I disagree with most of what you have here. I make it a point to watch surveillance cameras of break-ins and gun fights weekly.
Fair enough. My opinion is just that, it doesn't make me right. I've watched several videos as well. What I seem to notice a lot is:
1) People miss. A LOT.
2) Whatever plans people thought they had pretty rapidly disappear. Both for BG and defender.
Ultimately, the "ideal" defense setup depends on what you as a defender are most comfortable with, how much practice and training you have, how cool a head you an keep, etc. It even depends on house vs apartment, city vs out out of town, and on the specific kinds of threats you might be more likely to face.
Heck, I could argue there is almost always a situation where any particular setup might be the ideal, even the 22 revolver that strikes you as such a bad idea.
I know I'm personally looking into a can. For an 300blk pistol. With a RDS. And a laser. And a light. 30rds of subsonic 300blk with aiming aids? That should cover most HD situations.