. "AND" this would be discussed on the initial phone call.

At my former workplace, one of my partners was the guy who decided whether to allow withdrawals or not. He had the authority to refuse, but I don't think he ever did.

 

[OurDee]

I learned years ago after losing less than $300 on a sad luck story. If a buddy asks for $20, I give it to them. I forget it and am surprised when they give it back. I had one guy that I didn't think I'd see the $20 from ever again. He lived $20 short. I gave him $20. He showed up with it the next week. For about 3 years, every one or two months he would ask me for $20. What ever day he said he would pay me, he would pay me. Sad thing was I was one of very few friends he had. I kept his $20 in a side pocket in my billfold. Always a gift here.

 

[churchmouse]

I learned years ago after losing less than $300 on a sad luck story. If a buddy asks for $20, I give it to them. I forget it and am surprised when they give it back. I had one guy that I didn't think I'd see the $20 from ever again. He lived $20 short. I gave him $20. He showed up with it the next week. For about 3 years, every one or two months he would ask me for $20. What ever day he said he would pay me, he would pay me. Sad thing was I was one of very few friends he had. I kept his $20 in a side pocket in my billfold. Always a gift here.

 

[MCgrease08]

Barring recent emergencies, anyone who has been steadily working for a few years should be able to come up with $3,000 at a moment's notice...but being on the edge of being evicted does not speak to responsible behavior.

Sadly a majority of people would be unable to do so. Most people are woefully unprepared to deal with an emergency.

6 out of 10 can't come up with $1,000.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cn...ve-the-savings-to-cover-a-1000-emergency.html

4 in 10 can't come up with just $400.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/why-4-in-10-adults-cant-cover-a-400-emergency-expense-2018-05-22

 

[HoughMade]

Sadly a majority of people would be unable to do so. Most people are woefully unprepared to deal with an emergency.

6 out of 10 can't come up with $1,000.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cn...ve-the-savings-to-cover-a-1000-emergency.html

4 in 10 can't come up with just $400.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/why-4-in-10-adults-cant-cover-a-400-emergency-expense-2018-05-22

I know...

...and most of them have newer iphones, a bigger TV and a newer car than I do...which is fine with me.

Well, my oldest son has all of those things too...but having been in the full-time workforce for about 10 months, already has a healthy emergency fund.

More people should listen to Dave Ramsey. I don't do everything he says (I use credit cards, but never pay interest), but he's got some good principles.