Loaning money to friends

[churchmouse]

I know...

...and most of them have newer iphones, a bigger TV and a newer car than I do...which is fine with me.

Well, my oldest son has all of those things too...but having been in the full-time workforce for about 10 months, already has a healthy emergency fund.

And that is pretty much on point.

The "Oh woe is me I am so broke" crowd. Latest TV/game console/I-phone etc.

 

[Vigilant]

And that is pretty much on point.

The "Oh woe is me I am so broke" crowd. Latest 1911, AR, AK, CZ etc.

FTFY

 

[churchmouse]

FTFY

 

[DoggyDaddy]

And that is pretty much on point.

The "Oh woe is me I am so broke" crowd. Latest TV/game console/I-phone etc.

FTFY

Originally Posted by churchmouse
And that is pretty much on point.

The "Oh woe is me I am so broke" crowd. Latest 1911, AR, AK, CZ etc.

 

[WebSnyper]

Some employers are very paternalistic and view the money put into your retirement plan as being for retirement, not for your poor money management. If you can't manage money now you will have nothing to live on when you retire.

Not every 401(k) plan allows loans.

Not every 401(k) plan allows hardship withdrawals.

If you are too young you can't always just cash in your 401(k) account.

It's still your money. You will take a tax hit and penalty, if you are not 59 1/2, but I have never seen a 401k you could not get your money (tax hit and penalty applied) out of.

Most offer loans, etc, but maybe not all, but if one is willing to accept the tax hit and penalty, the money should be accessible for hardship withdrawal...

https://www.irs.gov/retirement-plan...-plan-participants-general-distribution-rules

 

[OakRiver]

$3000

I'm sorry, that sucks that you had to find out just how much your friend valued your relationship.

 

[bwframe]

I'm betting the friend was not out to screw his buddy. Sometimes stuff happens beyond one's control.

 

[OurDee]

People that listen to Dave Ramsey and participate don't have any trouble when they need to raise that $1,000.

 

[MCgrease08]

People that listen to Dave Ramsey and participate don't have any trouble when they need to raise that $1,000.

 

[HoughMade]

People that listen to Dave Ramsey and participate don't have any trouble when they need to raise that $1,000.

Baby Step 1

 

[Trigger Time]

I know...

...and most of them have newer iphones, a bigger TV and a newer car than I do...which is fine with me.

Well, my oldest son has all of those things too...but having been in the full-time workforce for about 10 months, already has a healthy emergency fund.

More people should listen to Dave Ramsey. I don't do everything he says (I use credit cards, but never pay interest), but he's got some good principles.

BINGO.
This hits in squarely on the head
Usually being broke is a side effect of constant poor decisions. And they always have an excuse or self justification for every single damn one.
Just like people who are always in trouble with the law always have an excuse and its always someone elses fault

Im not picking on poor people. Reckless spending is the issue.
If i spend what I have budgeted for something, then I'm broke. I don't dip into other funds to pay for toys. That's reckless.

No way I'm loaning money to a trainwreck waiting to happen. All you're doing is adding grease to the wheels.

Someone I can trust, ok. We will see. If someone is going to betray you over a couple grand I'd rather find out that way that they weren't a true friend than it to be down the road in a life or death circumstance.
Money is money. They always print more. You can always get more.
TRUE friends are priceless
If a TRUE friend needs my help, then ill do anything I can in order to help my friend. Buying a new TV is not something im loaning them money for though

 

[UltraRick]

 

[churchmouse]

BINGO.
This hits in squarely on the head
Usually being broke is a side effect of constant poor decisions. And they always have an excuse or self justification for every single damn one.
Just like people who are always in trouble with the law always have an excuse and its always someone elses fault

Im not picking on poor people. Reckless spending is the issue.
If i spend what I have budgeted for something, then I'm broke. I don't dip into other funds to pay for toys. That's reckless.

No way I'm loaning money to a trainwreck waiting to happen. All you're doing is adding grease to the wheels.

Someone I can trust, ok. We will see. If someone is going to betray you over a couple grand I'd rather find out that way that they weren't a true friend than it to be down the road in a life or death circumstance.
Money is money. They always print more. You can always get more.
TRUE friends are priceless
If a TRUE friend needs my help, then ill do anything I can in order to help my friend. Buying a new TV is not something im loaning them money for though

Just before Christmas the son of a good friend needed our help. The heat pump in the house was failing. I had looked at it just a week before and said it was pretty much done for.
It died quickly. They went on emergency heat but it too was old and near done for. So my friend calls me and asked me to help them out.

