You and I sound a lot alike. My mom and I were very close and I was supposed to go on the trip with them but I've been out of work since my open heart surgery and just couldn't afford to go. I wish now I would have sold something to finance the trip. I'm an RN and I might have been able to detect something or possibly gotten help for her. But I'm glad that she did go peacefully. I'm divorced and had no kids so basically alone during this. I have a brother with kids so there are plenty of nieces and nephews out in Greenfield. All of the comments here have helped quite a bit and I'm doing ok I think. There are times when the reality of it washes over me and I cry but for the most part I think I'm ok. I need to go to the funeral home tomorrow to pick out a casket and make arrangements and hopefully that won't be to bad. Thanks again everyone.