It varies of course, but most of the non-leo or .mil guys in my classes have not been fully kitted out.
The last class I attended with a carbine. Not a whole lot of "kit" going on. Should I not wear the 5.11 pants because they are more comfortable than my jeans?
Glad to hear there are courses out there that seem to focus on the skill over the tool.
I didn't say there is anything wrong with any one particular piece of gear or another. My point was that what you normally have is what you will most likely have. Train to that. If what you normally have doesn't meet your reasonable expectation of what you might encounter, change what you normally have, then train to that. If you have a red dot and light on your primary HDG, train with it. If you don't wear throat mikes and helmets around don't train with them.
These ideas are neither new nor originally mine but they are sound. History has shown us too many dead cops with pockets full of brass (revolver days!) or empty magazines (or not letting go of a clipboard during a gun grab). In encounters they acted as they trained but unfortunately they had trained differently then they wanted to act.