My friend fronted most of the money for the equipment and we (SIL and I) installed it the weekend before Christmas putting off family time but they had kids so we answered the call. I paid my SIL as he works for me doing this and it was not his friend after all. So the deal we struck was the son makes me monthly payments towards our labor. $250 a month until the balance was paid 1st payment due 1/1/20. No payment/call/text/e-mail.....NADA

I called his dad after a week and asked what was up. Said he would get back with me. Time passes. I finally called and left a voice mail. Time passes. This thread comes up and I am again wondering about this so I stopped over at the sons house this evening. There is a new vehicle in the drive way. No one is answering the door but they are home.
OK. I stop at dads house. Seems the son just up and bought a new ride. Seriously. His old one was paid for and ran fine. In my mind if you have credit for a vehicle then get to the bank and pay me off. Asked Dad why he was avoiding me and his answer was embarrassment. **** that. Man up. Now I am really hot. And they both know it. this will not end well.

Kindness is all too often mistaken for weakness.

 

[HoughMade]

If I think a need is real, I am willing to be taken advantage of...once, at least.

That's a really nice thing you did. You should take satisfaction in the fact that you are a decent person and try not to let the selfishness of others steal that satisfaction.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Just before Christmas the son of a good friend needed our help. The heat pump in the house was failing. I had looked at it just a week before and said it was pretty much done for.
It died quickly. They went on emergency heat but it too was old and near done for. So my friend calls me and asked me to help them out.

My friend fronted most of the money for the equipment and we (SIL and I) installed it the weekend before Christmas putting off family time but they had kids so we answered the call. I paid my SIL as he works for me doing this and it was not his friend after all. So the deal we struck was the son makes me monthly payments towards our labor. $250 a month until the balance was paid 1st payment due 1/1/20. No payment/call/text/e-mail.....NADA

I called his dad after a week and asked what was up. Said he would get back with me. Time passes. I finally called and left a voice mail. Time passes. This thread comes up and I am again wondering about this so I stopped over at the sons house this evening. There is a new vehicle in the drive way. No one is answering the door but they are home.
OK. I stop at dads house. Seems the son just up and bought a new ride. Seriously. His old one was paid for and ran fine. In my mind if you have credit for a vehicle then get to the bank and pay me off. Asked Dad why he was avoiding me and his answer was embarrassment. **** that. Man up. Now I am really hot. And they both know it. this will not end well.

Kindness is all too often mistaken for weakness.

Don't blame you for being pissed CM. Owing someone money that did you a favor, then screwing them over and buying a new ride? Not cool. Not cool at all.

 

[Hoosierdood]

Kindness is all too often mistaken for weakness.

^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^^^


I am a very generous and will go out of my way to help someone out. But do not mistake my kindness for weakness. I assure you it is not.

 

[Wolfhound]

I have had many of the same experiences others have mentioned. I hate to say it but family has been worse than friends when it comes to loans. It reminds me of two sayings. "If you never want to see someone again loan them some money" and "If you want someone to hate you, do too much for them".

 

[chocktaw2]

Just don't.

Even if it's a good friend. Even if you trust them more than anyone.

Some lessons are learned the hard way.


Seriously, if a friend asks to borrow money, just tell them that you value your friendship too much to risk it over a loan.

Its really a nice way to way to say, you didn't understand the last conversion we had. Another f...king loan?

 

[churchmouse]

Don't blame you for being pissed CM. Owing someone money that did you a favor, then screwing them over and buying a new ride? Not cool. Not cool at all.

As I ponder this I am more upset with my friend that lacked the balls to let me know.
Yes I am out some money on the equipment and paying my SIL for his time and help. Some Misc parts pieces and materials.
But we have Pro-Bono on a few in the last few years. Older fixed income people we know. Some I grew up with their kids. When they really needed the help the kids were nowhere to be found. SIL and I would rebuild an old furnace we pulled out on another job. Do the same on an A/C unit. Take a Saturday and cobble together a system for someone in need.
We have more than a couple of these around the area. In that I can eat my time but a mans handshake used to stand for something. Mine still does.

I understand the OP's dilemma here. And did not mean to jack the thread.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

I don't think you jacked the thread CM. Same subject, different circumstances, same result.