Am I in danger?

[jamil]

Perhaps some of this is just young age and naivete plus that sense of immortality that starts to go away around age 30?

I did an inexpensive backpacking trip around Europe at college graduation time. It took really bizarre stuff to get me worried. I hopped off the train in each town and started looking for an inexpensive place to stay. I also did not understand why my parents were so worried and I was annoyed that they wanted me to call them frequently. This was of course before handheld phones existed. Overseas calls were a hassle and expense from a payphone.

I might make the same trip today, but I would have a lot more regard for each direction I went, a lot more awareness of my surroundings, and a plan of what to do if attacked. I was really pretty helpless and lucky. It's not that I went anywhere terribly dangerous, but it was very obvious that I was a tourist who didn't know where I was going nor have anyone to help me.

Kinda reminds me of the Mike Tyson quote, "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."

It's a failure of imagination; it's hard to imagine with accuracy what we've never experienced. We have to experience a few things to overcome the exuberance in coming of age. Maybe by age 30 most of us have at least learned enough to fill in an outline of what we don't know, that we become more cautious. I tell my son to experience as much as he can as early in life as he can, because we don't learn how to face life just by waking up each morning. We have to experience the day of hardships and working out solutions to problems. The more we experience each day, the sooner we learn the lessons. Your backpacking trip probably taught you a lot.

IndyMike's gf was shocked because she had an inaccurate imagination. But now having that experience she likely views her own abilities with at least a little more accuracy.

 

[Jackson]

OK, just to clarify, I was mocking the stupidity of a great many humans that UNDERestimate how badly women are over-matched in physical combat and OVERestimate how "awesome" women are.

I'm a realist. I shocked an ex-GF by wrestling her to the bed and telling her to TRY and resist. And I'm not a big or strong guy. I was surprised that she was shocked.

But some dimwit women actually BELIEVE they are somehow super-ninjas cuz they took ONE evening class of self-defense at the Y.

I don't think this is gender specific. Almost everyone with no experience overestimates their ability. We comment on it all the time with regard to shooting. This comes up frequently in Jiu Jitsu. There are a lot of bruised egos the first few times guys roll.

I have been surprised at how much stronger, faster, and more agile a 25yo athlete who lifts weights and works out all the time is vs me (who sits behind a desk and is definitely no athlete). I mean, I expected a big difference, but it was a much bigger gap than I anticipated.

If the guy looks like Thor and you look like the average desk jockey, expect the same shock your GF got. You're going to get mauled.

Without real experience and testing we can't know our limits. Most people are never tested.

 

[Coach]

What is really uneasy in the test world is watching a guy that has kicked your ass drastically a number of times take a severe beat at someone else's hands.

 

[Randy Harris]

Until you have been hit by someone who can hit really hard you just don't have a page in your mental rolodex for just how hard that is....

And as for females vs males the bad news is there is honestly just little that a 100 lb woman can do against a 200+ lb man who has any skill and physicality unless it involves her using a weapon. I'm a firm believer in females carrying sharp pointy things on their person (not in their damn purse) to deal with bigger stronger guys grabbing onto them. Trying to outwrestle someone who might be 100 or more lbs out of your weight class is not a good place to be.

 

[Jackson]

What is really uneasy in the test world is watching a guy that has kicked your ass drastically a number of times take a severe beat at someone else's hands.

That's when you recognize just how many levels there are and how far down the ladder you sit.

 

[Jackson]

Until you have been hit by someone who can hit really hard you just don't have a page in your mental rolodex for just how hard that is....

And as for females vs males the bad news is there is honestly just little that a 100 lb woman can do against a 200+ lb man who has any skill and physicality unless it involves her using a weapon. I'm a firm believer in females carrying sharp pointy things on their person (not in their damn purse) to deal with bigger stronger guys grabbing onto them. Trying to outwrestle someone who might be 100 or more lbs out of your weight class is not a good place to be.

This is just as true for 140lb men vs 240lb men.

