Divorce sucks...

[hornadylnl]

If you think they might be interested in watching it, I'd recommend buying this dvd series for them.

Love and Respect Ministries

Audio/Video :: DVDs :: Love and Respect DVDs - Online Store | Love and Respect

 

[RedneckReject]

I honestly believe more marriages end because of selfish stupidity and foolish pride than any other reason. Each party refuses to look at his/her own behavior and contributions to the problem and focuses solely on how wronged he/she feels. Which leads to tension/malice towards the partner, which further alienates them as a couple, which leads to more perceived injury. And so on and so forth. Ad nauseum.

If more people focused on actively loving rather than submitting to silly emotions, we'd probably have a lot less divorce.

QFT! I think a lot of people forget that a lot of times inconsideration is unintentional and they dwell on how hurt/mad/sad they are. It becomes a vicious cycle, but it can be broken.

 

[hornadylnl]

QFT! I think a lot of people forget that a lot of times inconsideration is unintentional and they dwell on how hurt/mad/sad they are. It becomes a vicious cycle, but it can be broken.

The Love and Respect link I posted upthread deals with that. The circle in their logo represents that. They give the analogy of breathing through an air hose. Women feel loved by showing them love. Men feel loved by showing them respect. The husband does something unloving to his wife, he's stepping on her air hose. She in turn does something disrespectful to her husband and steps on his air hose.

 

[ATOMonkey]

The Love and Respect link I posted upthread deals with that. The circle in their logo represents that. They give the analogy of breathing through an air hose. Women feel loved by showing them love. Men feel loved by showing them respect. The husband does something unloving to his wife, he's stepping on her air hose. She in turn does something disrespectful to her husband and steps on his air hose.

I feel like I've read that from "His Needs Her Needs" as well.

We just spent a ridiculous amount of money (stupid UPS, that's another issue) sending a couple of books for them to read.

 

[spec4]

If she feels neglected and he is "distant", my antenna tells me she got involved with another guy. If so, I don't see coming back from that. Hope I'm wrong and they sort things out.

 

[B6240]

I have been through this myself. It is hard to decide what is the right thing to do but in general when one person is done it is hard to repair. The trust is broken by them wanting to leave and the things they may have done and said. Hopefully everything works out.

 

[ATOMonkey]

What really breaks my heart are the 3 little children who are going to suffer because of this.

A six year old girl with blonde hair and blue eyes who thinks her Daddy hung the moon. A 3 year old boy with big brown eyes who thinks his Daddy is the center of the world and a 1 y/o boy who will never even know his father.

I know that if they get a divorce, he'll literally never see his children again. His career won't allow it.

Maybe 2 or 3 times a year...

 

[TTravis]

What really breaks my heart are the 3 little children who are going to suffer because of this.

A six year old girl with blonde hair and blue eyes who thinks her Daddy hung the moon. A 3 year old boy with big brown eyes who thinks his Daddy is the center of the world and a 1 y/o boy who will never even know his father.

I know that if they get a divorce, he'll literally never see his children again. His career won't allow it.

Maybe 2 or 3 times a year...

Sounds like it is going to be a cold Valentine's Day.

 

[88GT]

If she feels neglected and he is "distant", my antenna tells me she got involved with another guy. If so, I don't see coming back from that. Hope I'm wrong and they sort things out.

Because all women who feel neglected by their husbands seek solace in the arms of another man????

I'll bet you money his work keeps him from engaging in family life and she resents having to carry the water by herself.

 

[snapping turtle]

Why does divorce cost so much money.

"It is one thing that is worth every penny."

Ba da bing

 

[snapping turtle]

On a friendlier note. Sometimes it can be like getting a tooth pulled. Better to get it done and over with with a sharp pain than to live with the slight pain for a long time then get the sharp pain later.

And yes ladies (In my experiance) are like monkeys. They never let go of one branch until they have a complete grasp on another. Most likely there is another tree involved already. So to speak.

 

[sepe]

Sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree.

Love is not a feeling, love is an intentional act that will lead to feelings of
affection and romance.

Also, there is no instance where a divorce has better results than a marriage that is saved.

I don't know if I could fully agree with that, maybe if there was a clarification about the couple being mature and willing to continue working on the marriage. I've seen a few that it would have been much easier to treat it like a Bandaid and just get it over with one quick rip, even if that hurt. Each couple had went the therapy route and made it 6 months to a couple years before they realized it just wouldn't work.

I do agree about love not being a feeling. It seems that many people get married for very selfish reasons and don't actually know the other person before taking the plunge...imo, that is very stupid. But, I'm not really a huge pro-marriage person after seeing as many miserable married couples as I've seen.

 

[MikeDVB]

I've been divorced once and, while hard, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Let's just say I'm lucky I never caught anything from my ex-wife and leave it there. I'm married now to a truly amazing woman and I have an absolutely awesome son.

 

[2cool9031]

Yep...divorce sucks...all you worked for goes down the toilet. Not to mention the child support.

 

[225646]

good luck.... Just make it work one day at a time.

 

[femurphy77]

I have been there. Looking back now it was the best thing that could happen to me. Good luck.

I strongly agree with this!

 

[spec4]

Because all women who feel neglected by their husbands seek solace in the arms of another man????

I'll bet you money his work keeps him from engaging in family life and she resents having to carry the water by herself.

Did I say that? My point is I have seen many situations where the wife decided the grass is greener and she takes a hike. Used to know a lawyer that did a lot of divorces. He said many women decide to bail when they are in their early thirties.

 

[Caleb]

This thread makes me want to go hug my wife...

 

[slowG]

Personally... I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where she didn't want to be with me. Too much pride I guess.

 

[Colt556]

Been there done that! You need two people present to get married but only one to decide it's over. I was served without any warning or notice at all! No fighting, cheating (Well at least on my part) or other discourse. She wouldn't even talk to me about it. I didn't see her for 6 months after I was served. She stayed away while I got my stuff out of the house and erased my existence from her life. Hurt like all Hell!!! But.... she's on her 3rd marriage and we talk on the phone occasionally about family and friends. What's a lonely old dude to do.......