 

[Randy Harris]

Yes. And the only upside for the 140lb man is that he is most likely (whether the feminists like it or not) still physically stronger- especially in the upper body- than a 100lb (or even a 140lb) woman. But again if you are fighting 100 lbs out of your weight class no matter your gender it is probably going to end badly unless you have a weapon to use as a force multiplier.

 

[MinuteManMike]

I don't think this is gender specific. Almost everyone with no experience overestimates their ability. We comment on it all the time with regard to shooting. This comes up frequently in Jiu Jitsu. There are a lot of bruised egos the first few times guys roll.

I have been surprised at how much stronger, faster, and more agile a 25yo athlete who lifts weights and works out all the time is vs me (who sits behind a desk and is definitely no athlete). I mean, I expected a big difference, but it was a much bigger gap than I anticipated.

If the guy looks like Thor and you look like the average desk jockey, expect the same shock your GF got. You're going to get mauled.

Without real experience and testing we can't know our limits. Most people are never tested.

Eh...you may be right. If life teaches me anything over and over, it's that I do not think like most people.

I will simply state that I have never seen evidence that men are nearly as delusional about the outcomes in altercations as females. I would guess guys fight more growing up and have much better assessments of things.

Your mileage may vary.

 

[Coach]

That's when you recognize just how many levels there are and how far down the ladder you sit.

And many people have no idea about any of that.

 

[rhino]

Eh...you may be right. If life teaches me anything over and over, it's that I do not think like most people.

I will simply state that I have never seen evidence that men are nearly as delusional about the outcomes in altercations as females. I would guess guys fight more growing up and have much better assessments of things.

Your mileage may vary.

I think the difference is that the "empowerment" aspect of social justice programs girls to believe that it wouldn't be fair for a man to be more physically capable in combative situation, and we can't have anything that's not fair.

Most male delusion and overestimation of physical ability is internal. I've seen a lot of guys who don't lift believe that they can bench press 225 or 315 because they're seen other guys do it, so since they're awesome they can do it too. Most of them had trouble with a singe rep with 135. In terms of physical altercations, it's the same delusion, but it doesn't have the same opportunity for "testing." How many guys first thought when they hear about someone getting a beat-down was "If that had been me, I would have . . ."? Many.

 

[MinuteManMike]

HA! My own weight-lifting is humbling... VERY humbling...

 

[jsharmon7]

Most male delusion and overestimation of physical ability is internal. I've seen a lot of guys who don't lift believe that they can bench press 225 or 315 because they're seen other guys do it, so since they're awesome they can do it too. Most of them had trouble with a singe rep with 135. In terms of physical altercations, it's the same delusion, but it doesn't have the same opportunity for "testing." How many guys first thought when they hear about someone getting a beat-down was "If that had been me, I would have . . ."? Many.

After watching many, many videos of fights online, it’s obvious that a LOT of people overestimate their ability. So many people are itching to get into fights but they have no idea what they’re doing.

 

[Coach]

After watching many, many videos of fights online, it’s obvious that a LOT of people overestimate their ability. So many people are itching to get into fights but they have no idea what they’re doing.

I think you are correct with your statement. The only people that are looking to get into fights are people that have no idea how it is going to go because they over estimate their own abilities, or people who have their opponent over matched completely. The other possibility is in situations like athletics and school setting where the fighters know they will likely be separated pretty quickly.

None of that is like good people trying to protect themselves against criminal attack. In such a situation the winner decides when and if the beating stops. There may not be any help available to separate or stop it.

 

[rhino]

I have an intense aversion to being punched, kicked, grabbed, thrown, tripped, pushed, tackled, and otherwise physically accosted.

 

[Ark]

After watching many, many videos of fights online, it’s obvious that a LOT of people overestimate their ability. So many people are itching to get into fights but they have no idea what they’re doing.

Watching internet videos of real life fights made me deeply scared to ever get in a real life fight. There are so many ways to get so very dead. Inexperienced people can kill each other through sheer dumb luck, but experienced people take inexperienced people apart like a kid tearing down a Lego set. No thanks.